Tomorrow, Forever, Always
by misssixty1
Summary: Third installment in the series about Jodi and John Munch, as they now deal with the upcoming birth of their children and still deal with the drama revolving around Jodi's familial connection to the mob, and her attempts to get her father out of prison.
1. Take On Me

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Take On Me_ by A-Ha. Wow, my third story in a series. Fantastic. Still doing titles off song names until I run out of them. Let me know what you think!**

**Take On Me**

"Hey you."

Jodi smiled as she opened up the front door, stepping out of the way to let Betsy in.

They had arrived back in Manhattan two days ago, after which John and Jodi had spent much of their time unpacking (and in bed) with no interruptions. Bliss.

Unfortunately, all good things had to come to an end, and John had to go back to work early that morning, leaving Jodi with nothing to do but call up her best friend.

"Hey Bets." Jodi closed the door behind her and barely had time to blink before Betsy threw her arms around her. Or at least attempted.

"Jesus. You were only gone a week and you got as big as a house."

"You bitch." Jodi giggled before slapping her best friend and leading her into the living room.

After Betsy had called to let her know she was coming, Jodi ordered pizza from about one of a billion local pizza joints. While she would love nothing more than sushi, but sushi was prohibited during pregnancy, but hey, sometimes sacrifices needed to be made.

They sat down on the couch and Jodi opened the box. There was nothing she loved more than a huge slice of New York style cheese pizza. Thin crust. Oozing cheese. The only thing possibly better was cheesecake.

"So...how was Greece?" Betsy asked, sitting down on the couch beside her and grabbing a slice.

"Amazing." Jodi smiled.

"Well, when I don't have a lineup of clients you'll have to tell me all about it. I'm on lunch now. I've got an hour and a half to get my ass back downtown."

"Wow, you look great." Jodi glanced over her body. Betsy had always had a little meat on her bones, taking a smaller version of Kelly Osbourne, although now...well she just looked fantastic.

"Thanks, but don't ask me how I did it because I know you really won't like the answer."

"I get the hint..." Jodi trailed off, immediately knowing already what Betsy had been doing. Even through the heavy eye makeup Jodi could see the dark circles under her eyes and he sores on her face.

"So...there's something I wanted to talk to you about." Jodi set down her half-eaten slice of pizza. If she was going to get this over with, she rather it be now than later. While sit was still eating away at her.

"So do I. You first. Shoot." Betsy crossed her legs.

"Okay, so John and I were talking some things over and...we were interested in doing some things a little...wilder in the bedroom."

Betsy turned slowly, raising an eyebrow.

"Like you haven't been already?"

"Oh no, the sex is great it's just...I haven't been with a woman in such a long time and John has never had a threesome so we were just wondering if..."

"Are you going to ask me to join you in bed?"

"Um...yes actually."

Betsy threw back her head, stifling back laughter.

"Aren't you supposed to use someone who isn't a friend?"

"Yes but I don't really have to worry about you trying to steal John from me do I? Besides...you were the first woman I really thought of that I would want to have sex with now."

"Well that's flattering. You know how bad I still want to fuck you but a threesome..."

"Hey, c'mon. What happened to Betsy Roshav? The tattooed Sam Jones?"

"Hell, I guess. When were you thinking of this?"

"Uh, actually I was hoping...awhile from now. As badly as I want it to happen, John is the only person I want to see me naked with this weight right now."

"Ah. Suit yourself, although with those tits of yours right now there is no other time I would rather be doing it."

"So, what did you have to talk to me about?"

Betsy looked at her. Was this really her place to say anything? She knew the anger Jodi still harbored for her mother. Perhaps it was Anthony who should tell her about the party.

"You know what, never mind. It wasn't really important." Betsy shrugged before busying herself with another slice of pizza, ignoring Jodi's eyes. Sooner of later though, she would find out.

"Hey Elliot, can I talk to you?"

Elliot turned around to find John coming towards him, following him up the stairs to the lounge.

"What's up Munch?" he asked.

John waited until the got to the top of the stairs before pulling Elliot by his arm into the shadows, out of view of everyone downstairs.

"I need some...help." John sighed. This had been his last resort, and he didn't want to admit to Jodi he had no idea what to expect when it came to this children thing.

"Is it about that sex on the phone thing? Liv told me all about it. She said Cragen wasn't really pissed so much as surprised."Elliot grinned.

"No, it's not that it's...I need some advice on being a father."

Elliot looked surprised for a moment and raised his eyebrows before nodding.

"Oh. Well...you've worked with kids before. It's work but it's not tragically hard."

"I know but...victims and kids are two different things."

"Well, at least you know that much." Elliot grinned, before sitting down on the couch.

"Listen Munch. You and I have had our differences, but when it comes to being a parent...no one can really help you but yourself. If you love your kids enough, which I know you will, it'll come to you. All you really need to know is to love them, do what's best for them, and be there."

John nodded, looking down. It sounded easy but he knew it couldn't possibly be if marriages were ended over raising children. Was he really, truly, prepared for this?

Well, even if he wasn't...he had three months and three children coming. He was going to have to get ready.

"Hey, what you up to?" John asked as he wandered into one of the guest bedrooms, which Jodi was clearing out vigorously.

"Tyring to get these rooms together. I was thinking maybe for the first few months we could have all of them in here together, then give the girls this room and move him across the hall into the other guest bedroom."

"Yeah but that room is huge. Do you really want him in there alone?"

"Well, we have another extra room on the third floor, which I haven't been up to since I moved in here, and I really don't one of them up there and the other two down here."

"Huh."

John looked around the room, which was now an absolute mess. Boxes and curtains were everywhere, the entire room had been torn apart.

"I do have a question for you though." she turned around, putting her hands on the small of her back and sighing.

"What?"

"Paint it ourselves or hire a professional?"

"Uh..." John trailed off. While Jodi was an incredible artist (in every aspect. Anything to do with art she excelled at), he himself was not. And he didn't like the thought of her around all those paint fumes didn't go over well with him.

"Well, I know you'll do a great job but I'd be more comfortable with you hiring someone...and staying out of this hallway for a few days."

He wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her belly.

"Fine. So...I'm going to take a little break soon. How about you meet me in the bedroom?" she turned around, putting her hands around his neck.

"Oh...okay." John grinned, looking down. Her shirt was...well pretty much the definition of low cut, exposing her marvelous cleavage.

Jodi giggled, watching his gaze. He suddenly jerked his head up. Had it been possible, she would be rubbing her chest up against him, although with the current size of her stomach, it wasn't really possible.

"Damn what size are you now?" he suddenly asked, resisting the urge to rip her top off.

"Do you really want to know?" she raised an eyebrow. She loved having big breasts, she really did...but this was just too big. Her back hurt. She had a hard time shopping for bras now. She really just couldn't wait to get the milk out of her and back to her original size.

"Yeah I kind of do." John grinned.

"Eh...42F."she blushed wildly.

"Damn!" John exclaimed, grabbing her arm as she looked away.

"Wait...baby what's wrong?" he asked.

"What do you mean what's wrong? I'm a fucking F cup! Most guys think D is too big!"Jodi looked at the ground.

John put his hands on her shoulders before kissing her temple.

"I'm the only guy it should matter to, and I love you no matter what."

Jodi turned her head and smiled. So now the question was...what exactly had she done to deserve him?

Elizabeth stared up at the ceiling, listening to the front door open as Trevor came home. It was nearly eleven. She had been waiting up for him all night, only because she had so much on her mind that she really didn't want to be alone right now.

He walked into the bedroom and tossed his keys down before raising his eyebrows.

"I didn't know you were here." he smiled.

"Yeah." she smiled, turning her head.

He hesitated for a moment before getting into the bed and climbing on top of her, pressing his lips to hers.

"What's wrong?" he asked, resting his forehead against hers.

"My birthday is next week." she sighed.

Trevor sat up. Shit. She hadn't even told him, so why was she expecting him to know already.

"I'm sorry...I didn't know. We never talked about it..." he began, but she stopped him.

"No it's not that it's just...how old are you?"

"40. Why?"

"I'm going to be 41. God. I've only got another 30 to 40 years ahead of me then."

Trevor got off her, resting his head on his elbow.

"Liz...why don't you try not to think about that. Who knows, you could be one of those people who lives to be 100."

"Or I could only live for the next hour." she said bitterly, turning around.

He sighed. Back downhill again. No part of him dared suggest she seek professional help for her depression, but it was really concerning him. When she got like this he found it best to just hold her and say nothing else.

He wrapped his arms around her, pushing her long hair off her neck and kissing it. Elizabeth smiled, closing her eyes. This was still the happiest she had come to being in quite some time.

John opened the bedroom door. He ended up having to run out to the precinct to drop something off for a moment, which forced him to postpone his encounter with Jodi.

As soon as he opened the door he stopped. Jodi was posed seductively, a silk sheet placed intricately over parts of her body. She smiled as he slammed the door behind him, her red hair falling in unruly waves around her tan shoulders.

"Hi." she grinned, the silk falling off as she shifted, exposing miles of tanned leg.

John was unable to say anything. Something made her skin glow more than usual against the white sheet, and her thick lashes framed her eyes beautifully, giving her a smoky feline look.

He walked over, getting into the bed before running his fingers across her smooth chest, watching her collarbone rise and fall gently.

"How long are you going to make me lay here?" she smiled, raising an eyebrow.

"Wait...I just want to look at you for a bit." John shushed her, looking up and down her body. A part of the sheet fell just below one of her nipples, grazing the raised skin.

Jodi closed her eyes. John's eyes felt so amazing. She could feel them, raking her body. Looking her up and down.

"How far would you go for me?" John asked, leaning down and sweeping his lips across her jaw.

"You know my only limits." Jodi sighed, her eyes still closed.

"So if I just want to watch you touch yourself..."

"We've done that before, remember?"Jodi opened her eyes and smiled.

"Well...I want to do it again." John said softly, taking the bottom of the sheet gently and pulling it up above her waist. He trailed his fingers across her inner thigh tracing her tattoo before getting back on his knees.

"Will you?..." John asked.

Jodi bit her lip, before reaching down, and rubbing herself gently. John watched as she kept her eyes on him, her body trembling in anticipation and delight.

John watched. Those delicate fingers of hers, working their way over her bare mound. Rubbing herself, teasing him. She knew what she was doing. And she was doing it more than well.

"Do it." John bit his lip, grabbing one of her breasts, unable to stop himself.

"Do what?" Jodi's eyes swam with lust.

"Finger yourself."

She spread her legs, inserting a finger inside of herself. Gasping as she felt another inside of her, looking down to find one of John's.

He pulled out her hand, sucking on her fingers before pushing a strand of hair out of her face and kissing her, savoring the taste of her warm lips.

Jodi sat up, trying to find a position in which she was comfortable before spreading her legs, runnign her hand across her tattoo.

John looked down, taking in the view before shedding his clothes and taking one of her hands, letting her gently caress his hard-on.

"Fuck I want you inside of me." she growled, tracing the veins that stood against his erection.

John shivered under her fingertips, before grabbing her legs, preparing to enter her.

"Yes ma'am." he grinned before forcefully giving her a rough thrust.

"Thanks for meeting with me." Anthony said as he sat down across from a handsome young man with very tanned skin, black hair, and piercing green eyes.

"You got what I asked for?" he said.

"All seventeen grand. Want a drink?"

The man smiled at Anthony before nodding.

"You seem to be pretty good at this." the man smiled.

"You learn when you're in the business." Anthony pursed his lips before giving the waitress and smoldering once-over as she brought over a round of drinks.

She blushed scarlet, smiling back and tossing her blonde mane before walking off, swinging her hips as she did so.

"Okay, right down to business. You know what you're here for."

"Man can't even enjoy his drink. But yes. So what information do you want?"

"I want to know everything about The Don's plans for my family."

**Also, for any of you fellow Ohioans or Cavs fans, I will just say this: FUCK that piece of trash. We WILL get through this, and everything Dan Gilbert said was right. We are damned determined now, and I know we will will that championship before the "King" does. We are witness alright. We are witness to what a traitor looks like. We don't need him. GO CAVS!**


	2. Bad Things

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Bad Things _ by Jace Everett. I also do not own the rights to the show _True Blood _ (one of the most fantastic shows you will ever see.)**

**Bad Things**

"Honey, can you come here for a second?"

John made a U-turn, walking back into the bedroom. Jodi was laying across the bed, supported by dozens of pillows beneath her back as she watched _True Blood_.

"What's up babe?" John asked, looking to the television as Bill and Sookie made love passionatly. He watched as Bill sank his fangs into her neck, and the blood spilled everywhere. As he turned back to Jodi he noticed she was really into it. Personally he thought it was just sick.

"Um, I was wondering which color scheme you want to go with for the rooms. I've already decided. I want to keep them all in the same room for the next six months or so, then we can separate them into different rooms."

John nodded, originally not noticing the paint samples spread all over the bed.

"What were you thinking?" he asked.

"Well, that's the thing. If we have them all in the same room, I really don't want to lean towards one gender with the room, but at the same time I don't feel like redoing it in six months."

"Why don't you just go with white, or black or something?"

Jodi looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Babe...no." she shook her head before turning back to the paint samples. John shrugged, kicking off his shoes and resting his head on her thigh.

"Think you'll be home tomorrow?" Jodi asked, looking down at him.

"Unlikely. Why?" John replied.

"The cribs are being delivered. I'm going to need help and I really don't want to call Betsy."

"Why don't you call Anthony?"

Jodi bit her lip for a moment before shrugging and smiling at John.

"See, I knew you were good for something."

"Love you too."

John turned over, kissing her warm thigh. She was wearing one of his extremely large (what wasn't large on his frame} college t-shirts, and it looked as though she had nothing underneath.

Just as he was about to say something, Sadie rushed into the room, jumping up onto the bed and crawling over John's stomach.

"Hey there little lady." he picked her up, kissing her fuzzy head. Jodi couldn't help but giggle. She was sure he actually loved that little dog more than she did. She walked in on him sometimes, talking to Sadie like she was a baby. Once she even found him rocking her. Damn he loved that dog.

"Did you take her out?" Jodi asked.

"Yes ma'am as soon as I got home."

"Thanks."

Jodi's phone vibrated loudly on the nightstand, startleing them both.

"Hon can you answer that for me?" she asked.

"Sure." he sighed before picking it up and pressing the SEND button.

"Hello?" Betsy's voice came through.

"Hey Betsy, it's John. What's up?"

"Where's Jodi?"

"Right next to me."

"Ah, well ask her if she wants to come out with me and the girls tonight."

He put the phone on his chest, looking up at her.

"She wants you to come out tonight." he mouthed.

"Fuck no. I'm six months pregnant, swollen, and cranky. Fuck that shit." Jodi chuckled before spreading out the color samples before her.

"She says no." John relayed.

"Well tell her we're going to have fun." Betsy whined.

'It's going to be fun." John raised his eyebrows.

Jodi snatched the phone from him before speaking into it clearly.

"I said no." she said before hanging up and tossing it across the bed.

"You should get out." John nudged her.

Jodi looked down at him before throwing the samples.

"John. I'm carrying three kids. My back hurts, my tits hurt, my ankles and feet hurt, I have to pee every five seconds, and I'm horny as sin. I'm not going anywhere."

John chuckled before pulling down and kissing her.

"So, I was thinking we could do a light blue. The color works for boys and girls. Proabably will end up just repainting it in a few months anyway."

"Okay, that sounds nice. You know what, have you started looking for a new job yet?" John asked.

Jodi hesitated for a moment before sighing.

"The thing is...I know I really should be but...I don't know if it's the right time or not. I'm due in three months, then after that I start school again and have to deal with the children. I'm just going to wait a bit."

John nodded, before getting out of the bed.

"I'm going to go grab something to eat. Do you want anything?"

"Um...where were you going?" Jodi asked.

"I was thinking pizza or something. That okay?"

"Yeah that's great, see you in a few."

"Anthony what a surprise, great to see you!" Elizabeth exclaimed as she opened the door to Trevor's penthouse suite. He wouldn't be home for a few hours but Elizabeth had not seen her son in two weeks and there was no way she could say no when he called and asked to come visit her.

"Hey ma. Damn, who's crib is this?" Anthony asked, pulling off his sunglasses as he stepped inside.

"Trevor's." Elizabeth smiled, closing the door behind him before showing him tot he living room.

"Shit. You're still with the lawyer?"

"Yes I am." she smiled, sitting down across from her son and crossing her thin legs. Anthony looked better than she had ever seen him. As she studied him he looked more like his father than ever, down to the slightly-arrogant attitude.

"Well, I came to give you something." Anthony pulled a wrapped box out of his pocket.

Elizabeth took it, looking at him with her head tilted.

"What is this?" she asked.

"Just a birthday present for next week." he shrugged.

"Oh...Ant...you really didn't have to." Elizabeth smiled.

"You're my mom. Just open the damn thing."

Elizabeth waited before doing so, tearing off the gold wrapping and ribbon before opening it. Inside was a beautiful gold locket, encrusted with tiny diamonds and a picture inside.

"I know locket's are a bit old fashioned but...I thought you'd like it."

Elizabeth traced the picture inside. An old and weathered one of her wedding day with Anthony. No matter what, she still loved him, no matter how things ended between them.

"Sweetie this is beautiful." Elizabeth smiled before pulling her son into her arms, holding him tightly.

"Happy birthday mom." he whispered.

"I love you too honey." she squeezed him. At least she knew she had someone in this life.

"How do I look?"

"Baby you look beautiful."

Jodi smoothed back her red hair as she looked in the mirror of the car. She and John were on their way to breakfast with his friend Brian, whom he wanted her to meet. As usual she was nervous as hell and wanted nothing more than him to like her.

"Jo, don't worry...he'll like you." John rubbed her arm. Jodi gave him a small smile before opening the door and stepping out.

She was wearing a white lace halter sundress, that actually accentuated her pregnanycy but it was nice as well as matching kitten-heel sandals. They were the lowest heels she had ever worn in her life but she didn't have many options now with her swollen feet and ankles.

She sighed before closing the door and grabbing John's hand as they crossed the street.

They looked like the most handsome of couples. John with his dark suit and glasses, Jodi with her white dress that drew attention to her pregnant belly and infamous beauty.

John opened the door to the resturaunt, ushering her inside. The maître d' stood before them, dressed in a fine Italian suit. John couldn't help but chuckle. Brian always said he hated places like this. Either he had changed tremendously over the past eleven years or he himself was trying to impress Jodi.

"Table for two?" he asked, smiling forcefully.

"We're meeting someone here. A Brian Cassidy?"

The man nodded and smiled, extending his hand before leading them into the interior of the resturaunt.

John slipped his hand around Jodi's waist, almost hearing her heart race beneath him.

"Relax, everything will go fine." he whispered in her ear.

She turned to him before giving a weak smile and putting her hand atop his.

"And here we are."

The both looked in front of them. At a lavish table set with candles and wine was Brian. He stood up, extending an arm.

"John! Hey man, great to see you again." he shook his buddy's hand.

"Yeah you too man. Brian, this is my wife Jodi. Jodi, Brian."

"Hi." Jodi effortlessly gave her heart-stopping smile, shaking Brian's hand firmly.

"Nice to finally meet you. I've heard much."

Jodi smiled before turning as John pulled out her chair. She manuevered herself, trying to sit down comofortably. It took a little bit of time, effort, and adjustment but she finally sighed, putting a hand on her stomach before trying to catch her breath.

John sat beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Jesus John...you didn't tell me you two were expecting." Brian grinned.

Jodi turned to him, tilting her head.

"I kind of wanted it to be a surprise." he shrugged.

"Yeah but then I wouldn't have ordered the wine."

"It's fine." John shrugged.

"So...you two worked together?" Jodi asked.

"Yeah. Back in '99 we were partners...I ended up quitting a bit later though. I just couldn't handle things at the SVU."

"Understandable." Jodi nodded, looking up at John as he moved his hand from her shoulders to her thigh, squeezing it gently. She giggled. He got horny at the most inappropiate times. It was always a time when they were in public. Like, in front of dozens of people where they couldn't possibly smeak off anywhere without looking suspicious.

He rubbed her thigh gently, before turning back to his friend.

"What about you Brian? You find her yet?"

Brian leaned back and sighed.

"You know John...for awhile I thought I really did, but sadly I was wrong. I just figure I'll wait until she comes along. Until then, I'm in no rush."

"Well, look how long it took me to find Jodi here. Looks like waiting works out pretty well."

Brian and John both laughed and Jodi relaxed as she became more comfortable.

"So...are you from here?" she asked.

"Yup. New York is my place. I transferred into narcotics after I left the SVU, and I worked there for seven years before moving to vice with our other old partner Monique. What about you?"

"Well, I was born out in Cali. Came here when I was twelve, and I've been here every since."

"Going to school anywhere?"

"Yes, I will be attending Juilliard in the fall."

"Damn. John, you picked a winner right here."

John chuckled, his hand brushing Jodi's breast, and she knew he had done it intentionally.

"You know, I need to run to the restroom. I'll be right back." she stood up, grasping the table as all her weight shifting and scooting out.

John watched as she walked away, looking down at his watch. Something about that dress she had worn tonight. The way her hair was pulled back into one long plait. Her scent. She was driving him out of his mind at this table. He needed to get her home so he could damage that girl.

"Damn John. How the hell did you manage to get that? She's amazing." Brian leaned forward.

"Yeah she is." John grabbed the bottle of wine, looking around for someone to pour it, but it appeared everyone was busy.

"I'll get it." Brian grabbed the bottle, brandishing it in the air wildly, causing everyone to turn and look.

Withing seconds a waiter came running over, bottle-opener in hand.

"My apologies he said."

"None needed." Brian smiled handsomely as he poured.

"Will your third guest be wanting some?"

"No thanks."

He turned to find Jodi, hands on her stomach.

"Excuse me miss." he bowed his head before stepping out of her way to make room as she got back into her seat. As soon as she did so she sighed, laying her napkin across her lap.

"So, where were we?" she smiled.

As soon as they stepped past the doorway John slammed Jodi up against the front door, pinning her.

"What?" she asked.

Without a word he leaned in and kissed her, shoving his tongue into her mouth and pulling her hair out of its slicked back hairdo and letting it fall around her smooth shoulders.

"I've been wanting to do that all night." he panted as soon as he pulled away.

"Yeah I could tell." Jodi smirked, putting a hand around his neck before kissing him again.

John felt her large breasts against him, and ran his hand over her torso, squeezing them. Jodi grunted.

"Sorry did that hurt?" he asked, knowing how sensitive her breasts were getting.

"Yeah do it again." she gasped. They hadn't had rough sex in what seemed like eons, and now wasn't the best time, but as long as they kept it to a minimum they would be alright.

He bent down to pick her up, almost dropping her immediately.

"Putting me down might be a good idea. I am twenty pounds heavier." she giggled, attacking him with her mouth again as soon as he put her down.

He grabbed her dress, pulling it over her head and grabbing her ass and he buried his face into her neck, biting down roughly.

Jodi dug her fingers into his back, gritting her teeth as his sank into her flesh. He moved around her neck, feeling her tremor and moan underneath him.

"God I want you to fuck me." she moaned into his ear.

"With pleasure." John chuckled, kissing her again before grabbing her hand and all but dragging her away from the door.

"You know, I'm beginning to think that you like me." Anthony smiled as he stepped out of the door to his hotel only to find Olivia, getting off the elevator.

"Sorry to disappoint you but no. Actually, I was just looking for some company. I have to night off."

"Oh? What kind of company?" Anthony raised his eyebrows, putting an arm around her.

"Not the kind you think." Olivia shrugged away from him, albeit reluctantly. She couldn't deny the fact that he smelled amazing. Not many guys had to ability to do that. It was either they smelled bad, or like they had just taken a bath in a sea of Old Spice, which was just as hard on the nose.

"How do you know I didn't have plans tonight?"

"Did you?" she asked, a bit deflated.

"Yes actually, but you can come with me."

"Oh...no I don't want to interuppt your plans."

"Nope it's fine. It would actually be nice to have a female there to help me in this case."

"So what exactly is it we're doing?"

"You'll see..."

"Jesus fucking Christ yes!" Jodi screamed as John yanked back her hair forcefully, sending shivers through her body as he pounded into her mercilessly.

John dug his nails into her ass as he looked down at her underneath him. Her hair in disarray. Her back, still maintaning her original shape although he knew there were three kids in the front.

"Yeah do you like that?" he hissed, smacking her ass with an open palm.

"Oh god yes! Do it again!"

"Do it again what?"

"Please! Punish me I'm a fucking slut!" she whined, clenching the sheets tightly with her white-polished fingers.

"You want to be punished?"

"Yes please punish me." she gritted her teeth.

John progressively began to have a deeper appreciation for pregnant sex with Jodi. It felt like she was tighter than ever, and was always pounding. Throbbing wildly.

Not to mention how much she came. How nice her ass felt beneath his fingers. The glow of her skin.

She was a hormonally driven sex machine.

And he loved every second of it.


	3. Not Ready To Make Nice

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Not Ready To Make Nice_ by The Dixie Chicks. **

**Not Ready To Make Nice**

"Shit." Jodi moaned before rolling and getting out of bed. In the process she awoke John, who was just on the brink of sleep.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sitting up and putting his glasses back on.

"They're kicking." she muttered, opening their bedroom door and leaving the room.

John threw himself out of the bed, following her. He had noticed an incredible decline in her mood the last week. She had gone from delightful and happy to downright depressed. He was starting to get kind of worried.

He followed her into the kitchen, where she was digging out a quart of Brownie Fudge ice cream and attacking it viciously with a spoon.

"Babe what's the matter?" John asked quietly, walking over to her.

"Nothing." she snapped before sucking the spoon and sighing before slamming the container down and putting her hands on her stomach.

Naturally John had dealt with her mood swings during her...well he just liked to call it her "dragon woman time" but this was about ten times worse. He was sure they were going to get away without them, but apparently not.

He walked over to her, putting his hands around her waist before kissing her nose.

"We're going to have to get a new car." she suddenly said.

John thought about it before putting a hand on her cheek.

"We'll worry about that when the time is right." he said before kissing her cheek.

As he began to walk away Jodi smiled.

"I love you." she said, before grabbing the ice cream again.

* * *

"Where's he off to?" Elliot asked Olivia as John grabbed his jacket and almost ran out of the squad room.

Elliot watched her face as she said it. It was evident she was holding something in.

"Liv, you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah." she replied quickly, looking away.

Elliot knew her better than that. He knew her well enough to tell even when she was lying. Right now she wasn't even really trying.

"E-excuse me. Are you Detective Stabler?"

A young girl was standing before him. She didn't look any older than Dickie was. Long brown hair, braces, prominent nose and jawline.

"Yeah can I help you?" he turned around in his chair.

"My name is Rachel. They said I should come to you."

"Who said? Did someone hurt you sweetie?"

As soon as he said the words she broke down before him, putting her hands on her face.

"Yes I-I was raped."

* * *

"Oh, I love this!"

John watched as Jodi grabbed a frilly pink dress, tossing it into their shopping cart which was now absolutely full of baby clothes. They hadn't even gotten to the section with the cribs and high chairs and stuff. The things they _really_ needed.

"I think we have enough clothes." John began but was quickly silenced by a menacing look from Jodi.

"Well, they're certainly going to have enough clothes." he looked down. The cart was absolutely full of dozens upon dozens of outfits. Whites and pinks for the girls. Blues for their son. She was going to have Suri Cruise beat.

He didn't even want to think about how much this was going to come to. Nordstrom wasn't as expensive as say, Bergdorf Goodman but they were still paying a heavy price. Although she tried to hide it he spied to Burberry tag on one of the little dresses she had picked.

They were going to spoil these kids entirely too much.

"We still have to get shoes." she said.

"Can't we do that another time?" John snapped.

Jodi looked at him before sighing and tossing one last pair of pants along with the others and pushing on. As he looked at her he wondered. Where the hell had she even gotten a cart from?

"Fine. Why don't you go pull the car around to the front doors and I'll get these checked out."

"Anythin so I won't see the price tag right?" John aske.d

Jodi giggled before grabbing the cart and steering off into the other direction.

John watched before before going towards the doors of the store. They still had to hit a few more stores, not to mention finish clearing out the rooms downstairs.

"Hi, all ready?" one of the salesgirls asked.

"Yes I am thankyou." Jodi smiled before piling up the clothes on the counter.

Six minutes and four figures later, Jodi left with bags of clothing, none of which were for her. She knew that Caleb would be surprised when he saw her credit card bill, considering the fact she had not yet told him she was pregnant. They certainly had some catching up to do.

As soon as she walked outside into the ninety degree heat John was sitting in front of the department store, the car idle. He got out, opening the door for Jodi and helping her in before tossing the bags into the backseat and pulling away.

* * *

Anthony sighed as he climbed the stairs to his sisters townhouse, dreading what he was about to do, but...it had to be done.

"Do you want me to go inside with you?" Olivia asked.

"Um...no. I don't want you to see that side of her." Anthony shook his head before knocking on the brass front door loudly, ignoring the protest from his knuckles.

He waited several minutes before John opened the door, loooking more stresssed than Anthony had ever seen.

"Hey Anthony, what's up?" he asked.

"I uh, came to see my sister. She around?"

"Yeah." John replied shortly before opening the door from him.

"Thanks man. Where is she? I need to talk to her."

John sighed.

"She's down at the end of the second hall on this floor. Was that Olivia I just saw with you?"

"Oh, yeah."

"You two dating or something?"

"No man. I really don't think it'll ever happen. She just isn't interested."

John nodded before heading back to the kitchen, where he had been nursing a glass of bourbon as Jodi commanded her kingdom back there.

Even if he hadn't known where it was, it wasn't hard to find the second hall. All he did was follow the trail of furniture and the smell of construction all the way to the last three rooms on the floor.

Jodi was inside one of the rooms, wearing a pair of yoga stretch pants and a flowy white top that showed off her stomach as she directed a bunch of men around the room.

"JO!" Anthony yelled, trying to get her attention.

It took her a few moments for her to turn around but when she finally did, Anthony was about ready to abandon ship and turn around and run.

"Hi, what do you need?" she asked shortly, stress and moodiness written all over her face.

"I need to talk to you." he said.

She sighed before storming out of the room, grabbing Anthony's arm and yanking him into the empty room across the hall.

"What the hell do you need? I'm busy as you can see right now." she put her hands on her wide hips.

"Um...well, I got these for you." he pushed a bouquet of flowers into her hands.

She looked down at them. A handful of beautiful long-stemmed black roses, her absolute favorite. And obviously expensive. For her wedding she literally had to run all around Manhattan looking for a florist who carried them.

She smiled as she sniffed them before shaking her head and remembering that he was standing in front of her.

"What the hell did you do now?" she asked.

"What? I can't just bring my sister some flowers?"

"Anthony. Cut the horseshit. What the fuck are you doing here?" she clenched her jaw.

"Okay well, for starters having a coupla kids inside of you don't give you an excuse to be such a fucking bitch. Secondly, I came just to remind you of moms birthday."

She made a strangled noise and her face flushed instantly with anger and the mention of the word 'mom'.

"I don't care when the hell that bitch's birthday is. She's nothing to me." with that she spun on her heel, making her way toward the door, but Anthony grabbed her arm forcefully, pulling her back.

"Jo, she really loves you. I know she wants more than anything for you to be there. Even Betsy-"

"What the fuck does Betsy have to do with this?" she snapped.

Anthony looked up at the ceiling. He had a habit of saying things he shoudn't in the heat of an aurgument.

"I went to her...and asked her to help plan a party for mom."

Thousands of things flew through Jodi's mind. She knew that party planning was a straight up business for Betsy, but was it really that hard to tell Anthony to go to another planner? The chances of him blacklisting her were slim, so why the hell did she agree to it?

"Well, you can tell both her and mom that they can go fuck themselves. I have three bedrooms to remodle. Clothes, cribs, carriages, a new car, and other shit to buy. I have to learn how to be a mother. I have to childproof this big ass townhouse. She is an insignifigant part of my life that I'm not wasting my time on."

With that Jodi pushed him out of the way before throwing open the door and slamming it behind her, leaving Anthony alone in the empty room, just wondering what the hell he would tell his mother.

* * *

"Everything alright?" John asked as Jodi stormed into the bedroom, throwing open the door in a whirlwind of anger.

She grunted before falling on the bed.

John moved his folder of paperwork onto the nightstand, scooting over.

"No." she muttered, rolling onto her side.

John took off his glasses before moving in behind her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"You know I can tell when you're lying." he kissed her unbelieveably soft skin, brushing her brilliant hair out of her face, which was getting longer with every day. Half of it was braided intricately into one giant plait while the rest hung down.

"Are those guys still working down there?" he asked.

"Yeah." she sighed before rolling over on her back, putting a hand on his face.

John climbed on top of her, leaning down before letting his lips brush hers. Gently enough that she could barely feel it, but arousing nontheless.

She was so beautiful. Red hair fanning around her head. The blush outlining her high cheekbones. The little features that he had never really payed attention to.

He traced her eyebrows. Her browbone was prominent. Arched towards the outer edge. Her eyes, wide but slanted. That which gave her the feline quality he had always noticed.

Her nose was the slightest bit crooked, coming to a sharp point. It was by no means large, but she could be mistaken for Italian.

Then there were her lips. Soft. Softer than her skin. Full. Literally shaped as though they had been carved in a factory somewhere. Red tint. The things he had to remember in the force, but had never actually looked at with his wife.

"What are you doing?" Jodi giggled.

"Shh." he quieted her, pressing his lips to her neck before moving down to her feet.

Her usually dainty ankles were swollen, and the veins in her feet were pressed close against her skin. Because of her dancing, her feet were the only part of her body that weren't soft. Her second toe was longer than her big toe, her pinkie curled in towards her foot.

John crawled back up to her before pressing his lips against hers.

"What's that all about?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Just wanting to know your body better." he grinned.

"There's other places you haven't been yet..."

* * *

"Don't sweat it, she'll be over it in a few days." Betsy assured Anthony as she tossed back a shot of Kentucky Bourbon.

They were in a bar on the Upper East Side, Betsy scouting for girls while Anthony...well basically did the same thing.

It was actually by total conincidence that they ran into each other here. Betsy had been wrapping up a few last minute details with a client over drinks, when Anthony walked in, looking as though he was going to take an AK-47 to the world.

After her charge left she invited him to a round of drinks, and listened as he told her about his disastrous attempt to get Jodi to show up at her own mothers birthday party. He really didn't understand what her problem was. He had forgiven his mother. Why couldn't she?

"Well, I know it wouldn't have been as bad if she didn't have the kids inside of her but still...I mean, I was just trying to make ma happy here." he shrugged.

Betsy looked around before chuckling lightly. Anthony was drawing a barage of looks from some of the other girls aroudn the bar, checking him out with no shame.

Most of them looked like whores. A few were decent girls who had just gotten turned around int here. She crossed her legs, leaning in closer and puttinga hand on his thigh.

"What are you doing?" he asked, looking up at her in confusion.

"Making half the girls in this room say even worse things about me then they did when they first saw me." she grinned before snatching his shotglass away and downing it.

Anthony turned back, laughing quietly before returning to Betsy. Normally he would be all over all the girls here, but for some reason it didn't appeal to him like it used to.

He wanted more than just a good fuck. He wanted something actually worthwhile. Something special. He was sick of doing nothing but chaising tail, taking turns with one girl after the next. God even knew if he had any kids running around out there.

He grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together.

"Well, let them say things babe. Don't mean shit to me."

"Amen." Betsy said before grabbing another shotglass and raising it.

"So...what's going on with you and cop lady?" she asked.

"What?" he said sharply.

"You and the cop. Something going on between you two?"

"Oh, no. I really wish but...she's not into me why?"

"I just always got a rainbow vibe off of her to be honest. At Jodi's wedding, there was no way in hell I thought she could be the slightest bit straight."

"She's not a lesbian."

"Is she bi?"

"I think Jo mentioned something about it once but I dunno it's not really my business."

"Huh. Well if you get the chance...fuck her. God knows I want to."

Anthony chuckled. Betsy was becoming quite a delight to hang out with. She was just like one of the guys, except she still had that female intuitoin that told him what to do or not to do when it came to women.

"I like hanging out with you Betsy." he said.

"Of course you do." she smiled before leaning in and whispering in his hear, her breasts brushing against his arm.

"What are you thinking of?" he whispered.

"Something really crazy."

"You know...I have just the idea." he said before fishing around in his pocket. By now a majority of all female eyes were on them, trying in vain to capture Anthony's attention. Wondering why the hell a guy like him was talking to an tattoeed girl with pale skin and jet black hair.

He hopped off his stool, getting down on one knee before fishing a ringbox out of his pocket. There was nothing inside but from across the bar no one would be able to tell.

"Betsy, I love you more than anything. Would you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

She gasped, so dramatically that Anthony almost doubled over in laughter.

"Oh Anthony, I would love to be your wife." she gushed before hopping off her stool and throwing her arms around them.

"Sweep me into your arms and carry me out." she whispered.

He did so, trying to hold in his laughter all the while. He had not had fun, really had fun, like this in such a long time, and it was safe to say that he really missed just plain fun.

There was a time for everything.


	4. When Did Your Heart Go Missing

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _When Did Your Heart Go Missing_ by Rooney.**

**When Did Your Heart Go Missing**

"Is this Jodi Munch?"

"Yes it is." Jodi smiled, finally glad that someone had gotten her name correct.

"Hi, I'm calling on behalf of Alberta Ferretti."

"I'm listening." Jodi sat down with the phone.

"Feretti is doing a photoshoot next week for the 2011 fall collection and we need new faces. Someone said your name and Ferretti wants to book you for a go-see."

"Oh! Well, what day and time?"

"Next Tuesday at three. Bring your headshots."

"Okay, thankyou."

"We will look forward to seeing you."

Jodi hung up the phone before getting off the couch and walking up the stairs to their room.

"John! Baby!" she exclaimed before throwing open the bedroom door.

John was sitting on the floor, all of his shoes spread around him and his shirt pretty much covered in shoe polish.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked.

"Cleaning my shoes. What does it look like I'm doing?"

Jodi rolled her eyes. It actually seemed as though he cared about shoes more than she did. And she loved shoes more than Carrie Bradshaw.

"Well, I just got a call, and a designer wants me to go to a go-see next week."

John looked up, putting one of his shoes down.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes." Jodi gushed, walking over to him before sitting down, pressing her forhead against his.

"My wife. The model. And dancer. And actress."

"Don't forget mother." she smiled before kissing him.

He put a hand on her face, accidently smearing black polish across her jaw.

"Sorry."

She giggled, before inhaling before pushing herself off the ground.

"Jesus. Is this how it feels to be morbidly obese?" she panted, bending over and trying to catch her breath.

John chuckled, watching her leave.

"Need any help down there?" he asked.

"Uh, no. I'm just finishing unpacking all these wedding gifts then the guys are going to come back to finish working on the rooms downstairs."

"When are you going to let me see them?" John asked.

Jodi turned around and smiled.

"When they're done."

"Oh yeah, that reminds me...did you know that Sigourney Weaver lives across the street from you?"

Jodi nodded.

"...Sigourney Weaver. Aliens. Avatar. The Sigourney Weaver."

"Yes John I was aware."

"Well...thanks for telling me."

"Let me guess, you want an autograph."

"Well-"

"I'll do you one better. I'll have her over for lunch."

"Why are you duct-taping the cat?" Anthony asked as he watched Betsy, sitting on the floor of her living room in nothing but a pair of black panties as she put duct-tape on her cat.

"I'm getting the lint out of his furrrrr." she said slowly.

Anthony sat down on the floor. Both of them were as high as soon. Betsy barely even knew where she was, and for Anthony...well the walls were moving.

He and Betsy had spent the past 24 hours locked in her penthouse suite, getting high as hell, eating everything in sight, and watching porn. She was like the brother he never had. Except hotter. But still not interested in having sex with him.

"I like the cat." he laid down, resting his face on the carpet. It was so soft. So very very soft. Like laying on a bed of cotton.

"Pepper he likes you Pepper." she said before crawling over to him, the cat bolting away.

She lay down beside him. The smell of pot lingered all over the both of them, and if either walked within 20 miles of a cop they would get busted.

"Want to know a secret?" Betsy asked, rolling over on her stomach and stretching out her arms in front of her.

"Sure." Anthony rested a head on her back. There was a red and black dragon tattooed across her pale skin. He ran his finger ups the scales which appeared to to be moving.

"I...have always had this huge crush on your sister." she whispered, looking around.

"Who hasn't?" Anthony said, tilting his head. The colors on her back were so amazing. They looked like some kind of marvelous candy. He opened his mouth before licking her back.

"It doesn't taste like candy." he frowned.

"I have candyy." she groaned before getting up and stumbling over to her kitchen before falling down on the ground.

Maybe a friendship was better than a girlfriend.

"Everything is looking great so far. Are you guys excited?"

Jodi grasped John's hand and smiled as Kristina cleaned off her stomach, pulling her shirt back down.

"Now, I'm going to tell you this now. When you hit eight months because of the high risk pregnancy you guys will have to stop having sex. And hopefully you weren't planning on flying anywhere anytime soon."

They both looked at each other as soon as she mentioned sex. Jodi knew it had to happen sometime but...she kind of hoped it wouldn't.

"You've got a good one and a half months until you get there though, so don't look so flustered." Kristina chuckled, patting Jodi's hand.

"Thanks." Jodi smiled, sitting up and pulling her sweater back on. John helped her back to her feet.

"The receptionist will set up your next appointment. Great seeing you guys again."

"You too." John grabbed Jodi's hand, pulling her out of the room.

They set up their next appointment, before walking outside to the car, which was parked on te curb. As soon as they got inside Jodi grabbed his arm, her fingers wrapped so tightly he was sure she was going to break it.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I...it just came to me. The names." she turned to him, her eyes wide.

"What names?" John asked, looking at her as though she had just sprouted antlers.

"For our kids." she said.

"Oh...well...shoot."

"Well, for the girls...I was thinking one of them could be Ophelia, after my grandmother and the other Nicolette."

"Nicolette and Ophelia Munch. Huh." John mulled it over. Ophelia was in fact quite unothodox but it was a pretty name. It it really didn't sound _that_ bad.

"Okay, what about the boy?"

"That's easy...John."

"Nah. That'll make him a thrid and guys with roman numerals are just bad in bed. I want my son to be a stag."

Jodi rolled her eyes.

"Fine, you pick a name then. I want John as his middle name though."

"Okay, what about...Alfred." he grinned.

"That's not funny." Jodi glared.

"Okay, it was just a joke calm down." he thought about it. What was in fact the perfect name, that would carry on the traditoin and values his father had. He sat there, thinking about it, before it hit him like a stone wall.

"Andrew." he said.

Elizabeth was awoken by something quite...pleasent.

Trevors lips on her flat stomach, making their way up to her chest.

She smiled as she opened her eyes, trying to blink the sleep out of them. His hair was messy. She had no idea when he had gotten home last night but it was nice to wake up with him.

"Hi." she smiled.

"Happy birthday." he smiled.

As much as she didn't want any attention on her birthday, it was nice to have someone wishing her one.

"Thanks. You don't mind that I'm turning into the crypt-keeper?" she raised her eyebrows.

Trevor laughed loudly, pressing his lips to hers.

"You could look like King Tut's mummy and I wouldn't care. All I want is you."

Elizabeth smiled. Hearing him say those words was really the best birthday present she could have asked for.

"Open your eyes."

Jodi moved her hands away, pushing John into the new rooms for the kids.

It was a miracle how quickly it had gotten done, it truly was. In a matter of hours the rooms had gone from plain and barren to now a lavish place for babies.

"Wow." he grabbed her hand, pulling her inside behind him.

She smiled, putting a ahnd on her stomach and covereing her nose.

The room still smelled strongly of paint, but it was indeed beautiful. The walls were lilac with violet trim. Inside where two matching cribs along with various toys Jodi had bought on their spree, changing tables, shelves full of books, and other thigns.

"Wow...this is...wow that's all I can say. Great job baby."

"Thanks. Wait until you see Andrew's room."

she led him across the hall, opening the door to what would be their little boys room.

Of course she had gone with blue. It was the naturaly color for newborn boys, but it wasn't the decoration scheme that had caught his attention. It was a potrait hanging on the wall.

He walked over slowly. He had not seen the picture in some time now. He didn't even really remember taking it.

It was in front of his old house in Baltimore. He couldn't have been more than twelve. Still a gangly lurch.

Standing next to him was his uncle Andrew. Even in it he could see the signs of insanity.

But it was really was a nice picture.

"Where did you get this?" he asked Jodi.

She smiled bashfully.

"Well, I made quite a few phone calls but I was able to get it from an old friend of yours down in Baltimore."

John grinned, pulling her into his arms and kissing her. He really couldn't have wished for anything better.

"I can't believe Jodi didn't even come to her own mothers birthday party."

Elliot sat down and threw his jacket over his seat before sitting down.

"Well, they have some unresolved issues." Olivia shrugged. As bad as it sounded, she couldn't blame Jodi really. When she thought about it, she wasn't sure if she really could either. While it was true that she knew all about the La Casa Nostra and the consequences, Jodi did not. To someone who had never really dealt with the mob before she could see why Jodi was so upset.

"Unresolved or not, it's just not right."

Olivia started to say something about Elliot's mother but stopped herself. She really didn't feel like getting into another fight right now.

Her attention was drawn as Anthony ran into the squad room, looking around wildly.

"Anthony. What are you doing here?" she asked. He had showed up last night, eyes red as the cherries and clothes wrinkled. You could see he was stoned from about a mile away. It completely repulsed Olivia, but this was different.

"I need to talk to you." he said urgently.

She looked at Elliot, backing away from her desk before grabbing his arm and dragging him upstairs to the lounge.

"Okay, what's going on?" she asked.

"She's missing." he wrung his hands, his eyes bright red.

"What? Who?"

"Betsy. She's gone."

"Wow, you know I just cannot believe I am having the chance to meet you right now."

John shook Sigourney Weaver's hand firmly as she stood in their kitchen, a bottle of wine in hand.

"Well thankyou. Jodi is a wonderful neighbor."

"Thanks so much." Jodi said entering the room, walking over to the woman before hugging her. John wans't even sure he could call her a woman. She was a downright goddess.

She looked incredible to be in her sixties. He found himself unable to speak when he opened trhe front door to see her there.

"Hello so nice to see you again. I thought you'd never come back." she chuckled.

"Well, I decided to take a little well-earned vacation after _Avatar_."

"Understandable. Fantastic job by the way."

"Well thankyou. And I see you're expecting."

"Yes. Triplets."

"Triplets! My! How far along are you?"

"Six months." Jodi smiled.

"Do you know what you're having yet?"

"One boy, two girls. Ophelia, Nicolette, and Andrew."

"Beautiful. Now for me to meet this husband of yours." Sigourney smiled before turning to John.

As soon as she did so Jodi's phone rang. She held up a finger before departing, answering it in the living room.

"This better be improtan I'm busy." she snapped as she saw Anthony's number.

"It is. Betsy's missing."


	5. Tik Tok

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Tik Tok_ by Ke$ha. Shoutout to my reviewer as always. You just keep me going. **

**Tik Tok**

"What?" Jodi snapped angrily as the words came out of her brothers mouth.

"Betsy...she's gone. She's missing."

Jodi stood there for a moment, sitting down on the couch and thinking over what he had just said. Betsy...her Betsy...the Betsy she knew...missing?

Unlikely.

"What the hell do you mean she's missing? How do you even know?"

"I've been with her the past few days. We got really fucked up after moms party last night and I crashed out. When I woke up her entire place was turned upside down and she was gone."

"Did you check the jail yet? Most people you know seem to end up there. If you got that messed up last nigth she probably wandered out and got arrested."

"I'm serious Jo. I think something might have happened to her."

Jodi sighed, leaning back against the couch and putting her sore feet up on the coffee table. She really wasn't in the mood to deal with Anthony's whining as he came down. She knew both he and Betsy used. She disapproved of it completely. With the exception of pot, she naturally frowned upon cocaine and meth, and Betsy was a known crank user. If they got into this themselves, they were just going to have to deal with it.

"Look Ant, I'm sorry, but why don't you come back tomorrow. When you're not stoned." she crossed her arms.

"I'm not stoned!" he argued.

"What? Look at yourself! You're eyes are as red as the fucking devil, and I can see your pupils from a mile away. Not to mention smell you."

He rolled his eyes, sitting down on the couch before resting his head in his hands.

"Jo, please. I've been through a lot of shit already. You know that I wouldn't be coming here to you about this if it wasn't serious. I'm scared for her."

"Since when do you two even talk? You do realize she's a lesbian right?"

"It's not like that-no, I'm not doing this right now. Please. I'm really scared."

Jodi sighed.

"Fine. I'll talk to John about it. Now, if you don't mind, there is an internationally known celebrity in my kitchen. I'm not getting involved in your shit right now. Come back when you get it together."

She spun on her heel, storming back off to the kitchen. Anthony watched her high ponytail bounce as she stomped down the hallway, making her way to the kitchen.

"Everything alright?" John asked as she entered the room.

"Yeah. Everything's fine." Jodi plastered a fake smile on her face before folding her hands and turning to Sigourney.

"So, I made lunch. Dinings room right there if you don't remember. I'll be in there in a second."

"You sure you don't need any help sweetie?" Sigourney asked.

"No! You're our guest. You two just go wait out there I'll have the food out in a minute. There's a bottle of wine on the table. Help yourselves."

Both nodded before departing, leaving Jodi alone in the kitchen with the looming worry that Anthony just might be right.

**TFATFATFATFATFAT**

"OLIVIA!"

Olivia spun around as Anthony came rushing towards her from across the street at her apartment.

"Anthony, how did you get my add-" she started to say but he cut her off swiftly.

"Liv I need your help." he panted, worry written all over his face.

"What? What's going on what's wrong?" she asked.

"Betsy! She's missing!"

"Betsy...the one who planned the wedding?"

"Well, that too. But she's gone!"

"What do you mean she's...okay how about we talk about this inside?"

Anthony put his hands on his head,looking around before following her up the stairs to her apartment.

As soon as she unlocked the door he ran inside rushing to her couch and sitting down before breaking down into tears.

Literal tears. Anthony Stanford. Crying. Unheard of.

Olivia watched him, not quite sure what to do. She sat beside him, putting an arm around him.

"It's all my fault. I was passed out. Drunk and high. When I woke up she was gone."

"...Are you sure she didn't just leave?"

"The entire apartment was turned upside down. And there was blood."

Olivia sighed, standing up.

"You know I have to report this Anthony."

He looked up, squinting his eyes.

"What? No! You can't! If you report this to the police whoever did it will find out."

"...Well, that's the point of telling the police Anthony. So that they can help. If you're worried about the drugs we can handle that."

"Olivia, you don't understand. I think it was the mob who did this. It had to be! There has to be someone in the police department working with them. I know it. Everything that happened before when Jodi was trying to get them out!"

She stopped to think about it. He had stumbled upon something. They had thought about it back when John and Jodi were having all that trouble with them back before the wedding. She knew they had been naïve in thinking it was over now. Anthony was onto something.

"Come with me now. I'm going to talk to Cragen then we'll stop by One PP."

"What? Why?"

"Because I believe you Anthony."

**TFATFATFATFATFAT**

"Now that one is beautiful."

Jodi smiled as showed Sigourney the pictures from the wedding. It really was a pretty picture. Jodi was standing there, smiling pristenely in her gorgeous wedding gown while John stood with his arm around her waist, his lips pressed to her forehead.

"It is one of my favorites." Jodi smiled, turning the page.

John had disappeared somewhere in the house, which Jodi had expected him to do as soon as she pulled out the wedding album. International movie star or not, no man wanted to sit around and gush over wedding photos.

"So sorry I couldn't make it to the wedding. James had me at a luncheon with Zoe and Sam that day to discuss the plans for the sequel and I couldn't get away."

"He's making a sequel?"

"Well, when you have the highest-grossing film in all of history it's to be expected."

"Wow. Well hopefully I'll be on that red carpet for the premiere." Jodi winked.

"Sweetie you don't even need to ask. I thought we sent you an invite when it came out but I didn't see you there."

"Oh, I was a little busy at the time, I did catch it a few days later though. And quite a few times after that. Let me tell you I was literally on the edge of my seat the entire time."

"Hey, baby can we talk?"

Jodi and her guest turned around to find John standing in the doorway to the dining room.

"Excuse me." she smiled to Sigourney before standing up and pulling him into the kitchen.

"What's going on?" she snapped.

"I just got a call from Olivia. She said Betsy was missing."

Jodi rolled her eyes and snorting.

"Yeah Anthony came in here saying that. He's been stoned out of his mind I can tell. I wouldn't be surprised if he called 911 and told them Betsy was one fire."

"No, Jodi you don't understand..." John interuppted her.

"What?"

"They found Betsy. She was raped beaten. Almost killed. They found her in Brooklyn."

"Wait, what? By who?"

"Who do you think?"


	6. Let's Groove

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Let's Groove_ by Earth Wind & Fire. (Possibly the best musical group in all of history.)**

**Let's Groove**

It was as soon as he walked into the bedroom he ran into Jodi with her hands down her panties on the bed, moaning loudly.

He tiptoed across the room slowly. It wasn't like she would even notice, with how loud she was.

Her masturbation time had become quite common now. Running on seven months she had gotten used to being so horny all the time. John turned and looked over at the grandfather clock in the corner. Yup. Four-twenty. Her usual late day masturbation time. She really had been keeping on a tight schedule. One. Three-fifteen. Sex at four if he was there. Four-twenty. Sex at eight. John eating her out at nine-thirty. Sex at ten. Turn into bed early at eleven.

"I can hear you." she sighed, opening her eyes just as he made his way back to the door.

John turned around, his eyes immediately drawn to her large breasts which where out.

He stopped in his tracks, leaning against the wall and putting his stuff down on her dresser. He had been on a case with Fin for the past few days up in Albany, leaving Jodi behind alone. Of course she gave him a fantastic welcome home but he really missed her.

"Come over here." she sat up a little, pulling her hand out.

John walked over, getting into the bed next to her before sliding next o her in the bed.

"Hey there." he rested on his elbow.

"Do you want to watch me?" she asked.

John smirked, putting a hand on her large stomach, before trailing it down. Hell yeah he wanted to watch her.

She slowly moved her hands back down again, putting them inside of her lace panties before rubbing herself, inhaling deeply and tossing back her full mane.

He watched her. Her chest rising and falling heavily. Her face flushing brightly. He put a hand on one of her breasts, feeling her hard nipples beneath his fingers.

"Take off your panties." he whispered into her ear, exctement flooding his body.

Jodi bit her lip, trying not to smile before doing as she was told, although she had some difficultly at her panoramic size now.

Just as she did so John's phone rang.

"Fuck." he muttered before reaching over to grab it and answering it. Jodi sighed, rolling her eyes before sliding her underwear back up.

As she attempted to get out of the bed John grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"Munch." he said quietly, squeezing her hand and urging her to stay.

Jodi rolled her eyes, crossing her legs and sitting up in the bed.

"Hey it's Olivia. Queens P.D. picked up a body this morning. She was raped, stashed the trunk of a 2003 Camero."

"Is the vic alive?"

"Yeah, she is."

"Okay, so I'm guessing you want me to go pick up Fin and check it out?"

"Munch, the victim is Betsy."

**TFA**

Elizabeth watched as Jodi sat outside of Betsy's hospital room. As soon as she had gotten the call from Anthony, she was there without question. Jodi had her head bowed, her hand on her large stomach. She couldnt' help but smile. Amidst all this tragedy there was her daughter, soon to become a mother. A girls greatest dream.

"You alright?" Trevor asked, putting an arm around her.

She sighed, nodding before grabbing his hand and beginning the slow walk down the hall.

She regretted her choice of shoes. The cheap black ballet flats could be heard clear across the other side of the hospital. Her face burned brightly as she saw Jodi look up, her green eyes fixing upon Elizabeth and burning holes in Elizabeth's face.

"Hi..." she said softly, grabbing Trevor's hand.

Jodi loooked up her her, blinking for a moment before nodding her head and looking down.

The door to Betsy's room suddenly opened and John came out, giving a small wave to Trevor and Elizabeth before sitting down next to Jodi and putting an arm around her shoulder.

"Excuse me." Trevor said quietly, opening the door and going inside of Betsy's room. Elizabeth stood there awkwardly, watching as John whispered things into Jodi's ear and rubbed her back. She looked away, watching nurses and docters walk by up and down the hall.

"I'll be back." She suddenly heard John say. He stood up before straightening out his jacket and walkign down the hall. Elizabeth looked at the empty chair beside her daughter before catiously walking over and sitting down.

Much to her surprise Jodi didn't get up and move. In fact, she didn't do much of anything.

"Are you alright?" Elizabeth asked timidly, knowing that the question wouldn't really do her any good.

"No." Jodi replied, her jaw clenching but she remained quiet, not lashing out like she usually did.

"Will she be okay?" Elizabeth inquired.

"They don't know at this point. She could take a turn for the better or the worse."

Elizabeth nodded, looking down at Jodi's stomach.

"How long do you have now?" she tried changing the subject.

"Two months."

"Wow. You guys ready?"

"Is anyone really ever truly ready to bring a new life into this world? Or in my case lives."

Elizabeth smiled. She didn't know where Jodi got her intellect from, but the girl had always been mature beyond her years.

"I guess not."

They then sat in silence, until John came down the hall. Jodi stood up, taking his hand before pushing herself out of the seat and going into the hospital room.

For the first time in a long time, Elizabeth had hope. Hope that maybe things could work out between them.

**TFA**

"Are you sure your boss won't mind?" Jodi asked as John lay beside her on the bed, rubbing her stomach.

"Well of course he minds, but if I don't things just might not get better."

Jodi sighed, putting a hand atop John's.

The doctors promised to keep in contact, and shortly after leaving the hospital as soon as they got outside Jodi passed out. Luckily John had managed to grab Jodi before she hit the ground, before getting her back up into the hospital.

The had released her, after the docter had warned Jodi she needed to start resting more, and do anything to keep from getting stressed. They had done ultrasounds and x-rays, and after determining the babies were fine John had formed an idea.

He had finally decided to take her somewhere. Up until around a week or so before she went into labor. Get away from the city. Away from the stress. Away from the problems. And away from the looming danger they were in after pissing off the italian mafia.

He wasn't sure what he would do at this point if she miscarried. He was 58 years old now. He had a beautiful wife who went against all odds and ended up getting pregnant, with triplits nonetheless. There was no way he could lose the kids. He simply couldn't.

"So where were you thinking of going?" Jodi aked, turning her head.

"I was thinking Baltimore. Back to my old neighborhood maybe. I haven't been there in awhile anyway and I know the place well so if we need a hospital..."

"Well I mean, wouldn't that be obvious? In the event that anyone came looking for us you know."

"I'll be honest, they aren't what I'm really worried about." John sighed, resting his hand on her belly.

"What exactly are you worried about them?"

"You."

"Ah. Well I suppose that's only fair." she sighed, shifting a bit before resting her head on his shoulder.

"How you feeling?" he put a hand on her face.

"Okay." she shrugged.

John leaned down and kissed her.

"Good. Go to sleep I'll get you up in the morning."

**TFA**

Anthony watched as Betsy slept.

At least what he interpreted as sleeping. She still had yet to come out of unconsciousness.

She was so close to bleeding out. Stabbed three times. Raped and sodomized with a knife. Bruises and cuts all over her face. She looked a mess.

They had her on drugs. Morphine. Vicodin. Xanax in case she woke up and started freaking out. He watched as her full chest rose and fell heavily.

This was all his fault. If he had never gotten involved in her life, none of this would have ever happened.

He sat down in a chair in the corner of the room. People had come and gone. Some left flowers and stuffed animals. Others simply squeezed her hand. The more he watched her that day, the more he realized...

It was her.

She was the one.

He was in love with her

She was absolutely everything. He wanted her. Needed her. Why was it when he finally found the one, it was someone so unattainable.

She had told him she had been with men before. Quite some time ago before she realized she was a lesbian. When he asked what she thought she said it wasn't bad, just not her thing.

He wiped his eyes. There was no way in hell he was going to lose her.

**TFA**

Jodi opened her eyes, looking over at John.

"Baby where are we?" she rubbed her eyes, shaking herself out of sleep. After finishing packing in the middle of the night she spent the rest of the early morning hours making phone calls to people. If she was going to be gone until the delivery, the house had to be ready. The nursery was quickly on its way to perfection. A few more days and it would be ready for the kids, but there were still other things to take care of.

"Just entering Jersey." John said from the wheel, turning the music down.

"Shit are you kidding me? I've only been asleep for a half hour?"

"Pretty much. There's pillows in the back just go back to sleep."

"No I can't now. Don't worry about me."

"Jodi the doctor said you have to get rest."

"I know what the doctor said." she snapped.

"Okay no need to jump down my throat." John retorted. True he should have gotten used to the fact that she had raging hormones and mood swings, but he wasn't used to having his own woman talk to him like this.

"I'm not fucking-" Jodi began, put sat back before folding her arms over her chest. John sighed before extending a hand as they rolled up to a red light and putting it on her stomach.

"Hey." he said softly, rubbing her belly.

She looked up at him, her beautiful brows furrowed with stress.

"What?"

He grabbed her face, drawing her near before planting a soft kidd on her lips. As he did so she slowly relaxed, putting a hand on his cheek and slowly pushing her tongue into his mouth.

He grinned, moving down to her neck, nibbling softly. Jodi's lashes fluttered wildly and she gasped.

They were only interuppted from a rude honk behind them. Both looked up to find the light had turned red.

"I think...I'm going to pull over somehwere." John grinned before turning down the dark Jersey street and into the night.

**TFA**

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Harder! Harderrr!" Jodi screamed as the sweat poured down her body.

John grunted, pressing his lips to the back of her neck as he moved inside of her, feeling the slick sweat on her back.

The car moved around them, and Jodi grasped the steering wheel accidentally honking loudly. John put his hands on the roof of the car, feeling her warm body throbbing around him. Jodi herself put her hands on her thighs, gritting her teeth as she felt him inside of her. His hard cock, moving within her.

Maybe bedrest in Baltimore wouldn't be that bad.


	7. Jumpin' Jack Flash

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Jumpin' Jack Flash_ by The Rolling Stones. Sorry for the long wait. I was at band camp. Feels good to be back though. This chapter is going to be...well, not even long enough to be considered a chapter, but it's the onset for the next. I needed a little more tradgedy here so here it is. **

**Jumpin' Jack Flash**

"You know, I'm pretty sure that guy was checking you out. Should I whip out my gun?" John asked Jodi from across the table as they enjoyed a short breakfast, only a few miles outside of Baltimore.

"Baby, I'm nearly seven months pregnant with triplets. It's a miracle you still want to have sex with me. I highly doubt anyone else would."

John put a hand atop hers.

"Don't even play that game you know you're beautiful to me. How are those egg white working out for you?"

"You know, I never realized how unhealthy I ate until now. And of course I intend on keeping it that way. This food has no taste and these vitamins are the size of freaking anvils."

John chuckled.

"Well I'm glad I get to enjoy this nice incredibly fried meal over here."

"Oh shut it. You carry triplets for nine months, exercise and eat a restricted diet, then we'll see who's laughing."

He smiled, noticing the dark circles under her eyes. She hadn't been getting enough rest.

Suddenly, she dropped her fork, his eyes frozen in wide terror.

John turned around, trying to find out what she was looking at, but there was no one there. At least he didn't think there was. Turning back to her, he grabbed her hand.

"Baby you alright?" he asked, watching a red flush creep up her face. With no warning she began panting, and grabbed the table.

"No. No. No. Not now." she moaned, standing up on shaky legs.

As she stood up a loud splatter caught John's attention, and he looked down, noticing the blossoming wet spot on her dress.

"Is that your...?" he trailed off, panic rising.

Jodi grabbed her head, nodding before looking up at him.

"My water just broke." she gasped...


	8. Uprising

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Uprising_ by Muse. **

**Uprising**

"What?" John asked, watching as she bent over, grabbnig the top of the chair. Several onlookers turned around quickly, watching as Jodi began to pant, her hands on her stomach.

"I'm going into labor." she repeated, her face bright red.

John stood there, frozen in comeplete terror for a moment. She was more than two months early and going into labor with triplets. He of all people had seen enough to know what that meant. Not only would it be a premature birth, but the babies would have some kind of problem more than likely, whether it be developmental or heart. It was almost inevitable.

"Okay let's get you to the car." he grabbed her arm, throwing some money onto the table before putting a hand around her waist. As they left a waiter appeared, collecting his money and looking down at the wet spot on the ground. He shrugged before walking away. John stopped, about to say something about the fact that his wifes amniotic fluid was on the ground of a dining establishment but decided against it as she groaned loudly.

As they got to the car he pulled out his phone, trying o remember where the nearest hospital was.

"I don't understand. I did everything right. I took the pills. I ate right. I excerciesed. What did I do?" she wailed, tears and sweat pouring down her face.

He ignored her, trying to remember the number of Johns Hopkins from when he used to live out here. He knew that Johns Hopkins was in fact the closest hospital though, as well as the best in the country.

"Johns Hopkins Medical Center how can I help you?" the receptionist answered after what seemed like a million rings.

"Yeah my wife is going into labor. She's early."

"How early?" the woman sounded bored already.

"About two and a half months."

"Okay, name please?"

"Detective John Munch. I used to work for the Baltimore PD in homicide."

"Mmhmm, okay how far away are you?"

"About twenty miles I think. It doesn't look like there's traffic out here."

"FUCK WILL YOU GET OFF THE PHONE AND START DRIVING!" Jodi screamed, gritting her teeth and tilting back her head in pain.

He turned over the engine, quickly pulling out of the parking spot as his wife screamed beside him in the car.

John hung up, forgetting about the nurse and concentrating on getting to the hospital. Of course it would be hours from now before the babies were born but he needed to get her to the hospital. Now.

Weaving in and out of traffic he cut through several red lights, ignoring the honks beside him. His FOP badge was on his license plate. If any cop even noticed enough to follow him they would be able to spot it.

"Come on sweetie. Take a deep breath for me." he grabbed one of her hands.

Jodi squeezed it, wiping her face while inhaling deeply.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." she repeated, her hand clenching his so hard he could feel the blood stop flowing.

"It's not your fault don't worry everything will be fine." he assured her, secretly not so sure himself.

**TFA**

"Somebody help my wife!" John yelled as soon as they staggered through the doors of the ER.

One of the nurses rushed forward with a wheelchair, and Jodi sat down, her hands on her stomach.

"Detective Munch?"

He turned around as another nurse walked towards him.

"Nancy! Hi!" he exclaimed, momentarily forgetting he was about to have three kids.

"What are you doing here?" the woman asked, light silver streaks in her hair glinting under the hospital lights. He hadn't seen Nancy since he left and went back to New York. It surprised him that she herself was still here. He had always figured she'd be long gone from this place.

"My wife..." he motioned to Jodi, who was giving him possibly the most evil of looks. He glanced down, noticing before putting his hands on the bars of the wheelchair.

"Wife? Oh! Wow! Hi I'm Nancy!" she extended a hand.

"?" Jodi growled, every single word running together as she groaned just as another contraction hit.

"Oh, yes! Catch you later. Good luck!" Nancy waved before another nurse whisked Jodi away.

John followed behind closely, pulling out his phone to text Olivia and let her know.

"How far apart are your contractoins?" the nurse asked.

"Twelve minutes." Jodi breathed.

"Oh you really are having kids. Okay let's get you into a room. Have you been having contractions in the past week?"

"Well I had a few but I just thought I was having spasms in my back or something."

"Okay. Are you the father?" she turned to John.

"Yes." he nodded proudly.

"I take it your staying the whole time then. Even now we still have dads who won't even go into the room when it's time."

"No, I'm staying." he put a hand on Jodi's shoulder.

The nurse nodded and smiled before stopping in front of a room and throwing open the door, before pushing Jodi inside.

"You were smart to call ahead. We actually were able to get her a room and doctor and everything ahead of time."

"I didn't think you would."

"No, when Nancy heard your name she was all ready for this. Okay, honey what's your name?" she looked down at Jodi.

"Jodi." she replied, sweat visible on her browbone and chest already.

"Okay Jodi, think you can get up here?" she pointed to the bed.

Jodi nodded, getting out of the chair before hopping up onto the bed.

"Okay, let's get you out of these clothes and into a gown." she smiled, hitting the bitton to get Jodi's bed up before pulling down the stirrups.

John stepped forward, unzipping the back of her dress and helping her out of it before kissing her on the cheek. She turned her head, giving him a weak smile.

"You're going to be a daddy." she grinned, tearing up again.

"Weird isn't it?" John chuckled before pulling the dress off her legs.

Jodi began removing her underwear and the nurse appeared with a gown. John helped her slide it on before tying it in the back for her.

"Okay Jodi, my name is Ashley. Think you can remember that?" she bared her white teeth in what John presumed was supposed to be a smile.

"I would hope so." Jodi deadpanned, putting up her legs.

Ashley tossed back her blonde hair. The young woman looked more like she should be in an issue of Hustler wearing a Nurse Betty costume than standing here in ill-fitting scrubs.

There was a quick knock on the door and everyone turned around as the doctor walked inside.

"Hello everyone. I'm Dr. Brooks. How you guys doing?"

"Great." John replied sarcastically. As he said it Jodi looked up and smiled. Even premature labor wouldn't stop him from being a wise-ass.

"How far apart are your contractions sweetheart?" he asked, putting down his computer on a nearby desk.

"Twelve minutes."

"Okay, we've got awhile, but not that long. I'm going to check right now and see where you are with dilation. I highly doubt you're anywhere near ready but I'd just like to see where we are hear."

Jodi nodded and he stepped forward before lifting up her gown and taking a look. As he did so John tensed a little. Hell, the man was going to be looking into what most men considered the eye of the devil (yes, that was exactly what childbirth was to him), but he still didn't want him looking at his wife down there.

"Okay we've got a few hours at the least. Now I'll ask you this now, are you going to want an epidural?" he looked up at Jodi.

"Will it hurt the babies?"

"No, but it will hurt you. We inject it directly into the spinal cord."

"Um...I think we'll just go natural then." she pressed her lips together.

"Okay. Congradulations. You guys are on your way to becoming parents."

**TFA**

"How you feeling?" John asked, leaning over and pushing a strand of hair out of Jodi's forhead.

She shook her head, turning her neck and resting her face on the pillow before grabbing John's hand. The past two hours had been spent with increasing contractions, phone calls, and the doctor checking in to see if she had dialated any or not, to which she had .3 centimeters so that they could induce labor.

They had established there was no need for an emergency C-section, so they weren't rushing but they were still trying to quicken the pace up a little and get the babies some care.

"Aside from feeling like I did something wrong? I'm not entirely sure." she shrugged, looking away.

John leaned down and kissed her before putting a hand on her stomach.

"You didn't do anything wrong. These things happen. Besides, you saw the ultrasounds. There's nothing seriously wrong. They'll just have the kids in here for a few days if not a week or so then we get to go back home."

"Shit!" she immediately swore, realizing the rooms were nowhere near ready. This turely wasn't the time.

"Do you need to get to the bathroom?" John asked.

"What? No! Not that shit. I mean...the rooms aren't ready. What are we going to do?"

"Oh...wow you're right. Well I can call the guys at the house and have extra money sent over and hopefully they will agree to work overtime." John shrugged, never one to throw away money like that but this was actually important.

"Hopefully. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck." she swore repeatedly before grimacing as another contraction hit.

They really weren't ready for this.

**TFA**

"WHAT?" Olivia stood up quickly as she checked her phone for the frist time that day, which she had accidently left locked in her desk.

"What?" Elliot asked, throwing his jacket over his own desk.

They had been out investigating Betsy's murder, with no leads of course. Anthony wouldn't let her say anything. He was starting to become more of a nusiance to the case.

"Jodi's water broke!" Olivia exclaimed, lookig up at her partner and best friend.

"Are you serious? Doesn't she have a few more months left?"

"Yeah. Munch texted me a few hours ago. They were just at breakfast and she started getting contractoins."

"Jesus. They get to a hospital?"

"They're at Johns Hopkins now. Where's Cragen I'll see if one of us can get down there."

"Check his office. He might be down at One PP."

Olivia nodded before jogging across the quad room, ignorning the eyes before making her way to the captain's office and banging on the door.

"Something wrong Detective?" he aske,d opening his door.

"Jodi just went into labor. Would you mind if one of us drives down there to the hospital? She's premature."

"That depends. How far did they get."

"They got to Baltimore."

"Let me get this straight Detective. You're asking me if you can drive four miles to get to the hospital to see Jodi give birth when you're working on a case here?" Cragen raised his eyebrow.

"...Yeah." Olivia pursed her lips, hoping he would say yes.

He sighed.

"Fine. You go down, I know Elliot can handle the case by himself. Call us when she delivers. I'll give you a day, then get your ass back up here and find Betsy's rapist."

Olivia nodded and smiled before rushing out of the room and going back to her desk. She grabbed her gun and badge and jacket.

"Where you gong?" Elliot asked.

"Baltimore."

"Cragen said yes?"

"Yeah. I'm going to stop home and change. I'll call you when I'm on the road."

"Alright. See you later." he watched as she left. He and Munch had never become particularly close, but he felt like he did every other time Kathy went into labor. These children were theres. It felt like he was going to be an uncle, which was nice. Hopefully Maureen would wait at least another year or two before having kids. He wanted her to get all the way through college.

He sat down, pulling out his phone and dialing Munch's number. Maybe he could give some of his own advice.

**TFA**

"_Oh god. Oh my god." Jodi wailed, turning her head as she strained, feelign as though every single part of her body was being stretched painfully. _

"_Okay Jodi sweetie you're doing good you're crowning." Dr. Brooks smiled, urging her to push. _

_John squeezed her hand as took a moment, trying to compose herself._

_Nothing in the last few hours compared to this. Nothing compared to what he was feeling right here, right now. She was about to deliver their first child. _

"_Okay, push. Push." he urged her. _

_She closed her eyes, grunting loudly as she pushe with all her strength, trying to ignore the pain and focuse on what was coming out of her. Focus on the fact that she was about to give the gift of life. _

"_Good job. One more time. One-third there." Dr. Brooks patted her shin. _

_With all of her effot she grunted before giving another forceful push, feeling only a semi-peaceful moment of realease as she heard loud crying. _

"_I want to see." she whimpered, extending her hand but Dr. Brooks grabbed her legs. _

"_Come on mommy we're not done yet. Two more." he commanded, dropping his sweet tone. _

"_I can't." she breathed, feeling like she had lot the effort. _

"_You have to. Come one. Push Jodi."_

"_Baby push we're almost there." John whispered in her ear. _

_Blinking the tears out of her eyes she used every muscle in her body, pushign harder than she had the last time. John coaxed her along, wiping the sweat from her forehead and assuring her she was doing well. She was so completey depleted of energy that she felt herself moving in and out. All she was aware of was the straining and pushing._

"_JODI!" the doctor screamed. _

_She opened her eyes, looking around the room. _

"_You need to stay with us there's only one more. Come on."_

_Half-heartedly, she curled her toes, taking a deep breath before pushign again for what seemed like the millionth time, getting the last baby out of her. _

"_Hey dad you want to see?" one of the nurses said. _

_He let go of her hand, walking down and looking down before turning around quickly. _

"_Um...no." he backed up, putting up his hands before turning around and trying to compose himself. _

"_Well fuck you too!" Jodi screamed, giving a final push before sighing, closing her eyes. _

"_Congradulations. You have two girls and a boy." Dr. Brooks smiled. _

"_Please. Please let me hold them." she extended her hands, wanting nothing more than to hold her children. She felt as though nothing else in the world mattered. She felt like all that exsisted and mattered where the three wailing premature infants covered in bodily fluids. _

"_Only for a few seconds. We need to get them cleaned and to incubtion, then you can go visit them after we get you cleaned up. Do you have names?"_

_Jodi nodded, laughing loudly as the small kids were placed in her arms. They couldn't have been more than three pounds each. John appeared beside her, beaming like she had never seen. _

"_He has red hair." he pointed to Andrew. _

"_And Nicolette has my dads eyes." she croaked, tears spilling from her eyes as she turned to her husband._

"_We're parents." she smiled happily. _

"_Yeah." he chuckled, touching his sons forehead. _

"_Okay, let's start getting everyone cleaned up now. You can come down the hall once you're rested." the nurse nodded at Jodi. _

_She lunged forward, grabbing open air as she gave her children away before laying back. _

"_It's okay." John kissed her forehead before resting his atop hers. After 58 years he finally had everything he could possibly want. He had a wife, who he loved more than anything. He had kids, and a son nonetheless. Nothing could have made him happier at this point. _

_Jodi turned her head, feeling completely unable to move. _

"_There's a woman outside to visit when you're all cleaned up." one of the nurses poked her head in. _

"_Who?" John asked. _

"_A Detective Benson I believe?"_

_John looked down at Jodi before squeezing her hand and leaving the room, pulling off his mask and tossing it into the trash can before stepping out into the hall. _

_As soon as he closed the door behind him Jodi looked up at the ceiling. _

"_Thankyou God." she muttered quietly, because she now had everything that mattered. _


	9. Lithium

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _ Lithium _by Evanescence.**

**Lithium**

John sat in a chair at the end of the hall, silently thinking as Olivia sat beside him.

He smiled, unable to get the small faces out of his head. His son. Andrew. His hair was just as red as his mothers, and the girls...well they were more than beautiful.

Jodi was getting cleaned up at the moment, and they were doing the same to the babies. They all weighed three point seven pounds, and would be in the NICU for a bit.

But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, because he was a father. He had three children to call his own. He had three people to love and protect no matter what.

"Do you know how long they'll be here?" Olivia asked, sitting up in her chair.

"The doctors don't know. Probably not that long. They actually don't have jaundice surprisingly."

"Will Jodi be able to breastfeed yet?"

"I don't know we didn't really get that far. I'm just still in shock you know. I mean, all the times I've been married, having kids was just never really something that came up. Jodi wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant either, so it's really a miracle she carried them this long anyway. And they're pretty healthy."

"Do you at least have everything set up at the house?"

John shrugged.

"When she went into labor I called the guys working on the nurseries and told them I'd pay them extra if they could have everything done by next week, because that's the soonest we'd be leaving."

Olivia nodded.

"Well you're kids are healthy. That's all that matters. You're on your way to becoming Elliot soon." she chuckled.

"And have an entire factory of kids running around? I don't think so. Triplets are enough for now." John grinned.

Olivia smiled, looking at the ground before John cleared his throat.

"Liv, I need to ask you something." he spoke up, the thing he and Jodi have been discussing for weeks now coming up.

"What is it?" she sat up, looking concerned.

"Well, Jo and I were talking and...we were trying to figure out who would be the godparents, and your the best chocie for a godmother. Would you like to be the kids godmother?"

Olivia opened her mouth, not quite sure what to say. She had already been legally responsible for someone elses child, and when it came to a medical decision it had been the hardest choice of her life, and still she didn't know if she had done the right thing. Would she be able to do it again?

"I'm fairly sure nothing will ever happen to us, but you never know. Please Liv? Your the only one I trust?"

"I don't know John...are you sure? That's a really big responsibility."

The more she thought about it, the more she realized. Had they not had this ddiscussion, if something had happened to John and Jodi, she would be the one to take them in. Fin didn't have a good record with his son, and El had just too many kids.

"I'm sure, I just need you to say yes..." he trailed off, looking at her hopefully.

Olivia hesitated for a moment, before nodding wordlessly.

"I-I would be honored. Who's the godfather?"

"Well, it was a tough decision but we decided on Fin. I know he screwed up with his son, but I know he's always wanted a second chance, and he would do things much better."

Olivia nodded, understanding his decision before looking up as the doctor came towards them.

"Everything alright?" John asked.

"Yes, I just wanted to tell you Jodi's been all cleaned up and we've got the kids settled in incubation. You can go see them now."

John stood up, taking a deep breath. Next to them the door to Jodi's room opened and she was pushed out in a wheelchair.

John smiled as he saw her. She still looked beautiful, her red hair still matted from sweat and her skin slightly pale.

She turned her head, looking at John and smiling weakly. As Olivia watched she couldn't help but feel a pang of jealously. John now had everything she ever wanted. The way he looked at Jodi, as though she was everything in the world. He now had three kids. She wanted that. She had always.

Elliot had an entire warehouse of kids running around, and as much as they fought there was no denying he and Kathy still loved each other, and always would.

Fin loved his son. She knew that. Despite all their differences and toubles.

Even though Cragen had lost his wife, he still had gotten the chance to love.

So what was with her?

She began to walk down the opposite end of the hall.

"Where are you going?"

She turned around, John grabbing the handles to Jodi's wheelchair.

"I'm going to grab some coffee." she lied.

He nodded.

"Okay, see you later." he waved before pushing Jodi down the hall.

**TFA**

"Hi there." Jodi smiled, pressing Andrew to her chest.

John leaned over, reaching out a hand and touching his sons nose before chuckling.

Andrew twitched, his little chest rising and falling as he slept, his red hair matted across his tiny head.

"You want to hold him daddy?" Jodi asked.

John stood there for a moment, hesitantly.

"Does he know who I am?"

Jodi chuckled.

"He could hear you when he was inside of me."

John extended his hands, shakily before Jodi put their son in his arms.

"Put him close to your chest." she whispered.

He did so, pressing the small newborn to him.

"He's so small." John smiled, looking at what he had made.

"What if he grows up to be a cop like his daddy?"

"What if he's a musician like you?" John grinned.

Jodi smiled again before looking over at the twins, which were in the next two incubators.

Getting out of the wheelchair on shaky legs, she walked over before bending over and picking up Ophelia.

The little girl opened her eyes slowly, staring up at her mother for a moment before closing them again.

"John!" Jodi turned around, beaming from ear to ear.

"What?" he asked.

"She just looked at me."

John stepped over to her, looking down at his daughter and smilign before realizing that Jodi was standing up.

"In the chair. Now." he demanded.

"Sweetie really I'm fine. I'm not paralyzed or anything."

"Chair." he pointed.

Jodi sighed, going and sitting down. It ran in her family. They all had this bizarre temper about wheelchairs. It was one of the things Anthony would not stop complaining about every time the mention of the wedding came up.

Jodi slipped a finger inside of Ophelia's little curled up fist, feeling the small fingers clench around her her own.

"You're so pretty." Jodi smiled, looking at her brown hair. She never knew she could love something so much.

"How's everything going in here?" a nurse asked, walking into the room.

"Great." Jodi smiled. "We couldn't be happier."

**TFA**

"How you doing?"

Anthony looked up, surprised to find his mother as he sat by Betsy's bedside.

He shrugged, looking down at her before letting go of her hand and standing up.

"Well, I've got some good news." she shrugged, lifting her arms to give her son a hug.

"What is it?" Anthony asked, walking into them.

"You're an uncle now." she smiled, putting her hands on his face.

Anthony looked up at his mother, feeling himself forget about the Betsy situation.

"What?" he asked.

"Jodi had the triplets. Trevor just told me." she shrugged.

Anthony turned around before sprinting to the corner of the room, where his phone had been charging. Unlocking it he found he had four missed calls, along with a few text messages from his sister.

Opening a picture message he smiled, looking down at his two nieces and nephews. All three babies were bundled up, scrawny and pink but nevertheless more than adorable. He smiled as the little boy in the center, chuckling at his red hair.

"He's got your hair ma." Anthony grinned, walking over to her and showing her the picture.

She looked down at his iPhone, bending over and feeling her lip quiver as she gazed upon the sight of her grandchildren. She was only in her early forties, and she never thought she would see this day so soon. Not to mention the fact that she had no idea if Jodi would even let her around the kids or not.

John was the one who had called, and trevor picked it up, then delivered the message to her that she was now a grandmother.

She closed her eyes, silently hoping things would work out for the better. She had to see her grandkids. She wouldn't take a no as an answer.


	10. Hey Big Spender

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Hey Big Spender _by Peggy Lee. Sorry for the long wait between updates. I'm back in school now, and have been beyond busy. I mean really, what high school student has homework in every single class and a test during the first week? The answer would be me. On the bright side, I have almost completed the worst four years of your life. **

**Hey Big Spender**

"Welcome home." Jodi smiled, pushing the stroller through the front door of their house.

Two weeks later and they were finally home, back in Manhattan with all three children in tow.

John closed the door behind her, dragging in their luggage before smiling at his wife.

It was safe to see she was a bit chunky now, not having had the chance to lose any of the weight. Both of them had stayed in the NICU the past two weeks and had only left to check on the car, thus Jodi did not have a chance to work off the baby weight. She planned on starting on that the day after they arrived. Not only did she have a stomach now, but all the weight on her felt bizarre. She was always used to having hard and toned muscles, but the weight made her feel like she was in a different body entirely.

All three children were asleep in the three-seater stroller, doing what all newborns did for the first month or so of life. Sleep and poop.

"Well, let's see how they did on the rooms." Jodi said, wearing a humongous hoodie to hide her extra weight and a pair of sweatpants.

John nodded, wanting to say something. She was do uncomfortable with her body that it made him uncomfortable. He wasn't used to seeing her constantly pull down her shirt or step behind him when someone was speaking to them. Usually she paraded her body. It wasn't like she was fat, just a tad bit pudgy.

She pushed the stroller through the living room to the hallway and down, making her way to the nursuries.

The room still smelled like paint, masked through designer plug-in air fresheners.

"Moment of truth." John grumbled before stepping in front of Jodi and opening one of the doors.

They stepped inside, and Jodi smiled. While they had seen the nursery before they left, this time it was completely finished.

The blue paint shone brightly, truly looking like a little boys room, and there were pictures across the room, some of John and Jodi. One of her about two years ago, dancing. There were some of her father. Some of John's parents.

And the one with his uncle Andrew,

She bent down, as she began to unbuckle each of the sleeping children. John couldn't help but roll his eyes. Both of the girls were wearing matching frilly dresses while Andrew had on cargo pants and a stripped shirt. Only his wife would go out this much when dressing their two week old children.

She picked up Andrew, cradling his head gently before carrying him over to the changing table. John leaned up against the door frame.

Almost instantly he had seen the change in her. She had always been mature, but as soon as she held those kids for the first time she became a true mother. She was more serious than he had ever seen and took care of the kids as much as she possibly could.

"Sweetie can you bring me that bag over there?" she pointed to the back of the stroller.

John nodded, grabbing the bag and carrying over the new clothes they had bought in D.C. on their way back.

She dug around, pulling out a blue onesie. Quickly changing him she kept her back to John, her hair in her face.

Andrew stirred, whimpering as his rest was disturbed.

"So, what do you want to do for dinner?"

Jodi hesitated, underessing Andrew and pulling off his diaper before shaking her head.

"Um, why don't you just order yourself a pizza or something?" she said, not looking back at him.

"Uh...okay I suppose? What kind do you want?"

"I'm not eating it." she said shortly, cleaning Andrew as she put a fresh diaper on him and grabbed his onesie.

As she put it on John watched her. She had actually barely spoken to him the past two weeks. Not just him. She had barely spoken to anybody. He didn't know what it was but he was starting to get kind fo worried. He knew the signs of depressoin better than anybody, and it was safe to say she showed them.

Andrew opened his toothless mouth, letting out a small gurgle before moving his tiny arms as he started to cry.

Jodi sighed, snapping his onesie before taking him into her arms, shushing him gently and pressing her lips to his red head.

"Why aren't you eating?" he asked.

"Why does it matter?" Jodi snapped, rubbing Andrew's back as he calmed down and struggling to keep her voice down.

He let out a hiccup before falling back asleep. Jodi carried him to his crib before bending over, setting him down and pulling the blankets up over his tiny body.

She pushed past John, grabbing the stroller before making her way across the hall to the girls room.

John followed her, his hands in his pockets as he readied himself for an explosion. Yes they had been busy with the kdis, but he would appreciate it if she would even look him in the eye when she talked to him. What, did she finally realize that she had married a guy that was more than half her age?

She grabbed Nicolette, feeling her bottom before moving her face and sniffing the little girl and shaking her head, carrying her over to the crib. She had changed her only twenty mintues ago. She shoud have been fine.

Pulling out some pajamas she began stripping their baby girl, and John took a deep breath.

"Jodi what's wrong?" he asked.

"What?" she said blankly, moving back to the stroller and getting Ophelia. She began changing her as well and John watched her.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." she shrugged, looking down at the girls before grabbing Nicolette.

"If you seemed fine do you really think I would be asking?"

"God John, will you just please cool it with all of the questions? Obviously I don't want to talk about it! Is that so difficult to get through your mind?" she shouted.

He opened his mouth to say something but stopped, looking down at his daughter.

Jodi stormed over to the rocking chair in the corner before lifting up her shirt and pulling down her bra. John snorted and backed away.

Walkign across the hall he closed the door behind him before making his way over to the crib and bending down to look at his sleeping son.

"Hey you." he said softly, bending down and picking him up.

Andrew whimpered, turning his head before John moved across to the blue rocking chair and sat down.

Holding his son to his chest he traced his red hair, smiling.

"You know, I really hoped one of you would have your mother's hair."

He watched as Andrew's little chest rose and fell, breathing deeply, his little feet covered in small blue socks.

John continued to watch him. He still couldn't get over the fact that this was his. This was his son. This was something he had made.

Andrew turned his head, gurgling before opening his eyes slightly, looking up at John.

"Hi." John smiled.

**TFA**

Olivia rushed up the front steps to John and Jodi's beautiful home, Anthony not trailing far behind. It was the first time she had seen him out of the hospital since Betsy had been admitted.

While she had awoken, Betsy was in no form to talk to anyone, not that she would have if she could anyway.

She had seemed somewhat happy to see Anthony there though.

Olivia raised a hand before ringing the doorbell.

"Have you talked to your sister yet?" she asked, looking back at him.

"Just once or twice. I haven't had my phone on in the hospital." Anthony shrugged, lying smoothly.

In all honestly he had spent his time in the bathroom of Betsy's hospital room, making phone calls, getting names,

Finding out who the fuck had done this to her.

Jodi opened the door, holding one of the girls in her arms.

"Hi." she smiled as she caught sight of Olivia and her brother.

"Hi Jodi!" Olivia exclaimed, stepping forward carefully and giving her a hug. "Is this one of the twins?" she asked.

"Yes, this here is Ophelia. The other two are in the living room." she smiled, looking down at Ophelia was was asleep, her head on her mothers chest.

"This is for you." Anthony muttered quietly, holding out the wrapped box he and Olivia had bought together.

"Elliot actually picked it out, since he has more experience. I hope you like it." Olivia smiled.

"Thanks so much. Do you guys want something to drink? I know John is around here somehwere."

She turned around, leading them into the living room where a basket of linens sat on the couch along with the other two kids, asleep in their carriers.

She sat down on the couch before shifting and pushing the basket over before motioning for Anthony and Olivia to come join her.

Olivia did immediately, sitting down on the couch beside her while Anthony hesitated, standing by the doorway to the living room and looking around.

"Wow. They're all so beautiful." Olivia smiled.

"Thanks. Do you want to hold Ophelia? She just went to sleep."

Olivia paued before nodding, sticking out her hands.

Jodi carefully passed over the small baby, and Olivia looked down at her, smiling as she gazed upon her matted black hair.

"Well, we know this hair came from John." Olivia chuckled.

"Yes." Jodi smiled before looking up at her brother. He was watching them, a peculiar look on his face and his hands in his pockets.

"You're not giong to sit down with us?" Jodi asked.

Anthony shrugged silently, walking over to one of the recliners and sitting down across from them, barely looking down at his nieces and nephew. Jodi silentlyl questioned him before rolling her eyes and giving up.

Beneath them Andrew began to stir, opening his eyes slowly and looking around. Jodi smiled, bending over and picking him up before kissing one of his plump cheeks.

"You're awake now." she smiled.

He stared directly up at her, his eyes focusing intensly.

"He has your hair." Olivia giggled, feeling like an adolescent girl for some reason.

"Yeah. He wanted to see what company we had didn't you sweetie." Jodi smiled proudly, practically glowing.

"Have they been awake much this week?"

"It's been happening gradually. Andrew stays awake more than the others. He'll open his eyes and just stare for awhile until he goes back to sleep."

"Wow. You look great too by the way. I mean you were huge before now I can barely tell you had a baby. Let alone triplets." Olivia commented.

"Well, I'm working on losing the weight." she shrugged, feeling Andrew twitch beneath her. As she looked at him even now she could see some of his fathers features.

"You're so handsome just like your daddy." she giggled.

Olivia couldn't help but smile. John Munch was a good looking man, although none of them ever expected the woman he finally settled down with would be not even twenty years old. Let alone have triplets.

And still, as she held little Ophelia it felt so right, and she couldn't help but wish she could have the same thing.


	11. Jump

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Jump_ by Van Halen. Those two new episodes of SVU last week were so intense. I couldn't quite handle them. Sorry for the eternities between updates. **

**Jump**

"Hi my princess." Jodi smiled, leaning over and grabbing Nicolette.

The baby whimpered, looking up at her mother wildly before opening her mouth, getting ready for her meal.

Jodi sighed, moving to the rocking char in the room and pulling off the sports bra she had been wearing.

Up at four. The first night the kids had slept past one in the morning. Out jogging for two hours. Yoga for half. Now feeding time. When she wasn't with the babies she was working outt. Besides being uncomfortable with her body, she also realized that she would be starting her first semester at Juilliard soon. She couldn't be this big in ballet class. That simply would not do.

She winced, her breasts more than tender.

She and John hadn't had sex in what seemed like eons now.

Closing her eyes she tilted her head back, sighing as a powerful wave of fatique rushed over her body. She was exhausted. Beyond exhausted. She felt dead.

"How long have you been up?"

She jumped, causing Nicolette to bite down on her nipple.

"FUCK!" she screamed, her face coloring as the pain flooded her entire body. Nicolette whimpered, her small face wrinkling as she became upset.

She began to cry and Jodi pulled her closer, rocking her gently.

"Shhh." she muttered, kissing her forhead before looking up at John.

"Sorry." he sighed.

She nodded, coaxing her daughter back into sleep.

John leaned against the doorframe, before stepping inside.

"So...you want to order in tonight?"

"You go ahead." she shrugged.

"Jodi!" he exclaimed.

"I'm not doing this with you again John. Just go order your food. Go out. Whatever okay? I'll see you later."

She only heard his footsteps retreat and closed her eyes, strugglign to fight the tears before shaking her head. What she couldn't give to turn back time.

**TFA**

"Munch, what the hell are you doing here?"

John looked up to find Elliot walking towards his desk in the squad room.

"Getting out of the house." he shrugged truthfully before looking back down at the stack of papers on his desk.

"Already sick of the kids?" Elliot raised an eyebrow.

"Not the kids. Jodi. She's turned into a fucking nutcase."

Elliot chuckled, sitting on the edge of John's desk.

"Welcome to the married life. You two arguing or something?"

"I actually would prefer we were. She avoids me like The Plague. Actually she avoids everything. The only thing she does is work out and lock herself in the nurseries."

"You two still sleeping in the same bed?"

"Well, I'm usually asleep by the time she gets up there and when I wake up she's gone. I haven't even touched her in weeks."

"Well, what's she acting like? She depressed? I know Kathy went through a little depression after Dickie."

"I don't know what to call it really. All I know is she's obsessed with her weight. She barely eats. I've found diet shit all over the house. I see her working out more than breathing, and she's been wearing clothes big enough for a Big Mac addict."

"Lot of women go through that. Believe me, I've listened to Kathy talk about her friends. Just let her do her thing. If it seems like she's starting to get unhealthy, talk to her. In the meantime, why don't you talk to Haung?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Thanks Elliot."

"Anytime man. You need to talk just come find me." Elliot shrugged before slapping him on the shoulder and walking away.

As he did so John turned, watching Olivia run into the room like she was on fire.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"New case. We've got a little girl missing. Mom said their first daughter got abducted and this is the second time."

John stood up, grabbing his keys from his desk. Maybe this could get his mind off things at home.

**TFA**

"You know, I'm thinking you and me are going to take a little trip someday. The twoof us through Manhatten. I'll show you the ropes."

"Anthony, if you're talking about taking my son out at night to find hookers get the fuck out of my house."

"I said when he's older!" Anthony exclaimed.

"Yeah but he's not even two months old now!"

Anthony rolled his eyes, looking down at his nephew again before glancing up at his sister, who was doing possibly the most intense and painful looking aerobics he had ever seen.

"What the hell are you doing over there?" he asked, watching as she jogged in place with her knees reaching her chest, meanwhile lifting a set of weights.

"Workout." she panted, her body drenched with sweat.

"Uh, yeah I can see that. You've been doing that since I got here and you look like you're going to pass out. Why are you going so hard?"

"Gotta lose the baby weight." she wheezed, before grunting as she dipping into a series of painful-looking squats.

"Everytime I call or come over you're working out. Why are you going so hard? You're body doesn't look that bad."

"Thanks but that was actually kind of creepy. Please don't ever make any references to my body again."

"What, you haven't seen _The Dreamers_?"

She chuckled, for the first time he had heard before stopping with the program, bending over and taking a breather.

"Excuse me." she said in a strangled voice before rushign out of the room.

As she did so he heard her retch violently down the hall, a sound that echoed throughout the high cielings.

Anthony curled his upper lip in disgust, before looking down at his nephew.

"Hey little man." he grinned as he found Andrew staring up at him, his eyes wide.

He opened his toothless mouth, making a small sound before closing it again, still staring up at Anthony.

Anthony chuckled, taking off his little hat and revealing is head full of red hair.

He was wearing a dark blue onesie, his little legs stretched out.

"If he starts getting fussy let me know so I can feed him." Jodi re-entered the room, taking a large swig from a bottle of Gatorade.

She made her way back tot he center of the room, setting the drink down before grabbing her weights, coming back just in time for the excersice to start again.

"What the fuck? You just puked your guts out why aren't you sitting down?"

"Trying to lose weight. And stop swearing in front of Andrew." she said, not even turning around to look at him.

He rolled his eyes, glancing down at Andrew who's large eyes were fixated on his shirt.

"Hey, he likes my shirt!" Anthony exclaimed.

"That's because he wants to burn it. You're wearing an Ed Hardy shirt. It's almost September of 2010. That's just embaressing Ant."

"You know you love it."

"Wrong. I say that with the biggest possible hastag Twitter can find." she didn't even bother turning around.

"Why do you even have a Twitter? That's just the dumbest thing I've ever heard of."

"Says the guy who still tells people to contact him on MySpace. Hows Bets doing by the way?"

"Okay." he replied, his voice suddenly dropping an octave.

She hadn't taken a turn for the worse, but she was still in pretty bad shape, and refused to tell them who had done it to her. It was really more frustrating than anything.

"Don't worry Ant. She'll be okay."

**TFA**

"There." Elizabeth said as she straightened a picture of her three grandchildren out on the dresser by her bed.

"You know, I've been meaning to talk to you about something." Trevor cleared his throat, sitting down on the bed as he watched her.

"Hm?" she asked, turning and smiling, more cheerful than he had ever seen.

"I was going to tell you, it might not be a good idea to rearrange the bedroom like you wanted to."

"Why?" Elizabeth asked, turning and raising her straight eyebrows.

"Because...I was wondering if you wanted to move in with me."


	12. Lay All Your Love On Me

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Lay All Your Love On Me _by ABBA. **

**Lay All Your Love On Me**

"Hey there."

John felt hands over his eyes. He pushed Jodi's arms away, looking up at her from his plate of wings. Well this was a first. She was actually initiating a conversation with him?

"Hi?" he said cautiously.

She put her hands on her hips, wearing a tight tank and the worlds shortest shorts.

"Oh?" he raised his eyebrows, his eyes movign up and down her body, which she had really revealed for the first time in a month.

There was more of a curve to her sides and hips, but she wasn't much bigger than she was before.

"So...I'm back down to my original weight. How about you meet me in the bedroom?"

John turned around, looking back down at his wings before taking a swig from his Bud and clearing his throat.

"No thanks." he shrugged, not even bothering to look back at her.

Jodi hesitaed before responding.

"What?" her voice quivered.

"No thanks. I'm fine."

There was no sound before he heard a loud crash behind him. Turning around quickly he looked to find a shattered plate on the ground between her feet.

She stared at him, her eyes brimming with tears.

Before John could even say anything else she stormed out of the room, leaving him there do deal with the mess he had just made.

**TFA**

"You alright man?"

Anthony Sr. looked up, grasping the picture of his grandchildren tightly before nodding silently, not trusting himself to speak.

"Well, Warden wants to see you."

"Why?"

Teddy shrugged.

Anthony sighed, scooting back from the small table he had been sitting at then standing up. As he did so he couldn't help but glance down at the daily reminder of where he was. The orange jumpsuit that gave him constant reassurance of where he was. That he would never be free.

Well, that wasn't true. His release date was coming up within the next few years, but that truly seemed like an eternity. Especially considering the fact that he had missed one of the most important moments of his daughters life. It was by the grace of God he had gotten to go to the wedding. There was no way he could ask to see his grandchildren. He was a convicted murderer. Favors like that only game by once in a lifetime.

He looked around, his eyes traveling over a group of inmates laughing raucously in the corner. For some being in here was just like being anywhere else. The only difference between this and a sports bar were the living arrangements and lack of alcohol. Other than that they had a good old time.

But not him.

He knew he was being punished, and for that he had to accept responsibility.

"Where you headed Stanford?"

He looked up as one of the guards walked down the hall towards him, eyeing the group catiously.

"Warden wants to see me." he shrugged.

The guard nodded.

"Hey, I heard about your daughter by the way. Congradulations, you must be proud."

"Proud as I can be from in here." he shrugged.

"Don't worry man. Half the officers here are pushing for your early release. You'll be out soon." the guard patted his back before grabbing his nightstick.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he yelled at the group in the corner.

Anthony tropped on. Even if he did get out soon it wasn't like he was going to have the fun easy life after that. He would be branded a criminal. Even if his actions had been justifiable.

But it was his fault, and he took all responsibility.

**TFA**

"Oh now look at her. She is absolutely precious."

Jodi smiled as she sipped her tea, watching her "friends" fawn over her children. In the corner her friend Tessa's son Aaron sat on the floor, playing with a truck.

Ophelia squirmed, turning her head and watching all the women bent over her. Nicolette was asleep beside her, and Andrew was sitting in Jodi's arms after she patted his back after a feeding. He really was more spoiled than anything. He generally got the most attention and Jodi had bought him more things than the twins combined.

He burped, whimpering before Jodi looked down, smiling and pressing her lips to his head of red hair. She pulled his warm body to hers, feeling nothing but overwhelming love for him. They were all she cared about.

Andrew rested his head in her chest, settling back off to sleep like he spent most of his time doing.

Of course there was a person missing from all of this. The most important person. Betsy. She should have been there. She should have been on the couch, cacklign wildly as she watched all of those trust-fund bitches make baby faces and coo wildly. She should have been exchanging glances with Jodi as the two silently shared jokes.

But she wasn't.

Jodi sighed, trying to hold back tears for a moment. She had been so occupied with the kids she hadn't even been able to make a trip up to the hospital to see her best friend.

From what she was heard she was doing pretty well, but she was afraid for lack of better words. The police were bombarding her for information that she refused to answer, knowing full well what it would get her.

She looked up suddenly as she heard the front door slam. Looking from the room she saw John open the door, stepping inside. His eyes met hers and he took of his coat without a word before walking down the hall towards the kitchen for his usual after-work beer.

Jodi sighed. They hadn't spoken since the fight. If she could really even call it a fight. More of him just ignoring her for unexplained reasons.

She had spent so much time getting back into shape, working out like crazy and pretty much starving herself for him, and what did he give her in return? Not so much as a catcall.

She jumped, looking down as Nicolette began to cry loudly. Her face turned red and Ophelia fidgeted, just about to do the same.

Jodi moved to put Andrew down but he suddenly awoke, clinging to her sweater fiercly.

"Come on sweetie, I need to feed your sister." she said gently, trying to pry him from her but his face scrunched, preparing to cry.

Jodi sighed, her friends moving forward to help but she stopped them. At this age she wasn't comfortable with anyone else touching her kids.

"Someone please get John." she sighed.

Before anyone even got up he appeared in the room, hearig the children cry down the hall.

"What's going on?" he asked, barely looking at her.

"Feeding." she sighed.

He nodded, walking over and ignoring the girls before taking Andrew off her hands and leaving the room with him.

Jodi pulled Nicolette up, grabbing an already prepared bottle and giving it to Nicolette.

Almost instantly she settled down, sucking wildly and looking up at her mother.

Jodi couldn't help but smile. No matter what was wrong in her life, getting one look from her children really did make it all better.

**TFA**

"So much for that."

Elizabeth giggled, putting her legs across Trevor's lap.

They hadn't even really began to move yet. All of Elizabeth's things were packed in boxes around the hotel room, and Trevor had barely even set foot in the door before they both ended up naked on the couch.

"Eventually we will have to actually start moving things. This is nice though." Trevor grinned, looking down at her.

"That it is." Elizabeth smiled up at him, pushign a handful of her red hair behind her head.

Trevor grabbed a handful, staring at her as though she were some sort of once-in-a-lifetime phenoman.

"What?" she asked.

"I just love your hair when it's like this. You know, after we have sex."

"My hair is terrible!" she exclaimed.

"No, it's gorgeous. Sexy."

"You liar." Elizabeth grinned, leaning forward and kissing him. Her hair was a sweaty tangled mess on top of her head. There was absolutely no way that it was sexy. She loved how sweet he was about everything though.

"Why are you so sweet?" she asked.

"Because I love you."

As he said the words Elizabeth sat completely still, not having heard the words in so long.

"W-what?" she stammered, looking up at him.

"Elizabeth Lynn Stanford...I love you."

**TFA**

John looked over at Jodi as she slept, her body having absolutely no contact with his.

He then glanced down at the hard bulge in his pants. He had just awoken horny as hell, and the answer was sitting right next to him.

"Jodi?" he whispered.

They hadn't spoken in two days. More like awkwardly running around each other. There were brief exchanges of one-word sentences, hand-offs of the children, and flinting glances.

He moved over, shaking her gently.

"Whaat?" she groaned, not opening her eyes.

"Hey." he mumbled, moving a hand and grasping one of her breasts, still large from breastfeading. She now looked like Lisa Ann except with tits about two sizes bigger.

She smacked his hand away, turning on her side.

"C'mon." he coaxed, moving over and spooning with her, letting her feel how hard she was.

She made an undescribeable sound before rolling out of the bed, standing up and turning on one of the lamps next to the bed.

"What the fuck are you doing?" she asked, rubbing her eyes, her red hair piled in a mess on top of her head.

"Touching my wife?" he shrugged.

"What, so you can not talk to me for about a fucking week and then expect me to just have sex with you?" she snapped, narrowing her green eyes.

"You're the one who fucking went off the deep end because I wouldn't have sex with you the other day?"

She opened her mouth, crossing her arms over her large chest before shaking her head. Walking across the room she opened the double doors to her closet, slamming them and disappearing inside.

"What the fuck?" John muttered, getting out of the bed and grabbing his glasses before stormign across the room. As soon as he opened the doors she emerged, wearing a hoodie and a pair of Juicy sweats.

She grabbed her car keys, pushing past him.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Don't worry about it. Bottles in the fridge." she snapped before grabbing her own glasses and slamming the door behind her, leaving John alone in the room.

He looked down, still hard and sighed. Fuck this.

**TFA**

"Remember the time we left took all those male enhancement fliers and plastered them across Mr. Hewings' room?"

Betsy nodded, laughing loudly along with Jodi before turnign and grabbing her friends hand.

"Jo, why are you here?" she asked.

Jodi's smile disappeared from her face, and she narrowed her eyes through her glasses.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

After leaving the house she had all but sped tot he hospital, going to find the one person she could tell anything to. She almost had to bribe the nurse into letting her in but she finally made her way in.

"It's two in the morning. You have three kids that aren't even a month old. From what I've been told you haven't even been out the house in the past few weeks. You're not wearing contacts, which you told me you always do because of John. Obviously you don't care anymore. So what's going on?"

"Uh...visiting my best friend who's in the hospital?" Jodi shrugged.

"At two in the morning? You're a good liar but your logic sucks. You and the old man fighting or something?"

Jodi sighed, dropping Betsy's hand before bringing her knees to her chest.

"Nothing we're just...I dunno. I can't say we're really fighting. We're just..."

"Fighting?" Betsy raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah I suppose. We've barely even talked to each other in the past few weeks let alone days."

"Tell me everything."


	13. Green Light

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Green Light _by John Legend feat. Andre 3000. Hey, if you haven't checked out Law & Order: Los Angeles, you should totally do so. I've never been a fan of the regular Law & Order, so I was skeptical at first, but I absolutely LOVE it. It's absolutely great. Check it out! Sorry it took me so long. I started this two weeks ago. My power cord shorted out, and I finally just got a new one. **

**Green Light**

Jodi opened the door to her home quietly, sighing as she crept in.

The minute she closed the door behing her John rushed down the stairs, looking more worried than anything she had ever seen. Automatically her entire body suddenly went cold as she prayed nothing was wrong with the kids.

"Is something-" she began but he stopped her, putting his arms around her.

"I'm so sorry." John began, putting his hands on her face tenderly and leaning in quickly, sweeping her into a passionate kiss.

"Wait wait, what about the kids? Is everything alright?" Jodi asked, pulling away quickly and searching his face.

"What? Yeah." John replied, looking at her like she was disturbed.

"Oh, I just...nevermind." she shrugged before standing there in his arms awkwardly. So where did this leave them?

"Hey, how about we go upstairs?" he whispered in her ear, anwering her question for her.

Jodi looked at him before smiling and pressing her lips to his. So balance had finally been restored to the universe. Well, their universe at least.

* * *

John ran his fingers across Jodi's bare shoulder, smiling as she giggled beneath him.

"I could see a tattoo here." he grinned, before leaning over and kissing the spot.

Miraculously the kids had stayed asleep the last two hours, leaving them both free to have much-needed and anticipated make-up sex. Yes, it was explosive. It was passionate. It was incredible. They both wanted to do it again.

But neither had the energy to. They were parents. Simple as that.

"Of what?" Jodi smiled, her long lashes brushing her arm.

"I don't know...it would be a surprise." John whispered, pressing his lip to her soft skin again before rolling on his back.

"John?" Jodi suddenly said.

He looked over at her, raising his eyebrows.

"What's up?"

"It's almost our seven month anniversary."

As she said the words he opened his mouth. Neither of them had really ever acknowledged their monthly wedding anniversary period. It wasn't that they didn't want to, but with the exception of Jodi's pregnancy it really felt like they had only gotten married yesterday.

"You're right. We've been married over half a year." John grabbed one of her hands, lacing their fingers.

"I love you." she whispered, leaning in closer.

"I love you too." John smiled before kissing her hand.

They both looked into each others eyes and leaned in for a kiss. Right when the moment was at its finest, there was an explosion of sound from the baby monitor next to Jodi's bed.

She turned her head, looking at it as a high-pitched cry came from within. Jodi looked over at the clock in the corner and sighed.

"Feeding time." she shrugged before pulling herself out of the bed.

John watched her, his eyes glued to her ass. The sheets smelled like her. His wife. Of seven months.

He looked over at the clock. He had to get to work in a few hours. He had been up all night, there was really no point in him going to sleep now.

Getting up, he walked across the room to the computer before sitting down.

An anniversary present was in order.

* * *

"Sadie what are you doing?" Jodi grunted as she opened her eyes to discover the dog on her face.

The dog whimpered, and Jodi rolled her eyes before grabbing her and setting her in John's empty space.

She turned and looked over at the clock. It was eight, meaning John had left about an hour ago.

She sat up, stretching out before grabbing the little dog and pulling it to her chest.

"Hey there." she smiled.

The kids had only woken her up once during the night, slowly sleeping more and more through the entire night.

Sadie licked her face, before snuggling up beneath her chin.

"Morning to you too girl. You want to go see your sisters and brother?" Jodi asked, before slipping out of bed.

For the first time in so long she felt great. More than great. She was beginning to feel more and more like herself.

She put on her robe. As she crossed the room she saw and envelope on her dresser.

"What's this?" she whispered before grabbing it and walking back to the bed, looking at the Juilliard seal.

Yes, things were definitely looking up.

* * *

"Hey." John walked into the living room to find Jodi playing with Andrew. He was in his chair, staring raptly at his mother through wide eyes.

Jodi smiled, shaking the monkey from Yo Gabba Gabba in front of him. John had barely been home the past few days, and had evidently missed the fact that Andrew was doing more than sleeping.

"When did that start happening?" John asked, setting a stack of folders down on the coffee table and glancing up at the TV where _Sex and the City_ was blaring.

"Today. I just set a toy in his chair with him and came back with a bottle and he was playing with it." Jodi shrugged, before standing up and walking over to John.

She kissed him forcefully, unspoken passion in her lips before pulling back. John raised his eyebrows. He knew that look.

"Later." he murmered, his lips brushing her forehead before looking down at Andrew, who was staring at his stuffed monkey intensly.

"I got a letter from Juilliard today." Jodi suddenly spoke up.

"That's good. About what?"

"Believe it or not I start in a couple weeks." she bit her lip.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. You get stuck with morning classes?"

"Sadly, but I get done a two every day. That's actually pretty good for a performing arts school."

"What all are taking?" John asked.

"Too much. Dance. Drama. Everything expected for freshmen. I did get in though. That sure as heck has to say something."

John nodded, brushing a lock of hair out of her face before looking down at his son.

"I was thinking of taking him out." John said, turning to Jodi.

"Where?" she asked.

"Work. Cap hasn't seen him yet."

"If my son comes back into this house with rape as his first memory so help me God I will hurt you." Jodi put her hands on her hips before looking down at Andrew.

His eyes widneded, and he looked back and forth before opening his mouth in a toothless smile.

Jodi sat up, turning to John.

"Did you see that? He just smiled. OH MY GOD JOHN HE JUST SMILED! GET THE CAMERA!" she screamed, jumping up and down.

"I think it was more of a twitch." Johm mumbled, turning to Jodi.

"Get. The camera." Jodi gritted her teeth.

John didn't need to be told twice. He ducked out of the room before going to find the video camera.

Jodi bent down, swooping her son up before pressing her lips to his soft cheek.

He gurgled again and she looked down, her entire body almost leaping as she saw the smile cross his face.

"I love you so much." she whispered, pressing his body against hers.

They shared a tender moment, before she was overcome with a wave of smell.

"So that's why you were smiling." Jodi pulled away, turning her head.

All part of the job.

* * *

"Look at you, your first day at school."

"Fuck you." Jodi rolled her eyes, giggling as she moved across the kitchen.

She felt John's eyes on her as she hovered over the stove before bringing the frying pan over to the kitchen table.

"I suppose that means 'I love you?'" John raised his eyebrows.

Jodi shoveled several pieces of french toast onto his plate before spinning on her heel and walking over to the sink to deposit the dishes.

"All the bottles are in the fridge, Andrew likes to play but the girls still sleep a lot. If you get called out to work Anita is out picking up groceries, she should be back in an hour. I'll be home around four, I have to leave now if I want to get there a little early." she turned around, walking over to the table.

"I love you." John said quietly.

She smiled, leaning down and kissing him softly before looking over at Andrew, looking around the room wildly, his red hair a mess.

"Hey sweetie. Mommy will be back home in a little bit." she said, pressing her lips to his forehead. This would really be the first time she would be away from them so long, and the thought made her feel as though she was going to hyperventilate.

Andrew moved one of his hands, touching her face. She smiled, kissing him again before standing up.

"See you." she looked over at John and shrugged before picking up her bag and making her way out of the kitchen.

* * *

"Jesus Christ." Jodi gapsed, falling flat on the ground and clutching her feet as soon as her instructor called for a break. Her first day and she already had bloody toes.

"You haven't danced in awhile have you?" a girl asked, sitting down beside her. She pulled off her flats revealing heavily bandaged feet.

"No not really. I mean I get in maybe an hour a day but that's it. I just had three kids I've been trying to find the time." she shrugged, biting her lip as she tried to ignore the throbbing pain in her toes.

"Three kids? Jesus. How old are you?"

"19."

"Well then...and judging by that rock on your finger you're obviously married to someone wealthy."

Jodi smiled, turning to the young woman.

"I wouldn't really say so."

"Wow. Well, I'm Renee." she said, extending a hand.

Jodi took her pale hand, smiling and shaking it firmly. This had been the first person to reach out to her since class had started hours ago.

"Jodi." she grinned, before grabbing a bottle of water and chugging it.

* * *

"Rough day?" John asked as soon as he opened the door to their bedroom to find Jodi splayed across the bed, looking like a stiff monkey. Her feet were wrapped in guaze and ace bandages, her entire body tense.

"Don't even ask." she growled, turning her head as he dropped his suitcase and and took off his jacket.

John kicked off his shoes before falling into bed beside her. She grunted as he moved her leg, before putting his harms around her.

"How you feeling?" he asked into her ear, all of his own personal work-related stresses pushed to the back of his mind.

"Like that cave troll from _Lord of the Rings_ attacked me with his club." she sighed, turning her head and resting it on his shoulder.

"How about I kiss it and make it better?" John whispered lustily.

"Um...how about we just stay here like this." she smiled weakly, looking up and pressing her lips to his.

He chuckled and settled in closer beside her.

This was still better than anything.

* * *

"I swear to God if you push me out of this chair I will turn around and rip your balls off." Betsy said as Anthony sprinted down the hallway with her in a wheelchair.

"Relax." he said, rolling up in front of her door.

She pulled out her key, giving it to him.

"Ready to be back home?" he asked.

"Fuck yes. Now hurry the fuck up I want to get in my bed." Betsy said, looking up at him.

He mumbled something, before unlocking the door and stepping inside.

"Woah." he muttered.

Inside was a complete state of disarray. Someone had been here. Then question was...were they still there?


	14. I Smell A Rat

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _I Smell A Rat _by Big Mama Thorton.**

**I Smell A Rat**

"Hey."

Jodi turned her head as she felt John squeeze her waist. She was drugged up on multiple things to fight the pain, including sleeping pills and felt as though she was swimming.

"Hm?" she groaned, her hand landing atop his.

He said nothing, only pressed his lips to the back of her shoulder and pressing himself up against her.

Even through the haze of drugs she could feel the hard bulge against her backside.

His lips moved to her bare arm, kissing down softly.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I want you." he whispered.

"John I'm so hopped up on painkillers and vodka I can't even see straight."

John said nothing, only running his hands up her newly-toned body.

He kissed her neck persistently, nibbling at the skin eagerly.

"I'm not moving. I'm not moaning. I'm not doing anything."

John's hands fell limp and he sighed before sitting up and getting out of the bed, leaving a barely conscious Jodi behind. She silently prayed the kids would keep sleeping through the night until the drugs worked their way out of her system.

She retreated to her pillow, opening an eye and looking at the clock. It was eleven now, the earliest she had been to bed in awhile. Up at seven in the morning to start all over again. All for the sake of her passion.

* * *

"Hey."

John looked up at Jodi, glaring shortly before going back to his tie.

"What's wrong?" she asked, grabbing a hair-tie from the bathroom sink and putting her hair up in a severe bun.

"Nothing." John mumbled, looking at her reflection in the mirror. She was clad head to toe in black. Black sleeveless tank. Black cardigan. Black tights. Black flip-flops. Even with her curves she did look like quite the ballerina.

He was actually more upset than he thought about last night. It seemed now that it was a rare occasion that they had sex, and the fact that she drove him off did nothing more than frustrate him. He had needs too.

"I know you're lying. What's wrong?" Jodi asked, sitting down beside him.

John said nothing, looking down at his cip of coffee before standing up.

"What the fuck John? I don't fucking care, we have kids now. We can't have sex every five seconds like we used to. I have school and you have work." Jodi snapped, standing up and storming out of the room.

John didn't try and defend himself, only muttered something silently as he fumed.

He sighed, standing up and straightening out his shirt. Perhaps work could take his mind off things.

* * *

"Jodi fidgeted heavily as she watched several of the other girls smoking on the sidewalk. What she would give for a cigarette, but she was trying to hold off until the kids switched to formula.

It wasn't until she wanted one this much that she realized how addicting nicotine really was. She had always been a social smoker but with the stress she wanted a cigarette more than anything.

She held her breath as she stepped past the plumes of smoke on her way to rehersal, doing everything she could not to breath in the heavenly scent. The girls paid no mind to her as she rushed up the steps before throwing open the door and sighing.

She made her way down the busy hall, already well on her way to memorizing her way around on her second day. She was so focused she didn't hear the footsteps behind her.

"I can't stand the smell either."

She jumped, turning around to find a tall young man behind her, unruly hair in need of a haircut and black-framed rectangular glasses.

"What?" she stopped, looking around in confusion.

"Cigarette smoke. I noticed you holding your breath. I can't stand it either." he shrugged.

"Oh...oh, not actually, I am a smoker but I'm trying to go clean for awhile." she giggled, looking into his green-blue eyes and taking in his tan skin. He was actually quite handsome, looking unlike any guy she had seen before. As she looked down at his clothing she took in a standard-color Bob Marley t-shirt and faded jeans. There was a gold necklace around his neck and she could see slight-muscles bulging from underneath his short sleeves. He looked completely unlike anyone she had seen here so far.

"Your honest, I like that. Most people would just lie." he smirked, his voice warm and soft.

Jodi nodded, looking down at her Swarovski watch. She only had five minutes to get to class. She still had to grab her music too.

"Nick. Nick Canos." he extended a hand.

"Jodi Munch." she took it, smiling as she grasped his warm hand.

His eyes lingered on hers for a moment, somewhat flirtatiously but something told her he probably looked at everyone like that.

"I'm definantly going to be late to class." she bit her lip, looking down at her watch again.

"You going to classical?" he asked.

"Yeah." Jodi nodded, fingering the wedding band on her hand like she so often did now.

"Me too. I always see you."

"Oh? You're in there?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm one of the percussionists. I've been working on the bass drum for Shostakovitch."

"Oh! I have seen you. Want to walk together?"

"Yeah. You're the pianist right?"

"Yeah."

They walked in sync, Jodi's shoes thawcking loudly against the floor. There was a heavy uncomfortable silence between the two and she grabbed her quilted Chanel tote and looked inside, simply for something to do.

"Am I mistaken or is that a wedding band on your finger?" he asked, pointing.

"Yeah it is." Jodi smiled, although inside her body surged with anger at the thought of the fact that John had been angry with her today.

"When'd you get married?" he asked.

"March of this year." she smiled.

"Wow, how old are you?"

"Nineteen." she shrugged again, not really feeling like hearing the usual remarks about how young she was but none came.

"Well, I bet he's a lucky guy."

Jodi smiled again, before opening the door. Nick stepped in front of her, grabbing it.

"Ladies first." he smiled, holding it open for her.

She smiled, besides John not many guys were gentlemen.

"Thanks." she walked past him before entering the room.

The sounds of tuning were heard throughout the room as everyone warmed up individually.

"See you around I guess." he patted her on the back before walking to the opposite side of the room. Jodi stood there, before smiling. Finally she seemed to be making some friends.

* * *

"They stole my fucking credit card and SSN! How the fuck do you expect me to calm down?" Betsy almost screamed as several policemen stood in front of her.

Anthony put a hand on her shoulder, silently hoping it would calm her down, but his efforts were futile. She shrugged out from under his hand, slamming her own against the desk angrily.

"Ms. Roschav, don't worry. We're going to find out who did this. First I'm sorry but we have to ask. Have you made any enemies recently?"

Betsy opened her mouth, her eyes full of fury before snorting and turning around, wheeling out of the room. The policemen all looked at each other before Anthony cleared his throat.

"She was raped and beaten. Hence the wheelchair." Anthony pursed his lips, shoving his hands into the pockets of his True Religion's.

One of the officers swore, the other looked at Anthony.

"Do you know by who son?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"Obviously not or else she wouldn't be this worried right now." he snapped, wondering how obviously stupid they could possibly be. He should have just called Olivia.

"No need for the attitude, we're trying to help kid." one of them snapped.

Anthony bit his lip, trying his hardest not to say what he was thinking and pulled out his phone before texting Olivia rapidly. When he finished he looked up at the officers.

"Get out." he demanded.

There was a heavy pause.

"What?" one of them said.

"Get the fuck out." he pointed to the door.

"Listen kid, I don't know what the fuck your problem is but we've got someone who could be in danger here. Think about what's best for her." one of the officers stepped in.

"I am. Now get out." he pointed to the door once again.

The three officers glanced at each other before exiting the room, the last one hesitating a moment and looking around. Anthony watched him, and the two met each others eyes for a fleeting second before he stepped out.

Anthony slammed the door behind them before turning back to the penthouse, which had been completely destroyed.

Being a criminal himself, Anthony was an expert at lying, and in that he could tell when someone else was lying.

Walking to the window he looked down to where the officers had parked, taking out his phone and taking a quick shot of their car.

"Police my ass." he muttered, before going to find Betsy. Could they trust anyone?

* * *

John watched Jodi as she laid on the living room floor, her legs spread perpendicular to her body. She stared up at the ceiling, holding the pose for several minutes before sitting up and grimacing in pain.

"You okay?" John asked.

She turned her head, looking up before standing.

"Yeah, dance is just killing me. Literally." she shrugged, putting her hands on her aching lower back. John's eyes couldn't help but zoom in on her chest. She was wearing a cropped tank-top, and tight spandex, both of which framed her full ass and breasts. He distantly felt a rush of warmth zoom below his waist before sighing, remembering last night.

"Why don't you let me give you a massage?" he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. He had spent the entire day driving around, pretending to be looking for a perp. The captain had been giving him a light load lately because of the kids. He might as well take advantage of it.

"What?" Jodi asked, putting her hands on her hips, her flat stomach shining beneath the light. God he just wanted to destroy her.

"Let me give you a massage." he repeated.

"You? Give me a massage?" Jodi raised her arched eyebrows.

"Yeah. Why do you say it like that?" John asked, hearing the skepticism in her voice.

"This has just never come up before." she shrugged.

John sighed.

"Well, do you want to or not?" he asked. One way or another he was going to get her into bed.

"Fine." she shrugged, chuckling.

"Okay. Get upstairs and I'll meet you in the bedroom in ten minutes."

She nodded, walking past him and going up the stairs. John looked down at his hands. Massage...yeah.

* * *

Jodi lay on her stomach, feeling John's hands move up her back. She smiled. She knew he had absolutely no idea what the fuck he was doing, but at least he was putting effort into it. It actually did feel good.

"Do you mind?" he asked, his hands nearing the clasp of her bra.

She shook her head, sitting up and letting him unfasten it before sliding out. She heard a slight intake of breath on his part.

Jodi had been around the block a few times. She knew what things men would say to get a girl into bed, and massages were definitely one of them. She just couldn't believe her own husband was resorting to such a thing. But as long as his hands were on her it didn't really matter.

John's fingers kneaded her skin, and Jodi closed her eyes, his rough hands moving so lightly.

He slowly moved down to her lower back, and Jodi raised her lower body to let him know where she wanted his hands. He moved down her sides, the pads of his thumbs rubbing her lower back.

"How does that feel?" John asked.

"Really good." she moaned, her entire body heated in anticipation for his next move.

He grabbed her ass, squeezing it gently and causing her to moan loudly through the sheets.

"What was that?" John asked, his voice dripping with amusement.

Jodi giggled, hoping his hands would make their way back to her but instead he moved to her thighs, using small circular motions.

John continued to move down, before grabbing her arm, urging her to turn over.

Instead of doing so Jodi sat up, putting a hand on John's face.

"Just fuck me." she smiled, before leaning in and kissing him.

John grinned, pushing her back onto the bed.

"Yes ma'am."


	15. Evacuate the Dancefloor

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Evacuate the Dancefloor_ by Cascada. Jesus it's been almost a month since I worked on this. So sorry, been really busy. **

**Evacuate the Dancefloor**

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, repeat, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, repeat..."

Jodi drowned out the noises of her instructor as she focused only on trying to block the pain from her mind. She was to show no pain on her face. No pain anywhere. She was a dancer. They experienced no pain.

"Jodi I want more from you. Push it."

Jodi gritted her teeth, throwing the pain out of her mind and concentrating only on the moves. Only on doing better than any of the others girls in this room. What would her reward be? Being able to look at her daughters in the audience as she danced onstage. That was her reward.

She had to get there.

She threw her entire body into every move. Overdoing things was much better than not doing enough.

"Jodi pull back a little you're trying too hard." her teacher said, suddenly behind her.

She turned around and jumped, being thrown back into reality. She sighed and nodded before out a hand and throwing herself back into the routine.

She was going to become a star.

* * *

"Can I ask you something man?"

John looked over as Fin suddenly spoke up.

They made their way down the hallway of an apartment complex, going to check out a victim's apartment.

"Yeah what's up?" John asked, glancing at the door numbers to make sure they hadn't missed it.

"With Jodi...how did you know?" he asked.

"Know what?" John replied, not completely paying attention.

"That she was the one."

He stopped, before looking over at his best friend, never having heard him say anything like this before. It was rare if ever he talked about his love life, and even when he did it was usually just sex.

"Well...I kind of just knew...I mean, it felt different than it ever did with any of my other wives. I mean, whether we're fighting or fucking I know that I love her more than anything."

Fin nodded, before sighing and turning to his friend.

"Think that might've been my problem with my marriage. I kept convincing myself that I loved her, but...I guess I didn't."

"You might've...sometimes love just isn't enough."

Fin nodded before lifting a fist and pounding on the door.

"NYPD open up!" he yelled.

There was a loud crash inside and a scream. Fin and John bother turned to each other before pulling out their guns simultaneously.

They both kicked down the door and rushed in, John's last thoughts being his kids before everything turned into cop mode.

* * *

"Can you honestly believe that?" Jodi giggled as she opened the front door of their home, stomping the snow from her feet.

John followed behind, dragging in the stroller as well as some of their luggage.

"Which part? Me getting basically molested or the fact that they actually checked the strollers?"

"Both really." Jodi shrugged, pulling off her scarf and pulling the stroller out of the could. Andrew exclaimed loudly, opening his eyes and looking around, the girls still asleep.

"You are always busy." Jodi smiled before bending up and grabbing their son.

After several grueling weeks of dance for her, work for John, and putting together their first Halloween, the family had taken a trip to catch up with a few of Jodi's friends in Cleveland for Thanksgiving. It was a nice vacation, and even nicer was returning to New York on the first of the December to be welcomed with snow.

In addition to the last few months had come more work from the kids. All three had grown tremendously, now at almost five months. Andrew was teething early, and the girls were more fussy and spoiled than anything.

It was nice to stop waking up in the middle of the night, and Jodi was done breastfeeding, leaving John free to spend as much time as he used to with that body he so loved.

"I mean honestly, we're the last couple I would suspect of terrorism." John said, grabbing the rest of the luggage before slamming the door behind them.

"Well, you know I am half Hispanic. It's to be expected with anyone not completely American." Jodi giggled before sighing and pulling off her coat.

"Feels good to be home?" John raised his eyebrow.

"Very. When do you have to go back to work?" she asked.

"Tomorrow. Why?"

"Oh, I wanted to start decorating the house."

"For what?"

"The holiday's. I was thinking we could just do both holidays this year."

"Well...Hanukkah starts today. Quite frankly I don't really feel like going shopping for decorations..." he trailed off.

"Don't worry, I already got some. I picked up a lot of things before we left."

John nodded.

"Well, do you mind if we unpack later? I need some sleep."

"Sure, go upstairs. Actually...I was thinking dinner at six? That gives you a five hour nap...and I've got something planned for tonight." she winked.

John turned at the bottom of the staircase, looking at her and she smiled before patting Andrew's bottom to see if he was wet.

He put his small hands on her chest, laying down his head on her shoulder. Jodi smiled and buried her head in his red hair.

The girls began to fidget and Jodi sighed before looking around. Over the past few months, she came home every day and fell into a dead sleep, only awaking to eat and check on the kids. John was there to take care of them, and she felt less and less like a mother. She hated having someone else take care of her kids while she was at school and John was at work. If she had known she was pregnant before hand she would have held off a year at Juilliard, but she was far to into it now.

The freshman ballet class was putting on their first production of the season, the classic _Swan Lake_. While it was a completely cliché and over-performed act, the instructor was more than confident that the new ballet students would play the show beautifully, followed by the to other two Tchaikovsky ballets in the beginning and end of January.

She wanted more time with her children. Luckily she had her winter break coming up in two days, although her days off were going to be spent practicing until the performance on the 22nd.

Jodi grabbed the stroller before rolling it into the living room, holding Andrew with one arm.

She looked up and smiled. Things were going well now, and they were about to get even better.

* * *

"So, what's this surprise you were talking about?" John asked as he looked across the dinner table at Jodi. She smiled, before taking a spoonful of chili and wiping her hands.

"Well it won't be much of a surprise if I tell you now." she grinned, tilting her head to the side.

John watched her carefully. After a long nap he had awoken to help Jodi feed the kids and eat his own meal. The tone in her voice suggested something along the lines of sex, which really would be a surprise these days.

It wasn't that they didn't have sex anymore...it was just, in the past two months they had really lost the time. Jodi was exhausted when she got home from school, John was exhausted when he got home from work. When she was studying he was sleeping. When she was sleeping he was working. It was as if they barely even saw each other anymore.

There were the weekends, when all Jodi had to do was go in to practice for a few hours, but when she returned home she opted to spend as much time as she could with the kids. It was the reason John was so shocked when they were able to take a short vacation. Even when she had breaks, she spent most of her time down at the school practicing.

It was as if their life had evolved into something completely unexplainable. He didn't really know who they were anymore. When he looked at Jodi he no longer recognized her as the young girl he had met more than a year ago, now she was a woman.

Yet their relationship still stayed strong. Perhaps it was the fact that they didn't see each other enough to fight or argue, but any time they did spend together he spent in her arms, making up for all the lost time.

"Fine, well just tell me what kind of surprise it is." John said, leaning forward.

Jodi gave him her trademark smile and winked.

"I think you can figure it out." she grinned. "I don't have to be down at the school until twelve tomorrow."

"So what does that mean?" John asked.

"That means I'll be staying up pretty late. Now eat your dinner." she said resolutely before dipping her spoon into her bowl.

John followed suit, grinning. It felt just like old times.

* * *

"Elizabeth, I'd like you to meet someone."

Elizabeth grabbed Trevor's hand as an African-American woman walked into the room, instantly commanding her attention.

"Elizabeth, this is Carolyn Maddox, she's going to be handling your case. Carolyn this is my girlfriend Elizabeth."

"You see to be quite the stud Trevor." Carolyn smiled before leaning forward and shaking Elizabeth's hand, grasping it tightly.

Elizabeth smiled nervously, before withdrawing her hand and looking up at Trevor.

"Don't worry, I don't bite." Carolyn chuckled before tossing her briefcase onto Trevor's desk and taking a seat.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked.

"Coffee. Not swill." she crossed her legs before clearing her throat and turning to Elizabeth.

"So Mrs. Stanford, you believe your husband was wrongfully imprisoned and you wish to get him out?" Carolyn asked, getting straight to the point.

Trevor shifted uncomfortably as he handed to coffee to Carolyn and Elizabeth blanched.

"Well...we're not really married anymore. I mean, I suppose we never legally filed for divorce but..."

"I understand, however a jury might not see things hat way." Carolyn took the cup before taking a quick sip and setting it down.

Elizabeth nodded, her face burning bright red.

"Hey, don't worry about it." Trevor whispered softly before putting his hands on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry I don't understand, why can't Trevor be my attorney?" Elizabeth asked.

"Because it presents a conflict of interest. An attorney dating his client? You wouldn't even make it three minutes in the courtroom."

"Carolyn here is the best defense attorney there is. There's no way we can possibly lose the case with her."

"Are you sure?" Elizabeth asked.

"Elizabeth, juries are more sympathetic these days. If I present the case that a man killed to protect his daughter, and already has served years in prison, they'll be begging to set him free. Especially when I add in the fact that he has three new grandchildren he hasn't been able to see yet."

She nodded, listening to the woman. She sounding like she really knew what she was talking about, and she knew Trevor wouldn't have gotten her if she wasn't good.

"Okay...so...what now?" Elizabeth asked.

"Now, we prepare for battle."

* * *

"So...what's this surprise you have me so eagerly waiting for?" John asked as Jodi led him up the stairs in a silk bathrobe, her beautiful body outlined.

"Well, remember a conversation we had a few months ago...about fantasies?" she asked, turning back to look at him.

He drew his attention from her full ass and looked into her green eyes.

"Yeah."

"Well, there was something we agreed on." she raised an eyebrow as she pulled him to the bedroom.

"And that was? You surprisingly agreed to a fair number of things."

Jodi smiled and opened the bedroom door pulling him inside to spot the brunette sprawled across the bed.

"Well...I do remember now." John raised his eyebrows, looking over at his wife. She smiled before dropping his hand and seductively sauntering over to the bed.

Now this was even better than old times.


	16. Power

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Power_ by Kanye West. I couldn't help myself with this chapter...I just saw _Black Swan_. In the event you haven't yet...do. Do. Just do. Do it. Do it. Possibly one of the best movie's I ever seen. It was so thrilling, frightening, and erotic. Just go see it. **

**Power**

"Hey there John." Betsy smiled from the bed, sitting up at straightening the large shirt she wore.

Jodi climbed in next to her, grinning seductively before putting her hand on the brunette's shoulders.

"H-hi." John stuttered before clearing his throat nervously. He watched as his wife put her arms around Betsy. Just watching her simply touch the other woman was enough to drive him insane.

Betsy closed her eyes as she felt Jodi's hands on her shoulders. Had she had waited for this, dreamed about it, wondered about it for so long. The thought of the redhead touching her, kissing her. Touching her all over her body. And she was finally going to be able to experience it.

"You coming?" Jodi asked from behind her, her fingers still on Betsy's shoulders.

John closed the door behind him before walking up to the bed.

"What about the kids?" he asked.

"I just put them down to bed." Jodi winked, before moving her hands down ever so slightly, brushing the top of Betsy's breasts.

She leaned her head back, closing her eyes and found herself enveloped in Jodi's warm scent, a mixture of cinnamon and citrus spices.

"Oh." John said as he continued to watch, Jodi's finger traveling further and further down.

"So, are you going to come over here with us or not?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I think I want to...just watched for now." John said quietly, not really trusting himself to talk. Just the thought of his wife touching another woman was enough to drive him over the edge, and he didn't know what he was going to do with himself if he watched them have sex. Already he felt himself getting hard.

Jodi's bathrobe fell open, and she pulled it off quickly, revealing a red bra and matching thong with black lace trim.

She giggled, before looking down at Betsy and leaning in, pressing her lips to the brunettes.

It had seemed like an eternity since she had been with a woman, and indeed it was nice.

Betsy pounced on her, attacking her mouth with an intense sexual ferocity that sent a surge of warmth through Jodi's body.

Jodi put her hands on Betsy's face, tasting her warm mouth. The sweet lingering taste of Monster and pot. Her mouth tasted more than amazing, almost perfect.

She pulled away, before pushing a strand of hair out of Betsy's face and looking over her shoulder at John, who was laying across the bed simply watching them.

Jodi crawled to her husband, before grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him over to her, kissing him. John kissed her back before pulling away.

"I want to watch you." he whispered in her ear.

Jodi shivered as his mouth brushed her ear and nodded, kissing him again before turning back to Betsy.

She felt Betsy's eyes on her, and arousal surge through her body. It had been so long since she had been with a woman, and she could only imagine the feel and taste of Betsy's swollen sex. She ached for it.

After losing the few extra pounds she had, Betsy had transformed into a good size. Thick, but not fat, with a nice pair of C-cups sitting above heavily tattooed skin.

Jodi slowly pulled down her bra straps, before reaching back and unhooking the bra, watching as Betsy's eyes widened. She smiled, leaning in and kissing Betsy again.

Betsy's hands quickly and aggressively flew to her breasts, throwing to bra down before putting her hands around Jodi's body.

She moved her hands down, grabbing Jodi's ass and she gasped, throwing back her head. Betsy took the opportunity to sink her teeth into Jodi's neck, causing the her to whine loudly in pleasure.

Betsy smiled, squeezing her bottom before spanking her lightly. Jodi closed her eyes, caught in eternal bliss.

Bliss.

* * *

John watched the two women, completely unable to move. Unable to do anything.

Pleasure ran through him as he watched his wife pleasure another woman. It just might have been the hottest thing he had ever seen.

Jodi sat perched nude between Betsy's legs, her tongue deep within the other woman's sex as she made her scream and writhe and pleasure, and it wasn't until now that John realized just how attractive Betsy was herself.

The shaggy black-haired woman's body was a work of art. Literally and figuratively. Even beneath all the tattoos, she seemed to have lost weight since John first met her, full C-cups sitting above a flat stomach.

Betsy grabbed her breasts, moaning as Jodi worked her over with her tongue, using a hand to play with her clit as she moved her tongue inside of her.

John unbuttoned his pants, relieving the pressure from his raging erection and watching as Jodi got up on all fours.

Betsy grabbed her, bringing her mouth to hers and both women kissed each other passionately before Jodi turned toward him, her green eyes burning with lust and pleasure.

She crooked a finger and grinned, motioning for John to come over to her. As soon as he did so she attacked him with her mouth, kissing him fiercely. John put his hands in her hair, grasping it tightly before pulling away.

Jodi looked at him, before turning back to Jodi, kissing the woman. John laid back continuing to watch them. Yes, this was bliss.

* * *

"Innocent. Fragile. The White Swan is shy. Frightened. Sheltered. She is timid. Embody it. I want to see it."

Jodi closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and looking up at the ceiling as she grabbed the bar, extending her lean legs into the next move.

"Jodi you are still the Black Swan. I want to see the White." her teacher stepped behind her, putting two hands on her shoulders and pulling them back.

Jodi took a deep breath, giving everything she had to no longer be herself, only the pure White Swan. She wanted this part. She needed it. She had to get it.

She was going to have it.

* * *

Jodi sat on the couch, sighing as she grabbed one of her legs, stretching it out beside her.

She was in pain. She was stressed. She was beyond tired.

Just as she did so, John walked into the room.

"I'm sorry, do you live here?" she asked, only half-joking. She had barely seen John in the past few days, and she knew that he had a job to do, but what about the three children they had? She knew she was starting to sound like Elliot's wife, but now she really understood.

"Yes, I do. In fact, I'm working to pay the bills for this house." John replied, pulling off his tie.

Jodi ignored the nasty comment climbing towards her mouth, the fact that he wasn't the one paying the bills at all but she ignored it. She still had not told him that Caleb was paying for everything basically, and this was certainly not confession time here.

She grabbed one of her feet, pulling it back and waiting for the painful yet satisfying crack, that echoed loudly around the room. John winced.

"Is that supposed to happen?" he asked

"Yes." Jodi sighed, before unlacing and pulling off her shoes. As she did so, she watched as the blood smeared across her toes from her bleeding knuckles.

"Can you get me some Band-Aids or something?" she asked.

John hesitated for a moment, before leaving the room. She bent down, resting her head on her knees and letting herself give in, just once to the pain. When she looked up again five minutes later, he was approaching.

She quickly wiped her eyes, knowing that the fact she had been crying was written all over her face but ignored it.

John put the first-aid kit on the couch before grabbing a cotton ball and some antiseptic and putting her feet gently on his lap.

"Jodi..." he said softly, cleaning her wounds before looking up. She gave him a look that told him not to say it, but he did anyway.

"I think you're pushing yourself too hard."

"John, I'm not pushing myself enough. As much as I try, there's still girls who are better than me." she sighed, slumping down slightly.

"There will always be someone better, but don't hurt yourself over it Jo."

As he moved over one of her bloody toe knuckles, she winced, and John took a Band-Aid, gingerly covering up each abrasion.

Once he had finished he gently kissed the arch of her foot before putting it down. Jodi looked down, before smiling timidly.

"Thanks." she said.

John smiled back, sitting up on his knees.

"Where's the kids?" he asked.

"Anthony." she replied.

She was shocked at what a figure her brother had become in the children's lives. Not only did he spoil them rotten, but Jodi could tell that he truly care for them.

"Ah. And you're okay with this?" John asked, raising his eyebrows.

"John, do you honesty think I would have my children around him if he was still a criminal?" she asked. Sometimes he did just piss her off.

"Okay, okay. My apologies." John said before standing up and grabbing the first-aid kit, then leaving her alone.

Jodi sighed, looking down at her bandaged feet before standing up, grabbing a bottle of painkillers and looking inside, before tossing it onto the floor. Now back to work.


	17. Vogue

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Vogue_ by the queen forever Madonna. I can't believe I haven't used the song sooner. It's my theme song! Happy New Year!**

**Vogue**

"Sadie, _sit_!" Jodi demanded firmly, grabbing the dog's bottom and pushing it down onto the floor of the tub.

Sadie whimpered, her wet fur clinging to her body and Andrew giggled wildly, clapping his hands as he watched his mother attempt the give the small dog a bath.

"Yeah, just wait until you start doing this." Jodi said, blowing her wet hair out of her face as she continued to wash the dog.

Suddenly, the door opened and John walked inside.

"Well then." he hesitated, his hand on his zipper.

"Hey John. I'm just giving Sadie a bath. You might want to just go downstairs."

"You need any help?" John asked.

"Yeah...that'd be nice. Although, if you have to take a leak I don't really think this is the best task to me doing."

John chuckled, walking into the bathroom and grabbing Anthony from his chair, picking him up.

"Hey there." he grinned. Andrew replied by kissing him loudly on the cheek.

"Kisses for daddy?" John grinned, leaning in and kissing his son.

Andrew giggled loudly, and Jodi turned around, sad she didn't have a camera to take a shot of the picture.

The moment she turned around, Sadie jumped from the tub, sprinting out of the bathroom, still soaked.

"SHIT THE CARPETS!" Jodi screamed, getting up and running from the bathroom.

She followed the wet streaks throughout the home, slipping as she hit the staircase and tumbling down the stairs. As she did so, she finally landed, rolling awkwardly on her hand.

When her body reached the flat surface, Jodi heard a sickening crack, and pulled her arm from under her body and looked at her hand.

One of her fingers was bent back unnaturally, and after several moments, and incredible amount of pain began to move through Jodi's body.

"Fuck." she swore, grabbing her hand. As she did so, Sadie appeared in front of her, shaking out her wet fur and wagging her tail happily.

"You bitch." Jodi groaned, before standing up and going upstairs to tell John she needed to go to the hospital.

* * *

"How you feeling?" John asked, walking into the bedroom.

"Okay. Painkillers." Jodi said, giving him a small smile.

John closed the door behind her.

"Just put the kids down."

She nodded, before putting down the book she was reading and slumping down into the bed and sighing heavily.

"What is that look?" John asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"Oh nothing, just incredibly horny wife laying in bed and waiting for her hard-working husband to oblige her." Jodi smiled.

"You know, I just realized. I know have the pleasure of calling my wife a MILF too." John chuckled, sliding into the bed beside her.

He pressed his lips to hers, kissing her softly. Jodi replied by throwing her arms around him eagerly, their tongues clashing furiously and passionately.

Suddenly, Jodi's phone rang.

"Damn..." she swore, before answering it.

"Hello?"

John watched as her expression slowly melted into worry, and sat up, putting his arm around her.

She hung before looking over at John, her green eyes swimming.

"Apparently nothing can go right in this family. Anthony's in jail."

"What? Why?" John exclaimed.

"Girl he picked up at a bar turned out to be sixteen. Her father walked in and freaked. Tried to beat the fuck out of Anthony and I guess he tried to defend himself. Someone called the cops, and they took him in."

"Jesus. Okay, how about you stay here and I'll go down to the station. This will land in our jurisdiction."

"Are you sure about that?" Jodi asked.

"Yeah, don't worry I'll get everything sorted out."

Jodi stood up, leaning in and kissing him.

"Thankyou. Thankyou so much." she replied.

John nodded, grabbing his coat and stepping out of the room. Jodi groaned, leaning back in the bed.

"Damn." she swore again.

* * *

"Thanks John." Anthony sighed.

"Yeah no problem." John replied, walking him out of the building.

Anthony rubbed his wrists, looking at the slight bruises from the handcuffs.

"Listen, I'm thinking you should probably stay away from women until after to court hearing. It was an honest mistake, I'm sure they'll find you not guilty." John patted his back.

"I doubt it man. These people up here are vultures. What about Jo? Everything alright?"

John nodded.

"Yeah, broke a finger today but everything is...you know. You want me to take you home or do you want to just get a cab? I do trust your judgment. "

"I'll get a cab. I need some time alone. Thanks though man."

John nodded again, before walking to his car and opening the door, slamming it behind him. Jodi was right. Apparently, nothing went right in this family.

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?"

The entire studio turned around, everyone looking in interest as the head of the ballet department stood before them.

"You are all very talented dancers, or else you would not be here. Now despite criticism due to the release of the film _Black Swan_, and the New York City ballet's upcoming production in February, we will still be doing the Tchaikovsky trilogy. The production of Swan Lake will take place the week of Christmas. Open auditions are being held over the next three days. Sign-up list is on the wall outside, and results will be posted within the next week."

As soon as he left, everyone in the studio began to chatter wildly, and Jodi felt her heart flutter.

"Okay, everyone pick a partner. We will rehearse a selection from the production."

Everyone began to meld, and Jodi stood there, realizing she talked to about two girls in her entire ballet class. For thise she preferred to detach herself from people and focus only on getting where she needed to be. Besides, there was no doubt or denying that all of the girls in here were bitches for the most part.

"Excuse me."

Jodi turned around, facing a tall and muscular guy, with a body completely unfit for ballet. Then again, so was her body.

"Hi." she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Would you like to partner up?" he asked through a thick accent.

Jodi smiled.

"Sure." she nodded.

He grinned before stepping beside her, putting a hand on the bar and another on her waist.

"Alexander." he said in her ear.

"Jodi." she replied, placing a hand in the air and assuming the stance.

"Quite a rock on your finger." he said, musing.

"Quite a husband that gave it to me." Jodi smiled, looking at him. He smirked at her, through smoldering hazel eyes before inhaling sharply and facing straight ahead.

Jodi did the same as the music started for the third act, and closed her eyes, letting the moves take her.

Perhaps in Alexander she would find her way into the production after all.

* * *

John and Fin sat on the couch, watching as Jodi stretched on the floor in front of the TV, wearing nothing but a pair of tights and a cropped hoodie that revealed her taught abs and a hint of her tattoo.

"I like when she does that one." John said, pointing as she lifted her leg above her body.

"Yeah..." Fin trailed off, in a trance just as much as John was.

"Guys, am I in the way of the TV?" Jodi said from the floor.

"No." both of them answered at the same time, taking sips from their beers.

Jodi went down into a split, lunging forward and touching her pointed toe. John watched as her long neck went down, her lithe body stretching into positions even he didn't thing possible.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

Jodi stood up, rushing out of the room and John listened as she conversed with someone outside. She closed the front door, and reemerged with a hunky foreign looking guy.

"John, this is Alexander, my dance partner. Alexander, this is my husband John." she smiled, putting an arm around his bicep.

"Hello." Alexander smiled barely audible through his thick accent.

"Hi." John mumbled. Fin straightened up on the couch beside him.

"We're going to the studio to practice. Need anything?" Jodi asked.

"No." John replied, glaring at the young boy.

Jodi nodded at Fin before taking Alexander by his arm and pulling him out of the room.

"You know, chicks go crazy for guys with accents." Fin said.

"Fuck you." John replied before slumping down and taking a sip from his beer.


	18. Sweet Transvestite

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Sweet Transvestite _from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I also do not own the rights to the (absolutely amazing) show _Glee_.**

**Sweet Transvestite**

Jodi sat on the couch, looking as John entered the room. She seemed to be spending more and more of her time on it lately.

"Well hello there. Where's your _friend_?" John asked.

Jodi rolled her eyes. Although John knew that Jodi would never cheat on him (omit the Elliot incident), she did not know why he was getting so worked up over Alexander.

Jodi had figured something out. She and Alexander were to audition together, him as Sigfried, and Jodi as Odette and Odile. They were a perfect team for the part, and Jodi hoped to God that they made it together. Alexander was an amazing dancer, and she would have been more than glad to dance with him.

"Well, _Alexander_ is probably at his house with his girlfriend." Jodi snapped back, looking back to the television as an episode of _Glee_ played.

"Uh-huh." John murmured before stepping in front of her and sitting down on the couch beside her.

Jodi looked at him and rolled her eyes, putting her feet up on the table and watching as Quinn Fabrey walked down the hall in her cheerleading uniform, only to be attacked violently by Santana.

"I don't understand how these are supposed to by typical American teenagers? Half the actors on here are almost in their 30's, and when I was in high school girls were loose, but they weren't having threesomes and having sex with everyone in school including the gay guys."

"Sad part is, most of this stuff actually happens." Jodi commented before sighing, stretching one of her legs out in front of her.

"You okay?" John asked as she winced.

"Oh, now you care? I've taken a few painkillers but they still hurt like hell." Jodi replied, putting a foot on the end table in front of her.

John got on the ground, grabbing Jodi's leg, and propping her foot up on his thigh. Putting a hand on her swollen ankle tenderly, rubbing the skin. Jodi bit her lip, focusing only on the fact that he was touching her. That seemed like it hadn't happened in quite some time.

"Does that feel better?" John asked.

Jodi gave him a small smile.

"No." she replied honestly, but it did feel good to have his warm fingers against her inflamed skin. It seemed like John hadn't put his hands on her in almost an eternity now. Then again, it was rare that they actually saw each other. She spent her entire days practicing at the ballet studio, John spent his entire nights down at the precinct.

John sat up, putting his hands on Jodi's thighs and looking up into her stressed albeit beautiful face.

"You started making plans for Christmas yet?" John asked. They had just finished the Hanukkah celebration, and Christmas was rapidly approaching.

"Oh God I don't even want to think about that." Jodi replied, tilting her head back.

John grabbed one of her hands, kissing it softly before running his hands up her skin. Jodi closed her eyes and smiled.

"What?" John asked beneath her.

She opened her eyes and looked down at him.

"Nothing, it just feels like old times." she smiled.

"It's only been a year." John chuckled, rubbing his hands against her thighs.

Jodi looked down at him and smirked coyly, shifting and spreading her legs apart.

John raised his eyebrows.

"Is that supposed to mean something?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her legs.

"You can figure it out." Jodi bit her lip, blushing profusely.

John chuckled.

"The kids?" he asked.

"Asleep. We've got time."

John nodded, before leaning forward and grabbing the waistband of her yoga pants and pulling them down slowly. Jodi lifted her legs as he grabbed the waistband of her panties, pulling them down as well.

Jodi opened her legs, and John wrapped his hands around her thighs before hovering near her increasingly-aroused apex.

John placed a hand on her warm sex, rubbing the sensitive skin gently. Jodi closed her eyes and moaned, his signers inducing wild pleasure throughout her entire lower body.

He rubbed her, and Jodi's toes curled. It seemed like it had been so long since he had last touched her. Hell, it _had_ been a long time since he had last touched her.

Jodi put her hands on her knees, looking down at her husband. He met her eyes, before taking his index finger and gently placing it on her engorged clit.

She gasped, tilting back her lithe neck. John responded by rubbing her clit in a circular motion, feeling her pulse and throb beneath him. Jodi moved her legs, resting her sore feet on John's back.

He stuck out his tongue, before flicking it at her swollen nub gently. Jodi responded with an arousing keen, her chest rising and falling quickly as her breathing began to quicken.

Jodi looked down at John and their eyes met before John grinned, diving into her with his tongue and causing Jodi to moan loudly and arch her back. The only thing she could really do was enjoy the moment while it lasted.

* * *

"Jodi, will you please relax?" Alexander exclaimed, putting his hands on her shoulders.

Jodi scoffed and turned around, pulling herself form his touch and peeking through the cracked door as one of the other girls auditioned for the part.

She watched Carla, an fellow peer who had come to Julliard all the way from Montreal.

Jodi had watched her during practice, and was in fact astounded by the Canadian girl's skills at dance, but Jodi knew that there was a chance that she was better.

She and Alexander had spent hours upon hours in the studio, practicing and perfecting sequences in the ballet, an Jodi knew there was a chance of the two making it.

Jodi turned around, looking at Alexander as her heart pounded and her stomach twisted with nerves. She felt as though she was going to vomit all over the place.

"I'm going to throw up." she said quickly before turning around and sprinting down the hall and into the closest bathroom.

Jodi threw open the door of the stall, and lunged herself at the toilet before grabbing the bowl and heaving violently.

She heard the door open behind her, and Alexander opened the door to the stall, watching her.

Jodi wiped her mouth, flushing the toilet before standing up, clutching her stomach. Alexander handed her a pack of gum, and she grabbed a piece, silently thanking him before going to the sink and rinsing out her mouth quickly.

She douse her face with cold water before standing up and sighing.

"Come one." Alexander said.

Jodi nodded, turning around and walking behind him as they exited the bathroom.

"Jodi?"

As they stepped into the hallway, Jodi turned around to find John approaching, holding a bouquet of flowers.

"John." she said weakly, her voice wavering. She turned around, approaching John only to stop when she caught sight of his face. Apparent anger, which caused Jodi to immediately feel even more nervous.

"Why were you two in the bathroom together?" he asked, making no attempt to lower his voice.

"John, please don't do this." Jodi said, lowering her voice and putting a hand on him but he yanked himself form her grip.

"What the fuck Jodi?" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up. Alexander stepped in, trying to intervene.

"Look, it's not what it looks like. Jodi was getting sick and-" John cut him off.

"Does it look like I'm here to listen to your bullshit?" John snapped.

"JOHN!" Jodi screamed, her voice cracking as her throat burned from getting sick. John looked at her, and both of them stared at one another.

"Whatever." John replied, shoving the flowers into her hands before turning around and leaving.

"John, wait." Jodi called after him, but he continued to walk down the hall, leaving the two behind.

Her eyes began to water, and she quickly tried to calm herself so she wouldn't go in looking upset. Alexander put and arm around her, and instead of pushing him away like she normally would, Jodi fell into his arms, burying her face in his chest.

"Hey, just try and focus on the audition alright?" Alexander whispered, rubbing her back gently.

Jodi nodded, before pulling back and wiping her face. She took a deep breath before looking at Alexander and nodding.

"Okay, let's go."

* * *

John listened as the front door slammed, and sat up as he lay in bed.

After his blowout with Jodi, he had returned home and elected to stay in bed to mull over his thoughts.

Was she cheating on him? What the hell was he supposed to think when he walked in to find his wife leaving the bathroom with some other guy? Some other guy that she talked about constantly and spent almost every waking hour of her time with now?

It would only make sense. They hadn't seen each other in awhile, and every time they were together it usually ended in one of them storming out in anger. Besides, she had been so close with that Alexander son of a bitch.

He would be lying if he said he trusted her. Truth was, John did not trust her. Not after the Elliot incident, which had been almost a year ago but he didn't care. That had shattered his trust in Jodi completely.

He had months to cope with it. Months to think about what she had done to him. John had tried to trick himself into thinking he didn't care, but the truth was...he cared. He really cared.

Suddenly, the bedroom door was thrown open, and Jodi stood in front of him, hands on her hips.

John said nothing, and Jodi walked up to him, doing something John had never dreamed of before.

Jodi raised her hand before smacking him across the face harshly, much harder than even Gwen had done.

"What the fuck?" John cried, standing up and looking into her face as his hands shook with anger.

"How fucking _dare_ you even try and accuse me of cheating you fucking asshole!" Jodi exclaimed, her face bright red.

John did everything he could not to put his hands on her. Not to throw her back, and slam his fist across her beautiful face.

"I saw you walking out the fucking bathroom with him, what else am I supposed to think when you went behind my back and fucked Elliot?"

The room was silent, before John was met with an explosion.

"YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH! HOW DARE YOU EVEN TRY AND BRING THAT INTO THIS. THAT WAS ONCE, AND I APOLOGIZED TO YOU FOR IT AND MARRIED YOU. HOW ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO TRY-"

"DON'T FUCKING YELL AT ME! HOW ABOUT YOU ACT LIKE MY WIFE INSTEAD OF WALTZING AROUND LIKE A SLUT?"

It was the angriest John had ever been with her, and Jodi opened her mouth, before letting out an indecipherable noise.

"Did you just call me a slut?" Jodi said quietly.

John stood there, silently wishing he had taken the words back as he looked at the hurt on Jodi's face.

"I-" he began, but she cut him off.

"Get the fuck out." she said.

"Jodi, I didn't me-"

"GET THE FUCK OUT!"

He stood up, quickly leaving the room and letting the guilt quickly replace his anger. The woman he had loved, he just attacked with no mercy. It was everything.

He was frustrated and angry from work. He was afraid with each day he grew older that Jodi would come to her senses and leave him. John was just...he couldn't even really explain what he was.

But as of now, he was sorry.

He walked down the stairs, making his way into the nursery to see the girls.

The twins were sleeping peacefully, not even awoken from the raised voices in the bedroom right above. John looked down at his daughters, amazed that he could have made something so beautiful.

He slowly left the room, pulling on his coat and digging around in his pocket for his car keys. It would probably be better to just spend the night with Fin. He hadn't even found out whether or not Jodi had gotten the role, or if she had done well on her audition.

John opened the front door and closed it behind him before sighing. He had gone through four marriages already. He couldn't go through another.


	19. Bohemian Rhapsody

**A/N: I DO NOT own the rights to the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Bohemian Rhapsody. _I have a Twitter page up for the story so you can keep up with updates etc. Here's the link:**

**twitter(.com)/#!/johnmunchsaga  
**

**Bohemian Rhapsody**

John sat on Fin's couch, rubbing his eyes as he sat up. Fin walked into the room, tossing a pillow at John to wake him up.

"Get up man, just got a call from Cragen. You get a text yet?" he asked.

John looked over at his phone, and sure enough there was a text waiting from Cragen.

He had not heard from Jodi yet, and John knew for a fact that in this situation, he _had_ gone to far.

He had verbally abused his wife, as well as accused her of cheating. What was he supposed to do though? Any time she was with another man, his thoughts automatically went to the Elliot situation. How exactly was he really supposed to trust her?

He had spared Fin the details, only letting slip the slut part. It was his fault, he knew that. He only prayed that Jodi would forgive him. There as no way in hell he could go through another divorce.

Standing up, John stretched quickly before sighing.

"I'm going to go grab a shower. Give me ten." he said.

Fin nodded, and as John began to walk away he stopped him.

"John!"

He turned around.

"Don't worry, things will work out between you."

"I hope." he sighed, before looking down at trudging to the bathroom. He really hoped so.

* * *

"Jodi!"

Jodi turned around, wincing as her neck protested in pain to find Nick, running down the hall towards her.

"Hey you, long time no see." she smiled.

"Hey, congratulations." he said.

"...What?" Jodi asked, looking at him carefully with no hint as to what he was talking about.

"I'm in pit for _Swan Lake_ and we saw the postings. Congratulations."

Jodi hesitated for a moment, before her heart leaped in her chest.

"Wait...are you saying...I got the part?" she asked.

Nick stood for a moment.

"Oh, sorry. I thought you knew already. Yeah, you got the lead."

Jodi stood in shock for a moment, before jumping up and down happily, shrieking with glee.

"OH MY GOD!" she yelled happily, before leaning in and sweeping Nick into a massive hug.

He clutched her body tighter than he should have, and Jodi wrenched herself from his grip gently before remembering something else.

"What about Alexander? Did he make it?" she asked.

"You mean that foreign guy? Yeah, he got Rothgar or whatever."

"Rothbart." she corrected him, before crossing her arms and silently thinking. Rothbart was still a leading part, and a demanding one at that. Almost more important than the prince.

She nodded.

"I have to go find him!" she exclaimed, before giving him a wave and sprinting down the hall.

As she did so, she ran into a tall brunette woman with a long neck and light blue eyes.

"Sorry." she said, stepping out of her way but the woman stopped her.

"You're Jodi Munch?" the woman asked.

Jodi nodded carefully, turning back around.

"Clarissa Freidtz. I'm the director of _Swan Lake_."

"Oh! Hello!" Jodi exclaimed, sticking out her hand.

Clarissa shook it loosely, before dropping it.

"I saw the tape of your audition. You really are quite something Mrs. Munch. There was no doubt in my mind that you would be perfect for this part."

"Thankyou." Jodi blushed humbly, bowing her head the smallest bit as the woman complimented her.

"However, there is an issue here. You are by no means overweight, but in this world...your size tends to be a nuisance. How much do you weigh dear?"

"135." Jodi said softly, her hands immediacy flying to her already flat stomach.

"Okay. Mid-week weigh-in next Wednesday. I want you to lose five pounds. Got it?"

"...Okay."

"You smoke?"

"Yeah but not right now. I just had kids and I'm breastfeeding."

"Well that's too bad. I don't care what you do. Cleanses, purging, whatever as long as you're not sagging. Got it?"

Jodi nodded, lowering her head. Was she really _that_ heavy?

"See you around." she said, giving Jodi a quick wave before turning around.

Jodi remained where she stood, never feeling so alone and hurt than she was now. And she had no one to talk to about it either.

She needed John.

* * *

Betsy and Anthony sat next to each other, digging into a large bowl of Cheetoh's as they stared at the ceiling with bloodshot and glazed eyes.

"You know, the ceiling kind of looks like it's melting." Anthony said slowly, reaching into the bowl and grabbing another.

"Yeah...yeah...yeah. Yeah." Betsy replied.

Whenever the two got together it seemed to always be a haze of marijuana and various other drugs, but it was much better than sitting at home and banging some brainless bimbo then waking up with an itch the next morning.

Instead, he just enjoyed his time with her, getting high and laying all over her.

Looking at her profile, Anthony continued to study her beautiful face. God he was gorgeous. All he could imagine was shoving all of himself inside of her and making her scream and moan beneath him. Show her exactly what it was like to be with a man.

All he wanted to do was touch her tits, run his hands down her tattooed body. God she was hot, and he wanted to love every single inch of her.

"Betsy?" he said, turning to her.

"Hm?"

"Have you ever been with a guy before?"

She did not hesitate, and chuckled lightly.

"Yeah, back before I really realized that I wasn't straight."

"How did you know? I mean, did you like it?"

"Well, it wasn't terrible. It just wasn't...you know, what I'm interested in."

Anthony hesitated, before sitting back in his seat on the couch and drawing his attention from her lips.

So much for that attempt at a relationship.

* * *

Jodi choked down a cleanse of cayenne pepper, syrup, lemon juice, and water. After she was done she slammed the glass down, and wiped her mouth before turning around.

Her first "meal" on her new diet until the next week. She sighed deeply, and walked out of the kitchen.

As she did so, sh all put ran into John in the hall.

He was still wearing his coat, covered in huge snowflakes.

Jodi said nothing, only looked down and there was a tense silence in the air before she sighed.

"So you're back?" she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"I needed more clothes." John shrugged.

Jodi sighed. They were going to have to talk about this, sooner or later.

"Come on." she said, leading him to the kitchen.

He followed her without argument, and they walked into the kitchen before Jodi sat down at the island bar, pulling the chair out beside her.

John sat down awkwardly, before Jodi began.

"We need to talk." she started.

"Yeah...listen, I'm really sorry about last night I never meant-"

She cut him off abruptly.

"No John, you're not."

As she said it, John looked at her, his face becoming wildly emotional.

"What? How can you say that?" he exclaimed, but once again Jodi stopped him.

"John, you're not sorry. You meant every word I said...and, I suppose that's my fault. We can't do this."

John stared at her for a moment.

"Wait...are you saying you want a divorce?"

"What? No! No! But because of what happened with Elliot, you're never going to trust me or get over the fact. John...I really think we need to see a marriage counselor."

He froze, leaning forward and putting his face in his hands.

"Jodi...I..."

"It doesn't mean we're going to get a divorce John, it just means we can become stronger and more confident that nothing like this happens again. I love me, and I know that you love me but we can't make this work unless we trust one another. 'Till death do us part. I plan to stay faithful to that, not matter what happens. Besides, we have three kids. They need a father."

The two sat in silence once more, and Jodi did not dare herself to look into his eyes.

"Okay." he said, finally meeting her eyes.

Jodi nodded.

"Okay, why don't you take the guest bedroom on the third floor."

John nodded once again, before standing up. Jodi stepped forward, putting a hand on his shoulder gently before walking out of the room.

As soon as she left the tears began to flow, and she felt the wet drops fall down her cheeks as they spilled involuntarily from her eyes.

She sighed as she walked up the stairs, hoping with all of her might that everything would turn out alright.


	20. Fairytale

**A/N: I DO NOT own the rights to the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Fairytale _by Sara Bareilles.**

**Fairytale**

Jodi put a leg up on the bar, sighing and taking a deep breath as she bent down, bringing her nose to her foot as she stretched out her leg.

She heard footsteps against the wood floor and turned to see Alexander appear beside her.

"Hey." she said, sighing.

"Hey." he replied, throwing his bag down and grabbing one of his legs, lifting it up as well.

"You don't look so hot." Jodi said, noticing the dark circles under his eyes and his stretched and torn expression.

"Yeah, broke up with my girlfriend." he replied.

Jodi nodded.

"Sorry to hear that. John and I are going into marriage counseling."

"What?" Alexander said, looking at her sharply.

Jodi nodded.

"Why?" he asked.

Jodi and Alexander now talked about their respective relationships often, but she had never told him about the Elliot situation. She supposed she should have, which would explain why exactly Elliot didn't like him, but she didn't want it to change his opinion of her.

"I'd rather not talk about it." she said quickly, before setting her foot on the ground and moving on to the next.

Alexander said nothing else, and the two of them stretched in silence before the director walked into the room.

"Hello everyone."

Jodi sighed, turning around and took off her sweater, tossing it beside her bag before taking a deep breath, and grasping the bar tightly.

* * *

"Hello, nice to meet both of you. I'm Dr. Slavens, but you can call me Michelle."

Jodi extended her hand, taking it and giving the woman a firm handshake. John simply stared before doing he same then the two sat down on the couch in her office.

"So, I understand you two are having trust issues."

Jodi nodded, and John continued to look at the walls. He did not want to be here. He did not feel comfortable at all revealing all of his problems to this stranger.

"Okay, let's see what I have here...it says that you have suffered some infidelity in your relationship?"

John sank further into the couch, and Jodi cleared her throat, looking at him.

"What?" he said irritably.

Her eyes widened, and she sighed, turning back to Michelle.

"Yes, I um...when we were still dating, I cheated on John." she said with a slight waver in her voice. John watched as she held her hea dhigh in an attempt to keep the shame from showing obviously.

"I see. Was this a long-term affair?"

"No, just a one-night stand."

Michelle nodded, before turning to John.

"Do you have anything to add to this John?" she asked.

"No." he replied quickly, and he heard Jodi sigh deeply beside him.

"Okay, I'm seeing a huge problem here already. You're not talking, you're not communicating, and that's something that needs to be done. When was the last time you two have even had an actual conversation?"

They both looked at one another, and neither answered.

"Communication seems to be a key issue, but we'll address that later. What were the circumstances of your infidelity Jodi?"

"Wait, are you trying to say that what she did was justifiable?" John immediately sat up.

"I simply asked Jodi what exactly happened." Michelle said, furrowing her eyebrows before crossing her legs and writing something down.

John rolled his eyes, and looked over at Jodi, who had a strange look on her face.

The rest of the session had gone by rather quickly. Jodi had done all the talking, and John had let her. He simply hoped that when they got home she would have felt like she'd talked everything out and they'd be fine.

As they walked outside, Jodi broke away from John immediately, stepping forward to hail a cab.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

As she turned around, John saw that her face was streaked with tears, eyes bright red and swollen.

"Getting a cab." she whimpered, before one pulled up beside the curb.

Before John could even say anything, she got in and slammed the door and John watched as she disappeared down the street.

"FUCK!" he screamed loudly, kicking a pile of snow angrily before going to his car.

* * *

"Okay Elizabeth, so what happened when you finally went to the police?"

"I was placed in the Witness Protection Program, in exchange for telling them names."

Trevor nodded, looking over at Carolyn who had been grilling Elizabeth for the last three hours as they built their case.

"Were you there the night your husband was arrested?"

Elizabeth hesitated only a second, having gone over the question several times and swallowed the emotion that built within her every time it was asked.

"I had just gone out."

"To do what?"

"Take care of some things."

"Liz, answer the question!" Trevor exclaimed.

Elizabeth sighed, swallowing. Even after several times she was embarrassed to say it.

"I had gone to my gynecologist."

"For what?"

"I thought I might have had something."

Her face burned brightly, and she lowered her head. Trevor walked over, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"It's okay Liz, just keep talking." he urged her.

"When you came back, what did you find."

Elizabeth looked up, taking another deep breath and nodding.

"The entire house was in shambles. There was blood everywhere, things were upturned. Someone had already called the police."

Carolyn nodded.

"What happened after that."

Elizabeth opened her mouth say something once more but found herself suddenly unable to speak. Unable to breath. Unable to do anything really.

She gasped, grasping her chest as a pain and terror ran through her, and felt as though her lungs were contracting into small knots.

Trevor yelled something she did not hear, lunging forward as she fell from her chair and onto the ground, releasing herself into darkness.

* * *

Jodi stood, looking out of the window as large snowflakes fell outside, covering the street below.

She sighed, turning around to find John, standing at the doorway.

There was a tense and heavy silence, as neither of them had spoken or seen one another since the appointment earlier.

John closed the door behind him, and Jodi walked over to the bed, sitting down with her arms crossed.

Emotion boiled wildly within her. The truth was, after thinking over everything that day she truly had a hard time believing that John loved her.

Had she cheated? Yes, and he had taken her back. In fact, he had proposed to her. He had become her everything, the father of her children, but now she doubted he even felt anything.

"I want you to tel me something." Jodi looked up boldly, her heart beating intensely as she thought about it.

"What?" John asked.

"Do you love me?"

He simply looked at her, crossing his arms.

"What kind of question is that?"

"One that you're not even answering. Do you love me?"

"Of course."

As he said it, Jodi caught a fleeting glance of something in his eyes. What was it? Doubt? There was no mistaking it.

Jodi felt her lip quiver immediately, and turned her head, not wanting him to see her cry at all.

"Jodi..." he murmured softly but she held out a hand stopping him and shaking her head.

"Please...just go..."


	21. Born This Way

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Born This Way_ by Lady GaGa.**

**Born This Way**

John looked up at the night sky, sitting on the rooftop of their luxurious townhouse. The home that belonged to him, his wife, and his three children.

And he really hoped it would stay that way.

The cold December air blew around him, and John felt his heart pang in his chest as he looked across the street to several homes decorated with Christmas lights.

Christmas was two days away. When they had discussed plans weeks ago before all this shit had gone down, both of them had planned to have company over. Now things were looking more and more grave.

Although he would never admit it aloud, there was nothing in the world John wouldn't do to fix this. A divorce...he wasn't sure he would actually be able to survive it.

Five divorces, five woman, each he thought he had actually loved.

But every single day he spent with Jodi he grew more and more sure she was the woman he was supposed to have been with for the rest of his life. He had kids with her for God's-sake, and there was no way in hell he was going to walk out on that.

The sounds of distant traffic and sounds of the city reached John's ears, and he walked to the edge of the roof, leaning over the brick wall and looking down into the street below.

He had fucked this up, big time, and even he knew it.

She had done wrong. He had done wrong. But at least Jodi had admitted it.

He could see, every time the three of them were around Elliot. She acted a bit awkward, almost frightened and from that John knew she truly felt remorse for what she had done. Some things would have a life-long impact, but he couldn't really blame anyone but himself.

If he was going to make this big a deal of things, he should simply have given things time before he proposed to her.

It had been a year now. A year since all of that went down, and now they were married with three beautiful children.

He had been angry for so long. He had simply kissed Casey. In fact, _she_ kissed _him_ and then Jodi had gone out and fucked Elliot.

At first he did not know what to feel, other than anger. Then he had realized, he absolutely could not lose her. When he had seen her in that Starbucks, he thought he was going to in every sense of the word. She had been losing so much weight, looking totally and completely unhealthy.

So he had proposed, foolishly not thinking about the time they really needed to get back into things. They had barely even been dating for two months, but John had done it.

Now he was suffering the consequences, proving even more inexperienced in marriage than she was, after multiple ones himself.

"You're going to catch a cold out here you know."

Her face was soft, but strong as ever. John turned his head to find Jodi standing by the door, holding his coat in her hands.

John looked up, just as thick and heavy white snowflakes began to tumble onto the Earth all around them.

Jodi took small steps, gingerly coming towards him. John noticed that she herself wore nothing but a thin azure-blue sweater and a pair of jeans.

Her hair blew past her face, whipping in the light wind and Jodi handed him his jacket, looking down at her black Chuck-Taylors.

John was left completely speechless, and he did the only thing he could think of at that moment.

Taking her into his arms, John brought her tightly to his chest.

"Please, I love you so much. I love you so fucking much." he said fiercely, burrowing his face in her neck.

Jodi remained stiff, and patted him awkwardly on the back before pulling away and grabbing his hand.

"Come on, let's go inside."

* * *

Jodi sat at the counter across from John, both of them looking at one another intently.

She swirled around the glass of scotch in her hand, before taking a sip and setting it down once more.

"John, I don't think you understand...you hurt me. You hurt me...so bad."

"I didn't mean what I said, I just lost my temper."

Jodi took another sip, blinking rapidly so as not to let the tears come forth before biting her lip.

"John...I can forgive you calling me a slut. Whore. Bitch. Whatever. What hurt me the most, is that you looked me in the eyes and lied to me. I really don't believe that you love me."

A tense silence hung in the air, and Jodi looked at John, hard in the eyes. For the first time since what had seemed an eternity, she say his dark eyes swimming with what shocked her as tears.

Jodi jerked away involuntarily as his hand reached across the counter towards her own, and she watched as John slowly retracted it, biting his lip.

"Jodi..." he said softly, looking away.

"John, please. Just tell me." Jodi repeated, feeling her body tremble.

All she wanted was to hear the words come from his mouth, and truly mean them. She wanted to know that he loved her. Just hearing those simply words would make everything better.

"I love you. I love you so fucking much." he said, his voice cracking.

Lunging forward, John grabbed her hand so hard that her rings dug into her finger, and Jodi closed her eyes tightly, listening to he words echo over and over in her head.

"_I love you. I love you. I love you."

* * *

_

They had made love fiercely in the complete darkness of the bedroom, and John found himself unable to think of anything but her.

They had gone up to the bed without a word, with no intentions of such a thing happening at all, but it did. John found himself kissing her, both of their tears mingling, and grabbing her face in his hands.

Then she had fallen into his arms, so warm and soft. The body he used to feel, and her soft whimpers left him unable to do anything but kiss her even more. Even harder.

Falling into the sheets, he buried himself inside of her, sighing as he felt what it was like to be inside of her once more. The both whined in unison, moaning and screaming and sharing ecstasy until she began to thrash wildly beneath him, crying out in pure unadulterated pleasure.

And now here they were, right beside one another. Jodi lay with her eyes half-closed, a lazy smile playing on her lips. John looked down at her, before kissing her forehead and sighing.

Things were finally right again.


	22. Forget You

**A/N: I DO NOT own the rights to any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Forget You_ by Cee-Lo Green. **

**Forget You**

Jodi lifted her leg gracefully, stretching it directly parallel to her body and ignoring the screaming pain throughout her body. Switching almost instantly, she drove it into the ground, rotating quickly and jumping on her toes, moving across the floor with grace.

As she continued to move, a young man named Christopher came up behind her, grabbing her waist and pressing his body to hers closely.

He grabbed her hand, pulling her around to face him, and she turned, leaping into the sky ever so lithely.

Mid-jump Christopher caught her, and tossed her once more. This time, she came down and he set her down gently, taking her hand and leading her into the next move.

"Okay, stop! Stop stop stop!"

Jodi turned around, almost plummeting to the ground as she tripped. Christopher caught her, pulling her up to face him and they turned around and looked to their lead instructor, who was glaring with an air of distaste.

"Jodi, is something wrong?" he asked.

"What? No!" Jodi responded quickly and honestly. Yes her feet her bloody and aching, yes every part of her body hurt, but she did everything not to let that show.

Her teacher walked over, looking at her through narrowed eyes before slamming his body against hers in a way Christopher had previously down, putting his hands on her hips.

"Do you feel that?" he asked, breathing down her neck.

As he did so Jodi felt a slight twitch go up her spine, and involuntarily strained against him.

"No." she said, not quite understanding what he was wanting her to feel.

Pulling her closer again, Jodi slightly moved away and it was then that she understood.

"Jodi, you and Christopher are in love. You have just fallen in love, and are professing that through this dance, however it looks as though you are a prostitute trying to please a John."

"What?" she asked, turning around and crossing her arms over her chest.

"You are supposed to be in love, and you simply look pained. As though you are not really in love with him. You're married aren't you?"

Jodi nodded.

"You are not here. You need to have an affair. An affair with the movements, the dance. Or perhaps pretend he is your husband."

Jodi held back a comical snort at the thought of John dancing ballet.

"Okay." she breathed, wiping sweat from her face quickly and turning back to Christopher who was standing on the side.

"Again." he instructor commanded.

Walking to the corner, he pressed PLAY on the stereo and the music from the scene began to trickle in.

Taking a deep breath, Jodi closed her eyes, sinking back into the moves. As she moved across the floor she met Christopher, and he swept her into his arms.

In the back of her mind she replayed the words. _"Have an affair. An affair with the movements, the dance.."_

And that was exactly what she did.

The threw herself at every single move, giving every part of herself. As the sweat poured down her body and her bones screamed, Jodi thrust herself through it all, focusing only on perfection.

She twirled, several times across the floor before stopping in front of her instructor Henry, stopping in time with the music and giving a quick curtsy.

Looking up, she searched his face for any reaction. He gave none, features blank and emotionless.

The corner of his mouth twitched slightly, and he nodded his head slightly.

"Just like that. Three more times."

* * *

When John opened his eyes, he was surprised to see a headful of red hair beside him.

Smiling, he rolled and put an arm around Jodi's waist, feeling the warmth of her body beside him.

Squinting, he looked up as the sun streamed through the blinds of their townhouse. It had to be at least eight. He had not gotten any calls from work, which was a very good sign.

He wrapped his arm around her tightly, and she shifted slightly, moaning as she stirred.

The previous night had been incredible. The two had made love fiercely in the dark, only stopping when Jodi had to take a break to check on the kids. John would not have been surprised if she didn't wake up for quite some time. He himself was still quite tired.

It really did feel as though none of the past months had happened. Te were together, just like always. Everything was going back to the way that it had been.

Brushing a strand of glistening hair from her shoulder, John leaned down and pressed his lips to the soft skin, smiling. Jodi move beneath him once more, before moaning and rolling over.

Her red hair as spread across her face, and she pushed it back gently before rubbing her eyes and stretching.

"Hi." she said in a small voice after she was finished.

"Morning." John replied.

"I have to brush me teeth." she whispered, eyes slightly swollen from sleep.

As she tried to get up, John pulled her back onto the bed, and slid his arms around her waist tightly.

"Not yet." he whispered, lacing his fingers through hers.

Jodi smiled, and gave hi a quick peck on the cheek before climbing out of the bed. John let her go, knowing how much morning breath irked her.

John got up as well, following her to the bathroom. As soon as he arrived, she had just finished up, spitting the last of mouthwash into the sink.

"I'm going to check on the kids." she said, stepping past him.

John nodded, and grabbed her arm before looking into her green eyes deeply.

"What?" she asked, a small smile playing upon her full lips.

"I love you."

* * *

Jodi opened the door to Andrew's room, walking inside quietly.

She smiled as she walked across the room and he let out a loud squeak. As she peered over the edge of his crib, she found him looking up at the ceiling and kicking his feet.

"Hi Andrew." Jodi smiled, looking at him.

He turned his head, large eyes upon her. Smiling, Jodi leaned down and scooped him up in her arms, clutching him tightly to her chest.

He opened his mouth, gums shining and Jodi smiled.

"Hi baby." she cooed, clutching his body tightly.

He looked up at her with interest, before the corners of his small mouth pulled upward into a wide toothless grin.

"Morning there."

Jodi turned around, as John stood in the doorway.

Walking inside of the room, he came towards Jodi and gazed over her shoulder, smiling down at Andrew.

"The girls are still asleep." he replied.

Jodi nodded, before looking down at Andrew, hoping for another smile. Instead, Andrew simply gazed at her before turning his attention to the ceiling.

Smiling, Jodi walked across the room and set him down on the changing table.

"So, the big night is coming up pretty soon. You nervous?"

As soon as she heard the words, Jodi dropped the diaper in her hand as they immediately began to shake.

A breath escaped her, and she clenched the table, feeling panic rise in her chest.

Just days. Days, until her performance. Before the ballet opened with _Swan Lake_. And Jodi had the part of the Swan Queen. Jodi had the part to prove.

The film _Black Swan_ had sold more tickets for _Swan Lake_ than any advertisement could. People who simply wanted to see a real version of it would be coming, and what was Jodi's fate?

Would she fall, just like Nina? Would she crash and burn?

No matter how much she practiced, it was becoming impossible to get the part perfect. She was struggling more and more with that reality each day, and it was far too late to tell the director to replace her with her alternate.

"You alright?" John asked, coming back and putting an arm around her.

Jodi silently shook her head, feeling a lump rise in her throat. She didn't quite trust herself to say anything.

"Why don't you go upstairs? I'll take care of Andrew." John said.

When she turned to look at him, she noticed his eyes kept going back and forth to her shaking hands. He did not trust her with Andrew, and she didn't blame him.

Nodding, Jodi turned around and all but bolted from the room. Climbing the stairs, she made her way all the way up to the third floor.

It was dark, dusty, the only light coming from the windows. Boxes cluttered the hallway, things she had never bothered to unpack.

Finding the bathroom, Jodi closed the door behind her before walking to the sink, opening the doors beneath it.

It had to be in there. Her old friend, the glinting silver that had never let her down.

She had a good life. Moving across the country after her father was imprisoned, but there was no denying the stress. It was hard to try and attain perfect grades, looks and appearances at all times. She was a cheerleader. One of the top in her class. Dancer. Musician. Athlete. Performer.

Perfection. Every last bit of it.

No one understood. No one but that one friend that lay secret beneath the sink.

A small box sat in the corner, and Jodi grabbed it, pausing for a moment to be sure she heard no sounds.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled the box from the cabinet and placed it atop the sink, gently lifting the lid.

Inside, nestled in tissue, was a gleaming silver razor blade.

Glancing down at her arms, Jodi saw that the scars had completely healed for the most part. Unless one was to really look, they would never be able to see them.

Taking her old friend, she sighed with trembling hands and sat down on the toilet.

It was a nasty habit, but it helped. Wasn't that all that mattered?

The metal edge sunk into her flesh, and immediately searing pain fled to the spot. Biting her lip, Jodi looked as blood began to bead at the wound and the pain distracted her from the truth of reality.

Her friend had never let her down.

* * *

"What's this?" Olivia asked, glancing down at the sealed envelope on her desk. John's handwriting was on the front, her name spelled out in slanted letters.

"Tickets to Jodi's performance. Couple weeks back you said you were interested."

"Wasn't the show sold out?" Olivia asked, looking up.

"Well, I mean I am the main stars husband." John grinned, walking to his desk.

Olivia smiled, setting the envelope down on her desk.

"Thanks. Feels kind of heavy."

"There's two, bring a date."

Olivia raised her eyebrows at that, but looked back down at her desk. Elliot walked over, two cups of coffee in his hands.

The two of them had been there for the past 36 hours, and there really seemed to be no end in sight.

"What's this about Jodi performing? She hasn't gone back to stripping has she?" Elliot asked somewhat condescendingly, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Sorry to disappoint but not anymore. Actually, Jodi has the lead role in the Juilliard production of _Swan Lake_ and I got Liv tickets." Munch replied.

Olivia looked up at Elliot, surprised to see a strange look on his face.

"Any chance you can get me a pair?"

"What, does Kathleen want to be a ballerina now?" Munch replied nastily.

"No actually, Kathy has been looking to do something. I think she'd really enjoy it."

"I'll see what I can do."

As soon as Munch said the words, Olivia's phone rang.

"Olivia Benson." she answered.

The details went in one ear and out the other. It was the way she kept herself from really getting sick when she got the calls from the police.

"What is it?" Elliot asked.

"Police I.D.d our victim."

"Alive?"

"Far from. They only found a piece of her."

"And what piece was that?" Munch asked, his voice wavering.

"Her hand."

* * *

Jodi leaned into Christopher, grasping his hands tightly as he held her, his strong frame swaying against hers.

Turning she stood on the knuckles of her toes, lifting her leg behind her and coming into a deep bow, before stepping away from him.

Sweat poured down her body, and through the thick fabric of the heavy cut-off sweater she wore, the cuts on her arm stung fiercely.

Around them, the dancers erupted in applause and Jodi looked down off the stage into the empty auditorium, where their director was sitting in the darkness alone.

He stood up, and everyone became silent before coming into the light, hands behind his back.

Jodi breathed, her lungs fighting for oxygen.

She had just given it everything she had. If it was not good enough, then nothing else would be.

Everyone waited in anticipated for his criticism, but he simply stood with his hands behind his back before opening his mouth.

"Thursday. 2:30. Be here, we open at 7."

With that, he turned.

His footsteps echoed throughout the empty auditorium, and as soon as the door slammed, everyone began cheering loudly.

"Hey, great job. You're going to do amazing on Thursday." Christopher said, turning towards her.

Jodi blushed, looking down and gave him the smallest smile, feeling the ache of the cuts on her arm.

"I hope so."


	23. Mine Again

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Mine Again_ by Mariah Carey.**

**Mine Again**

Jodi woke up, simply staring at the ceiling for quite some time before John shifted beside her.

"Morning. Big day." he grinned, rolling over and putting an arm around her.

She ignored him, continuing to stare at the ceiling.

Her stomach was knotted so fiercely that it felt as if she could not even breath. Beneath the sheets, her hands shook tremendously and it was not until now that Jodi had really wondered what she had gotten into.

She still had not even perfected her solo in the opening scene. Every time, she missed one of the steps. It was unnoticeable, but enough to drive her instructor to screeching at her at the top of his lungs.

Jodi pushed herself out of the bed and made her way to the bathroom, sprinting to the toilet before tossing the seat up and hurling violently into the toilet.

"Jodi!" John exclaimed, rushing into the bathroom behind her.

"Get out." Jodi rasped, coughing and flushing the toilet.

John put his hands on her neck, and Jodi pushed him away before wiping her mouth and flushing the toilet.

Standing up on shaky legs, she walked to the sink before looking in the mirror.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" she screamed, upon seeing her reflection.

Her face was entirely covered in red scaly bumps, that she had not seen since she was a teenager. She had never been medically diagnosed with Rosacea, but it was with only thing that made sense.

Anytime she was out in the sun for prolonged periods of time, the scaly red bumps would break out on her cheeks and T-zone, or if she was stressed. Neither had played significantly in her life since her young days, and she had really thought it had just gone away.

"It's...not that bad." John lied horribly.

Jodi glared at him, before yanking her toothbrush from the brass cup on the sink and furiously brushing her teeth. She hoped it was something makeup could cover, and hated the thought of showing up at the school with makeup already caked on.

"Damn it this cannot be happening." Jodi whispered, leaning forward and examining her face.

She sighed, before pulling off her clothes.

"Will you check on the kids?" she asked, shoving back the shower curtain.

"Sure." John replied, his tone wavering before leaving the room hesitantly. Jodi put her face in her hands before stepping into the shower and turning on the water.

The freezing water trickled onto Jodi's face, soothing her burning skin. She tilted back her head, letting it run down her skin and closed her eyes.

Tonight was her first and only chance. Opening night. The night that would mark the beginning of her career in dance forever.

Would she fail? Or would she emerge triumphant?

Jodi tossed her head back, taking a deep breath and sighing.

She could only hope for the best.

* * *

"Hello Elizabeth."

Elizabeth looked up from her hospital bed as Dr. Saunders walked in.

She was a tall woman, Egyptian roots by the look of it. In her early forties, and married to a rich man by the sizable ring on her finger. Her dark hair was up in a strict bun on top of her head, and her red lips were pursed seriously.

"How did all the tests go?" Trevor asked.

Despite her arguments not to, as soon as Elizabeth came to Trevor rushed her right to the hospital. She personally had quite a few spells over the past few years, but she did not see it as a big deal. Her diet was erratic, there were times she would not eat an entire day then the next binge. Her blood sugar was probably everywhere, but the doctors wanted to do more tests.

"Well, we noticed something. Elizabeth, how long have you been smoking?"

"Since I was a freshman in high school, why?" she asked, slightly taken-aback.

Dr. Saunders sighed, before stepping to the side of her bed and looking at Trevor.

"We found something, in your lungs. A rapid cell growth on the left side of your right lung."

"...Wait, cell growth? What does that mean?" Elizabeth asked, feeling a cold lump in her stomach.

"You have Stage I lung cancer."

* * *

"How are you feeling? You look nervous."

"No shit." Jodi snapped at Christopher as the two of them sat on the floor stretching.

Her face felt heavy from the foundation she had caked on, and she hadn't even bothered to cover up the cuts on her arms.

"Okay, sorry." he murmered, sighing.

Jodi looked up as she heard footsteps in the studio. Alexander was coming in, already in his tights.

"16 years and I still can't get used to this." he said, slamming down his bag and sitting on the ground.

"Well, you're definitely straight." Jodi allowed herself to chuckle, before cracking his toes beneath his shoes.

"You want to practice the first scene?" he asked.

Jodi nodded and swallowed, unable to even imagine bombing the first scene.

She got up, leaving Christopher behind and walking to the center of the room with Alexander.

"You ready?" he asked.

She nodded, before retreating to one corner of the room.

Inside her head, the music began to play, and she watched as Alexander danced across the room, under the disguise of a handsome young man. Jodi rushed forward, losing herself in the moment and jumping into the arms, truly feeling as if she were a princess, finding this beautiful man in the forest.

He lifted her gently, and she grasped onto his arms, pushing herself towards the ceiling.

Once she fell back to the ground, the two spun around wildly, dancing around the room until it was time for their transformations.

They both backed into a corner, and Jodi stopped.

"Stop, stop, stop." she breathed, waving her hands.

"What's wrong?" Alexander asked.

She did not reply, only sank to the ground and put her hands in her face before biting her lip.

"Jodi, what's wrong?" he asked again, crouching down beside her.

Jodi shook her head, bringing her knees to her chest. She couldn't do this. She could do this.

* * *

"How does this look?"

Olivia walked out of the dressing room, spinning around in front of Anthony.

She wore a black Carmen Marc Valvo ruched-flower applique gown. It fit her body like a glove, hugging her body and flaring out at the bottom beautifully.

"Nice." Anthony mused, smiling.

Olivia had the day off, and needed to get a dress for the premiere of Jodi's show that night. The only guy she knew that could really dress were Munch and Anthony, and she by far preferred the company of the latter.

Looking down at the tag, Olivia blanched. What else could she expect in Bergdof-Goodman's though? Hopefully she would be able to find something on sale for maybe two hundred at the most.

"Not going to happen at this price." she chuckled, unzipping it and walking back to the dressing room.

"How much is it?" Anthony asked.

"$940."

"Okay. My treat, to you."

Olivia turned around, raising an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Let me buy that gown for you."

"Anthony, it's almost a thousand dollars. And I'll only be wearing it once. I'll find a cheaper one."

"Everyone should have something nice for themselves every once and awhile. Let me buy it for you Liv."

"Andrew I can't do that." Olivia laughed.

"Why not?"

"Why not? I mean..you just...you can't."

"You can't even find a good reason. Friends by things for each other sometimes."

"Not one thousand dollar things."

"Eh. C'mon, you deserve it."

"Forget it. How am I even supposed to pay you back?"

"You don't have to."

"Be serious Anthony. _One thousand dollars_?"

"You want that gown, I know you do. You've never had anything so expansive in your life. I've got this."

Olivia paused for a moment, really considering it. No one had ever done something so nice for her, and even when they did, it turned out to be a sham.

"I really appreciate it Anthony, but I just can't."

"Okay, okay. Find another dress then." Anthony shrugged, sitting back in the chair and crossing his hands behind his head.

Olivia stood where she was, thinking about it. She would never find a dress this beautiful. It was beyond inappropriate for someone in her line of work to receive such an expensive gift, but she felt for once that she trusted Anthony.

"Okay...I'll take it."

* * *

"Where the fuck did the time go?" Jodi muttered, looking at her phone.

"Lift up your head please."

She lifted her neck, tilting her head towards the ceiling as one of the art-students applied her makeup.

She turned her head as the girl brushed her cheeks lightly with a cherry blush, giving a subtle pop to the completely white makeup covering the rest of her face.

They had less than an hour until the curtains went up, and now Jodi felt as though her stomach had completely twisted in a knot.

She had not eaten all day, for fear she would vomit again and had drank nothing but water and Gatorade. She could not tell if she was shaking from nerves, or low blood sugar. Neither really mattered, because she truly felt as though she was about to go out there and make a complete fool of herself.

"Relax your mouth."

Unaware of her pout, Jodi opened her mouth the slightest bit, feeling the brush move across her bottom lip.

Her face was covered in beautiful shimmering white foundation, with a diamond base. Around her eyes were a set of diamonds they had decided to add for the show, and her hair was done up in an intricate bun with piece loose. There was just enough room for you crown on top, and enough hairspray to take out the ozone within a matter of seconds.

Jodi's skin felt more than heavy, with the other foundation already caked on top but for some reason it gave her the slightest bit of confidence.

Beneath the counter, Jodi wrapped her legs around the chair she sat in, stretching her feet so that they ached. Her bruises throbbed and the raw skin on the tips of her toes stung wickedly.

"Close your eyes."

Jodi did as told, and felt her artist press thick lashes onto her own lashline.

The glue immediately caused her an itching sensation, and she fought the urge to blink. Sitting back with her eyes closed, she felt herself in the comfort of her makeup artist.

She opened her eyes, batting her new large lashes and looked around.

The swans were all in the same dressing room, all of the girls chattering animatedly amongst one another.

"Take those off. They're distracting." her artist said, pointing to her wedding band and engagement ring.

Jodi felt her heart pound as she pulled the rings off. Sure enough, there was a fat tan line where the both of them had been. She had not taken them off since the wedding.

Flexing her fingers, Jodi felt her hand was substantially lighter. Leaning back again, she looked at herself in the mirror. Almost unrecognizable. She looked so frail, innocent. The white makeup had given her usually feline-like eyes and very widened look. As though she were a startled fawn.

"You're done. You can go to costume now."

Jodi looked up only to find the girl walking away, wiping her hands with a rag. Jodi looked at herself in the mirror again before standing up.

Showtime.

* * *

"God, it's ridiculous the amount of money they pour into these things. Taxpayers money I might add. We could just as well be having this at a community hall somewhere for more than half the price."

"Munch will you shut up? This is your wife we're talking about."

Elliot chuckled and John rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he sank down into his chair. Beside him here Olivia and Anthony, and on their other side were the two empty seats he had reserved for Trevor and Elizabeth. They had both conformed they were coming the previous night, but here the show was to start in five minutes and neither was there.

"John, I never got to thank you for these tickets." Kathy said, leaning over Elliot.

"Don't mention it Kathy." John grinned, before sitting back in his seat again.

The orchestra was tuning up, and the curtain was still down onstange. John had managed to score seats in the second row for all of them, so he would be able to see literally everything.

"Does anyone know what this is actually about?" he asked, leaning over to Olivia.

She replied by smacking his arm, crossing her legs beneath the long dress she wore.

"Your kidding right? Even I know." Elliot said.

"Oh, get to the ballet much?" John retorted.

Elliot snorted and Olivia chuckled.

"It's about a girl who gets turned into a swan by an evil sorcerer. She falls in love with a prince, and at his ball he falls in love with who he thinks is her, but is actually the evil sorcerer's daughter in disguise. After the swan princess finds out she kills herself. The endings vary." Olivia explained.

"What the fuck?" John said loudly so the couple in front of them turned around and glared.

"Sorry." he whispered, and sat back in his seat.

Suddenly, the lights dimmed and the audience began to dim as the opening notes of the Introduction began to play.

John leaned forward, grinning slightly. His wife, the beautiful ballerina.

_Take that Stabler_ he thought.


	24. Lions

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Lions_ by The Features.**

**Lions**

Jodi watched from behind the curtain as Alexander danced across the stage, each second coming closer and closer to her entrance.

Behind the stage, people were walking back and forth, shouting orders and making sure everything was perfect.

Slowly, she rushed onstage, feeling the fabric of her dress flutter against her calves.

It was a calf-length thin dress, with braided shoulder straps. As Jodi emerged onstage, there was the polite applause announcing her presence, and she moved to the center of the stage before turning around.

Alexander's alternate stood before her, extending a hand. He played the role of the handsome man Von Rothbart continued to transform into.

Jodi grabbed his hand and he swung her around, then the two began to dance with one another.

The wove to and from, never making contact after the first touch. He pulled her into him, and Jodi moved away, before turning around.

Suddenly, there was an explosion of smoke and color, as Philip dropped the small smoke ball onto the ground.

Philip and Alexander transferred spots so quickly that Jodi herself was barely even able to register it, let alone the audience.

Alexander pulled her from the audience as the music grew ominous, twirling her around the stage.

She fought visibly in his arms, trying to pull away and feeling as though she really had just been caught by the evil sorcerer. He grabbed her back, before pulling her back into the scenery of trees.

Almost immediately, a large group costume people and technicians flocked upon her, all but ripping off her first costume to put her into the swan one. Barely aware of anything but the next dance moves, Jodi listened intently as the pit orchestra played a series of fillers for the coda.

Taking a page from the film _Black Swan_, the costume crew made a last minute decision to equip Jodi and the rest of the swans with real wings. They were fitted with sleeves made from swan feathers. Jodi's were the largest, followed by the big swans', which were medium sized. The rest of the girls had smaller ones.

"GO!" one of the technicians screamed.

As she did so, the music changed, and Alexander grabbed Jodi forcefully before pulling her back onto the stage.

The music rose to _forte_ with her second entrance, and as dramatic as possible, Jodi flapped her arms, feeling herself rise with emotion.

She had forgotten about the audience. She had forgotten about the show. She had forgotten that any part of it was real. All she felt, was that she was doomed. Doomed to live as a swan, by this lake until he true love came, knowing full well he would mistakenly betray her.

Alexander put his arms around her, and Jodi continued to flap her arms before moving off the stage. The smoke continued to dissipate, and as she moved backstage she heard a thunderous applause. Alexander let go of her, before moving to high-five someone behind him.

"Great job Jodi!" one of the girls cried as she brushed past.

She replied with a curt nod, looking back at Alexander.

Christopher ran past both of them, and the entire cast for the next scene at the palace emerged.

Jodi continued to followed Alexander before turning around, looking at everyone.

"That was fucking incredible!" he chuckled, before leaning forward and picking her up.

It was only then that Jodi really came back to reality, and shook her head.

"It was?" she whispered softly.

Alexander looked at her strangely, and opened his mouth to say something before they were jostled by a group of dancers dressed as the townspeople, running to make it on stage.

The song from the castle scene began to play, and Jodi made her way back to her dressing room.

As she did so, she closed her eyes, trailing a hand on the concrete wall and willing her heart to slow down. Her toes throbbed harder than ever from spending nearly all day en pointe, but she didn't care. If Alexander was right, she had just opened the first scene of the season incredibly, and there was nothing to be upset about with that.

* * *

"Jesus, she was incredible!" Olivia exclaimed as the second scene began.

"Yeah, she was." John replied faintly.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and dug down before retrieving it.

There was a text message from an unknown number, and he was lucky that Olivia had looked over his shoulder at that moment.

"It's from Trevor." she said, furrowing her brows.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to turn that off."

John looked up, to find a tall black man bending over him with a white vest on. John turned off his phone and dropped it back in his pocket. The man gave him a quick nod before departing.

"Where the hell did he come from?" John asked.

"Don't know. That quiet, guy could stage a home invasion and no one would even know." Olivia replied, before turning her attention back onstage.

The dancers had on a variety of colored gowns, and it was evident some sort of celebration was going on.

"What's going on now?" John asked, leaning over towards Olivia.

"There's a feast held in honor of the prince, the guy standing on top of those stairs right now. It's in honor of his 21st birthday, and he has to chose a bride."

John nodded, watching as a young fellow who looked a bit older than Jodi. He was smiling so hard, it looked as if he were in pain and looking at the way his tights hugged every single part of his lower bod John could see why.

"What straight man in his mind would go out wearing tights?" John asked.

"One trying to pick up chicks." chuckled Elliot, motioning to a group of girls sitting in the row across from them.

They were giggling loudly, bumping one another and looking up at the boy as though he was Jesus himself.

As time went on, John himself began to lose interest until the curtain closed before reopening.

Once again they were in a forest, and the prince was dancing through it, carrying a large rifle. John forced himself not to laugh, watching to boy dance daintily across the stage with the gun before pointing it at a group of female swans in the corner.

Walking behind a bush, he crouched down in front of everyone, holding up his gun and pointing it directly across the stage. As he did so, Jodi emerged once more and John sat up.

There was a crown on top of her red hair, which had been done up on top of her head. Amidst the sparkling jewels and white makeup, she looked more beautiful than John had ever seen before. He did noticed an intense look of pain on her face though, as she moved across the stage on her toes, flapping her arms once more.

This time, the feathered sleeves that had once covered her arms were gone, and it was apparent to the audience she was now supposed to be human again.

The prince lowered his gun, standing up slowly and looking at her as though entranced. Jodi spun around, looking up at the ceiling before turning her attention to the prince hiding in the bushes.

He stepped from them, and Jodi jumped dramatically, taking several steps back.

He continued to move towards Jodi, and she continued to move back, shrinking away as though fearful.

The prince looked down at his gun, setting it on the ground gently before outstretching a hand, walking towards Jodi more slowly and catiously this time.

Jodi hesitated, before stepping towards him, simply looking at him as though she was curious.

As the music played, they stepped to and from one another, coming close, but never touching.

Once he would get close, Jodi would step away, and they continued to do this before he grabbed Jodi, lifting her up towards the sky.

Jodi's frame emerged from the darkness of the theater, and John was stunned. Jodi moved so that it seemed she was almost floating.

As she moved, it literally looked as though she really was the character. In his line of work, John was trained to read emotions and he could see the pain and sorrow on her beautiful face.

The two grabbed one anothers hands, and began to finally really dance together. The prince held Jodi tightly, as though afraid to let her go and she turned around, before spinning around and moving offstage once again.

The other swans emerged, forming lines and dancing past one another.

John grinned. His wife, The Swan Queen.

* * *

"Fuck." Jodi swore, putting up one of her feet as she felt something wet in her toe-box.

She untied to silk laces of her shoes, before pulling it off, revealing her big to to be covered in blood.

"Someone get a first aid kit!" one of the technicians yelled, before pushing Jodi back into the make-up chair.

Her artist (who she now knew as Geraldine) returned, dumped some make-up remover on a cloth before moving towards Jodi's face.

They had a limited amount of time before her palace entrance, and she had to have her makeup redone, as well as change costumes to assume to role of Odile.

"Here's your new shoes. I melted them down for you." a soft-spoken boy said, handing her a pair of black pointe shoes.

"Who gave these to you? Their brand new?" Jodi asked, turning her head before having it jerked back in place by Geraldine.

"I know, they just said to give them to you." the boy said, brushing brightly before leaving.

It was that very reason that her toes where bleeding. Everyone here should have known the dangers of dancing in shoes that had not been broken-in, especially onstage.

Someone came back and grabbed her feet, rubbing her toe down with something that stung like hell.

"Hold this." Geraldine said, moving Jodi's hands to her face.

Jodi pressed her fingers down on what felt like a slimy mask, and immediately felt a strange sensation as it stuck to her skin.

It covered the area around her eyes, and almost felt like another skin.

"Does that feel like it's stuck?" Geraldine asked.

Jodi nodded.

Geraldine then grabbed both edges of the material, before pulling it off of her face. As she did so, she turned Jodi towards the mirror.

The area around her eyes was covered in black and silver makeup with such fine detail that she did not even know what it say.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Just a little idea I had my freshman year. Kind of like that nail polish you tear off and put on your nails, only with makeup. I paint the print on a special type of material and use a bonding glue, then it imprints on the skin. You like it?"

"I really do." Jodi smiled, looking up at Geraldine.

As soon as the friendly moment arrived though, is disappeared. Geraldine's face was replaced with her usual scowl and she moved to Jodi's hair.

"I'm leaving your hair down. It will be in your face. Deal with it."

Jodi nodded, standing up when Geraldine told her to so that she could move to costume. And it was back on stage.

* * *

"Oh my God, Anthony that's your sister?"

Anthony had his arm around some buxom blonde, who's name he had actually forgotten. Her voice was so annoying that he felt like scratching out his eyes every single time she talked.

"Yeah, my little sis." he replied, watching onstage as Jodi spun around in her black outfit.

"She's so pretty. I remember when I used to want to be a ballerina, expect I didn't want to have to walk around with turned-out feet like a duck, which is just weird, and I dunno it looked like it-"

Anthony tuned her out, turning to Olivia. She was with some guy, leaning over and whispering in his ear. The two of them chuckled, and Anthony felt his heart skip a beat as she grasped the guys hand. Beside her was John, staring intently onstage and staring at his wife, and Elliot was with his own wife, who happened to be a real babe.

"-and everyone said it hurt really bad, and I mean I cry just went I get a papercut. I dunno. I mean, I dunno, I guess I would try it. Just try it though."

Anthony fought the urge to tell her to shut the fuck up, and looked over at Olivia again.

She was hotter in that dress then he ever would have imagined. For a chick her age, she had an incredible body. Even better than Madonna's, who was all muscle.

Anthony broke his attention when everyone began to clap loudly, and looked onstage where his sister was positioned in some sort of contorted bow.

He joined in clapping, still tuning out Ms. December beside him and joining in with the applause.

As it died down, the music began again and Anthony turned his head once more to Olivia. She looked up, giving him a quick smile which he returned before looking down quickly, feeling his heart speed up.

Olivia.

* * *

Jodi and Christopher grasped one anothers hand tightly, running up the ramp on the middle of the stage. It was masked by several large scenic rocks, and the top was fashioned to look like a cliff over top the lake.

Both of them held each other during the final notes of the song, looking up to the audience before throwing themselves backwards off of the top of the cliff.

Jodi gasped as they landed on the trampoline below, grasping its sides and looking up at the ceiling. Christopher laughed loudly, sitting up as some of the crew came back to help them.

"That was sick!" he grinned, getting up and wiping his sweaty palms on his tights.

With help, Jodi pulled herself up as well, fighting back tears as her feet screamed in pain. Whoever had elected to have her wear new shoes before the performance must have lost their mind.

Jodi stood up with some of the crew, and peeked out of the curtain. Alexander was struggling around onstage, dragging out his death longer than needed. Jodi sighed, making her way to the dressing rooms.

"Where are you going? We have to go back out after we're done." Christopher said.

As he did so, the woman who had played his mother walked over, still wearing her crown and gown before putting her arms around him.

"He handsome." she said in a husky voice, flicking out her tongue and brushing it against his ear.

Christopher immediately turned his attention to her, and Jodi left the too, walking to the other side of the stage.

Closing her eyes, she leaned against the wall, breathing deeply.

"Great job Swan Queen." one of the light coordinators said, tapping her with his clipboard.

"Thankyou." she replied softly, bowing her head.

She had been so focused on her performance she had not even seen John or anyone else for that matter. She hoped he had liked it. Even if he didn't, she knew he would be brutally honest which would hurt, but make things better.

The music stopped, and the theater erupted into magnificent applause. Jodi watched as several guys pulled the curtains closed with a lever. The swans and Alexander rushed backstage, and Alexander grinned, giving her a thumbs up.

When she looked down, she raised an eyebrow at his costume. Or, lack thereof.

Going along with the American 2005 performance at the Kennedy Center, the costume department apparently wanted to have Alexander wearing as less as they possibly could without it being distasteful.

"Yeah." he muttered sheepishly.

He wore a great cape but then nothing else except a set of leaves covering his groin and backside. Other than that, was for the most part naked.

"Come on." he said, grabbing her hand.

They ran back onstage as the curtains opened, and both of them bowed. Seconds later, Christopher appeared, and the three received a quick standing ovation.

Jodi stepped forward, moving into a ballerina curtsy, bowing her head. When she looked up, she saw John sitting in the front row on the end.

He grinned, and she gave him the smallest of smiles before standing up, and leaving the stage.

Finally, she was perfect.


	25. Judas

**A/N: I DO NOT own the rights to any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Judas_ by Lady GaGa.**

**Judas**

"Jodi that was incredible!" Olivia exclaimed, leaning in and pulling her into a hug.

Jodi smiled, feeling close to passing out before looking towards John who stood with his hands in his pockets.

"These are for you." he said with a grin, looking down and grabbing a bouquet of black roses.

"These are beautiful." she smiled, wondering how the hell he had managed to find a full bouquet in the city on short notice.

"You were beautiful." John grinned sheepishly.

"Thanks." Jodi replied quietly, stepping forward.

He put his arms around her, and she stood on her toes, ignoring the pain as he pulled her into a kiss. A whirlwind epic romance kind of kiss.

She nibbled on his bottom lip gently, completely forgetting that they were surrounded by other people until her brother cleared his throat loudly.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to not see my sister sucking face today."

She pulled away from John gingerly, and gave her brother a quick glance before turning to everyone else.

"Thankyou all for coming." she smiled.

"Oh you're welcome, it really was great." Kathy said, smiling.

Jodi gave her the smallest of grins in return. She still felt guilty almost every waking hour about her incident with Elliot.

"Thanks. I made a lot of mistakes though." Jodi shrugged.

She was met with a barrage of argument from the others, but ignored it. She could really think of nothing but getting back home to her children.

"You alright?" John whispered in my ear.

"I just want to get home to the kids." she replied.

He nodded before, putting an arm around her.

"Sorry guys, we're going to head home now. Jodi wants to get back to the kids."

"Yeah, we need to go check on Eli." Kathy said, grabbing Elliot's arm.

Everyone said goodbye to one another and exchanged hugs, before John led her out several blocks to where he had parked.

He held open the door and she got inside, rubbing her bare arms against the cold early winter wind and crossing her legs.

Immediately she kicked off her Uggs, moaning as she looked down at her toes which had already bled through the gauze she had put on.

John got in on the other side and started the car, glancing over.

"Jeez." he muttered, looking at her bloody toes.

"They feel worse than they look." Jodi replied, shoving them back into her boots and silently thanking God that the interior was so soft.

John looked over again, before suddenly lunging over and grabbing her arm.

"What are you doing?" she asked irritably.

"What the hell is this?" he asked, running his fingertips over cuts in her flesh.

"Nothing." Jodi replied, and tried to yank her arm from his grip but he clenched on tightly.

"You're cutting yourself?" he asked, gazing up at her face.

She couldn't even look at him. Look int those eyes, wide with disbelief. More hurtful than anything though, he was looking at her like she was crazy.

"It was just once." she replied.

"Just once? Jodi, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Let go!" she screamed, yanking her arm from his grip and sitting back in her seat.

"You need help." he said, shaking his head.

"No, I fucking don't. Look, will you just drive the damn car?"

"What, so we can go home and have you around the kids?"

"What the hell are you saying?" Jodi asked, her face suddenly coloured with anger.

"I'm saying, I've seen stuff like this everyday. What happens if you lose it around the kids?"

"Wait, are you saying I can't fucking take care of my fucking kids?" Jodi roared, her face heated enough to match her hair.

She noticed John waver a bit, probably never having see her this angry before.

"I just meant..."

"You meant what? Go ahead, tell me!" she screamed.

"Look, what you're doing isn't healthy. I just don't want you to lose your temper around the kids or something and accidentally do something we can't undo."

"So I'm a fucking psychopath who can't take care of her kids now? Is that it John?"

"No, but-"

She cut him off, throwing open the car door and turning around to find Olivia, Anthony and his date.

They all simply stared, before Jodi slammed the door and took off sprinting, ignoring the stinging pain in her toes and making her way back into the building.

She pushed past people, ignoring swears and squeals of protest and found herself sailing towards the ground as she hit the stairs the wrong way.

"Jodi!" a voice exclaimed.

Looking up, she found Alexander standing over her with a young woman on his arm. One of the swans as a matter of fact.

He bent down, pulling her off the floor and she wiped her face, suddenly realizing that tears had been running down her cheeks.

"What the hell are you alright?" he asked, turning to the girl who Jodi thought to be named Taylor.

"You have a tissue?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes and pulled one out of her pocket, turning her head and pursing her lips with such attitude Jodi couldn't help but chuckle for a moment.

Alexander handed it to her, and she wiped her face before sniffing back mucus.

"Sorry. You guys should be on your way." she said, before making her way up the stairs.

Alexander grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"Woah, woah, woah, what's wrong?"

"Um...just stuff with John. No big deal." she shrugged, knowing very well that it was in fact a very big deal.

"No big deal? You just came barreling in here looking like you just got raped. Come on, we're running out to grab something to eat. Why don't you come?"

Jodi thought about it for a moment. She couldn't go back to the car and face him, that was for sure. Besides, if Taylor stopped scowling long enough to actually talk to her she would understand.

"Um, okay." she nodded.

"Alright, let's go ladies." Alexander said, putting his arms around both of them.

* * *

John watched through his windshield as Jodi walked across the street with the guy she always brought around this house and another woman. What was his name? Andrew? Adam?

Whatever it was, John sighed, feeling his heartbeat soar as he replayed the last few moments in his mind.

Maybe he could get her to talk to George or something. It was just that in his line of work, whenever her saw cutting, it wasn't good.

He already knew what other things she was doing to her body. He heard her throwing up every now and then, and had overlooked it because it wasn't that often.

But what if something else was really wrong? What if something lay dormant inside his wife that was trying to get out? It was frustrating. All the crying, yelling and screaming. What if she got sick of it and did something crazy? What if she lit the house on fire? Then he would have no one to blame but himself.

Pulling out his phone, he dialed George's number before putting it to his ear. It rang several seconds before he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Doc, it's Munch."

"Hello John, is there something up?"

"Uh, yeah it's about Jodi. Is there any chance we can meet tonight?"

Dr. Huang was silent for a moment, and John swore he heard another voice on the end of the line.

"Um, sure. Do you know where I live?"

"Have you moved since last year?"

"No."

"Alright, I'll be there in half."

* * *

"Are you going to eat that or stare at it because I'm starving." Alexander said, staring at Jodi's massive slice of pizza which lay untouched on her plate.

She tore off a piece, putting it in her mouth before handing it to him. She hadn't eaten in so long that she forgot what it was like to be hungry.

They had stopped at a small pizza joint up in Queens, where Alexander lived. Getting home would take forever, and she somewhat regretted coming with him. It was obvious that she had ruined something Taylor planned from the way the brunette continued to glare at her.

She wiped her greasy fingers on a napkin before sitting back in her seat. On the car ride over, she had told Alexander everything that happened. Of course she could see his reaction when she told him she cut herself, but she could see Taylor fidget slightly in her seat. She was not alone.

However, Alexander understood that John was overreacting about the kids. The truth was, the thought of her or anyone else hurting her children sent her into a frenzy of angry tears. She could never. She loved them more than anything. More than John. More than her father. More than herself.

The thought that her own husband would even suggest such a thing made her heart ache painfully, and her stomach churn. Her blood continued to boil and every moment she was on the verge of tears.

Jodi leaned forward, taking a sip from the bottle of Gatorade she had bought and side, crossing her legs.

"Hey, how about you spend the night at my place tonight?" Alexander asked.

"What?" she said, the same time as Taylor who sat up.

Alexander ignored Taylor, looking at her as he chewed on his pizza.

"It's a long ride back to your place. Besides, I think you two just need a night apart. You look like you're going to kill someone at any second."

Jodi grinned. It was true, but from the look on Taylor's face she didn't dare say yes.

"I probably shouldn't. It seems like you two had plans tonight, and I've already interrupted enough."

"See, she doesn't want to." Taylor said, turning to Alexander and grabbing his hand.

"We didn't really have anything going tonight. Besides, we can ride together for the next show."

As soon as he said that, Taylor leaned back in her chair, before getting up and grabbing her coat.

"Where are you going?" Alexander asked.

She simply flipped him off before leaving the restaurant, throwing open the door and storming past them outside.

Alexander sighed, putting his face in his hands.

"So you really mean to tell me no now?" he said.

"Fine." Jodi grinned, tearing off another piece of his slice of pizza and putting it in her mouth.

She stood up, shivering slightly in the tank top she wore.

"Here." Alexander said, handing her his coat.

"Oh no, I couldn't."

"Would you rather go home to your kids sick? Just take it."

She smiled, grabbing it from him and sliding it on.

"Thanks."

"Yep." he replied, standing up and wiping his hands on his jeans.

"You leaving already Alex?" someone yelled.

Jodi turned around to see it was one of the guys working the counter, an older gentleman who looked more German than Italian.

"Yeah, got another early day tomorrow."

"Alright, see you around kid."

Alexander waved then opened the door for Jodi. She stepped outside, and together they walked to his car.

She got in, squeezing his jacket around her and closed her eyes, leaning against the cool window.

"Thanks for all of this, I really appreciate it." she said.

"No problem, that's what friends are for isn't it?"

"Yeah...I guess so."


	26. Pretty Girl Rock

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law and Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Pretty Girl Rock_ by Keri Hilson, or _Sons of Anarchy_.**

**Pretty Girl Rock**

"You sure you don't want a soda or something?" Alexander asked, carrying a plate of ribs into his living room.

"Do you ever stop eating?" Jodi asked.

"Not really." he shrugged, before slapping the plate down onto the table and tearing into the BBQ-seared meat.

Jodi turned her head away, her mouth water and her body all but pushing her over there as the scent wafted into her nostrils. She couldn't remember the last time she had ribs.

"You want some?" Alexander asked.

"No, I can't. We've got another show tomorrow, remember?" she replied, crossing her legs and looking up at the television. Grabbing the remote, she began to flip through the channels before landing on the show _Sons of Anarchy_, and sitting back crossing her legs.

"Do you ever eat period?" Alexander asked.

Jodi let him have a small grin, secretly thankful not to hear the long speeches and concerns. Alexander was in this business. He knew what it meant, and that the girls had to stay on top of their game at all times. It was even harder for her, having natural curves which meant she really had to keep up with her weight.

"What all do you have to eat?" Jodi asked, finally giving in. She was feeling lightheaded, and she needed to go for a run. She wouldn't make it very far with nothing on her stomach at all.

"Not much. There's snacks in the cupboards, in the fridge just leftovers from places. There's some really good Pansotti in there from Marea.

"Thanks. You have Gatorade by any chance too?"

"Yeah. Eat whatever you want, what's mine is yours."

Jodi smiled, before getting up and making her way to the small kitchen, which had been kept nice and neat for a college student.

She figured if it was something heavy she could just get rid of it, and use the Gatorade to restore her electrolytes. All of her vitamins an supplements were back at home, but she could make due for one day.

Digging through his fridge, Jodi found a leftover container and pulled it out, opening it and closing her eyes as she sniffed the oregano and sweet sauce of the Pansotti from one of the best Italian restaurants in Manhattan.

Searching for a plate, she quickly dumped the contents onto one before slipping it into the microwave and turning around, waiting for it to heat up.

On the refrigerator were dozens upon dozens of pictures. Alexander, posing with people. Older, younger, a majority of a woman who looked exactly like him.

"My mom." he said, causing her to jump as she turned around and discovered him in the room.

"Shit you scared me!" Jodi exclaimed, bringing a hand to her chest as she felt her heart beat rapidly.

"Sorry." Alexander chuckled, before walking over to the sink and washing his sauce-covered fingers.

"Is this your mother?" Jodi asked, looking closer at one of the pictures.

Alexander stood with a woman, smiling with his arms around her waist at what appeared to be a beach somewhere. He didn't look much younger than he was now.

"Junior year of high school. My and my mom took a trip down to Miami. Stayed with her brother, is was nice."

"She's beautiful." Jodi smiled.

"Thanks. She moved to Toledo with her boyfriend a few months ago, I don't get to see her as much, but she lets me know she still cares."

"What about your father?" Jodi asked.

"He was never around. Skipped out as soon as my mother told him she was pregnant. Haven't heard from the bastard since."

"I'm sorry." Jodi said, regretting that she had brought it up.

"No, no, it's all the better. Because of him I knew what _not_ to become when I grew up."

They both stood in silence for a moment before the microwave dinged, and Jodi turned around, feeling Alexander's eyes on her.

"So, we've got to be up pretty early tomorrow morning. I'll take the couch and you can have my bed." Alexander said as she turned around.

"Oh no, you don't have to do that. I'm not going to kick you out of your own bed." Jodi insisted.

"Too bad. Take the bed, don't worry I clean my sheets." he said with a wink.

Jodi watched as he left the room before grabbing a fork and stabbing into the meal viciously before sticking it into her mouth.

As she did so, she felt a pang in her stomach. She should have been home with her children right now, but instead she was staked out at some other guy's home so she could avoid her husband.

Even not having seen them in a day put her on edge. What if something had happened? Would they forget their mother in just one day?

Sighing, Jodi scarfed down the meal before making her way to Alexander's bedroom.

She lay in bed for what may have been hours before finally drifting off to sleep, praying that in the morning she might wake up and this whole ordeal may have been a nightmare.

* * *

"Hey, come on, what's wrong?" John asked irritably, patting Andrew's back as he wailed loudly.

The baby boy only cried harder, his face bright red as he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Shit I wish your mother was here." John whispered, wondering how Jodi was always able to just look at the kids and immediately know what their cries meant.

His diaper was fresh, he didn't want a bottle and walking around hadn't seemed to help much. It had been two hours since he had awoken John crying, and had not stopped since.

"What's wrong?" John groaned, sitting down in a rocking chair and attempting to rock him to sleep.

His ears were pounding, and he had to get to work in 30 minutes.

Jodi hadn't come home last night. Only part of him was worried. The other part was just downright pissed. Not only did she have the nerve to storm out, but to go home with another guy?

He had called Betsy, who had let him know she wasn't staying with her. Followed by Anthony, even Olivia.

Andrew let out a loud scream and John realised just how hard he was gripping the boy. Slackening his clasp, he rocked back and forth violently, dark thoughts turning over in his head.

Was she fucking him? John had seen the way the young boy looked at her. Like she was some sort of piece of meat. Every time she turned around his eyes would roam her body, the body that she had given to him in front of witnesses from across the city and God.

He wanted to trust her. He wanted to believe that she would never give herself to another man. Never violate his trust and hurt him like that again. But everyone did things when they were angry. And the truth was, it kind of seemed like they were growing apart. Not kind of, it was obvious.

They hadn't even been married a year yet, and already their marriage was on the rocks. Already John felt a surge of pain at the thought of going through yet another divorce. At this age, it wasn't an option. Not to mention the kids. They had three babies. Three lives to get through. There was no way he was going to step out of his children's lives.

His phone rang, and John pulled it out of his pocket before answering irritably.

"You need to get down here, we got a body hanging from a tree over in Bryant." Finn said, and John silently swore. The housekeeper wouldn't be in for another half hour.

"Okay." he said, before hanging up and cutting Finn off. As he did so, the phone somehow made its way into Andrew's chubby hand. The baby took it, before staring intently at it for a moment then shoving it into his mouth.

"Well, one problem down." John said as he stopped crying, and stood up, making his way out of the room.

So many more to go.

* * *

"Elizabeth closed her eyes, feeling the cold winter wind blow at her straight red hair, whipping it around her face.

She took a drag from her cigarette, looking down into the cold New York street and felt her eyes water from the stinging air.

Cars honked, voices yelled, the wind blew. Just a typical night in the beautiful city.

Anything but typical for her though.

"Elizabeth." she heard Trevor say, and silently swore before putting our her cigarette and tossing it out the window.

She turned around, facing him before closing the window behind her.

"You know the doctor said no smoking. Christ you trying to kill yourself?"

"I'm already dying Trevor." Elizabeth shrugged, pushing past him and making her way to the bed.

"You heard what the doctor said, after radiation and chemo you should be fine, it hasn't left your lungs yet."

"Do you know how much those cost Trevor? I don't have insurance you know that."

She crawled into the bed, tucking herself under the sheets and sighing, which brought about a fit of coughing.

Trevor said nothing, only sat down at her feet, looking at the floor.

"We'll figure out something. I could put up some of the money, and I'm sure if you told Jodi-"

"I'm not letting you pay, and there's no way Jodi would do that." Elizabeth chuckled.

"Liz, you're her mother."

"Who abandoned her as far as she's concerned."

"But I'm sure if you tell her she'll-"

"Tell me I need to rot in hell."

"Liz, that's not true." Elizabeth got out of the bed before suddenly becoming completely overtaken by anger.

"DON'T TELL ME IT'S NOT FUCKING TRUE! YOU DON'T KNOW! I'M GOING TO FUCKING DIE AND MY DAUGHTER WON'T GIVE A DAMN! NO ONE WILL GIVE A DAMN!"

It brought about a spell of dizziness, and Elizabeth sat back down on the bed. Trevor grabbed her arm, setting her down easily.

"You're not going to die. I won't let you." he whispered, looking at her.

She smiled, turning her head before hiding her face behind a curtain of hair. If only.


	27. Rolling in the Deep

**A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song _Rolling in the Deep _by Adele. **

**Rolling in the Deep**

Jodi felt her feet hit the pavement hard with each landing, and inhaled and exhaled evenly as she made her way down the street.

Alexander was beside her, their breathes falling in synch as the two jogged three miles and back to his apartment.

Up above, the sun shone brightly, illuminating leftover snow and smashed gum on the New York sidewalk.

"Race you to the stoop." Jodi said, looking over at him and grinning.

Alexander said nothing, only inhaled deeply before taking off.

"CHEATER!" Jodi screamed before sprinting as fast as she could behind him.

She had just caught up when he veered into her, knocking her into a tree and sprinting up his front steps.

"Son of a bitch!" she exclaimed, falling down onto he butt and right into the freezing snow.

"And we have our winner!" Alexander screamed from the top of his stoop, hands in the air.

Several passerby looked up at him with concern before walking away. Jodi stood up, rubbing he tailbone before brushing the snow off of her.

"You're a dick." Jodi breathed, leaning over to catch her breath. Alexander winked in return, before jogging in place.

"I need to make a phone call. I'm going to walk this off I'll see you in a half."

Alexander nodded, before jumping in place.

Jodi began walking away, pulling her phone out of her pocket and looking at it.

No missed calls. John had not even bothered to call her. It wasn't the fact that he did not that upset her so much as the fact that he didn't for the kids. Her heart was aching for her children.

There was also the fact that she had awoken at 3AM and sprinted into Alexander's bathroom to find her shirt completely soaked.

In the heat of everything she had nothing she needed. She had left her breast pump back in her dressing room, and was forced to wake Alexander in the middle of the night to try and explain what exactly had happened.

They had to be down at the theatre in a few hours to begin rehearsing for the night's upcoming show. Normally there would not have long practices before a show, but there were going to be things to clean up from the opening night.

Sighing, Jodi made her way back to Alexander's home, before making an ultimatum to herself. She was going to see her kids, and that was that.

* * *

John stood up quickly, holding the girls in both arms as he heard the sound of a door opening. The dog was barking wildly, and his heart began to pound in his chest as he wondered who could it be.

Walking across the living room, he hid behind a wall turning his head slightly only to find Jodi, kicking snow off her shoes.

Even better.

Sighing, he hesitated for a moment before stepping from around the wall.

As soon as she heard his footsteps, Jodi looked up, like a deer caught in the headlights. Freezing, she stared at him for a moment before walking forward, her jaw clenched harshly.

"What are you doing here? Don't you have another show tonight?" John asked. Part of him was seething, the other part just wanted to fall to the ground and beg her forgiveness.

"I came to see my kids." she all but hissed, walking over.

Andrew was sitting on the couch, giggling loudly as he played with some of his toys. Storming past John, Jodi walked over to the little ginger-haired baby and pulled him to her chest, whispering in his ear.

For a moment, John felt his anger subside as he watched her. So tender, so caring, so gentle. He smiled, looking down at the girls.

"When's the last time you fed them?" she asked, her back still to him.

"About fifteen minutes ago. We're almost out of milk though." John replied.

Jodi nodded, before kissing Andrew, holding him tenderly and turning around.

"I should be home around midnight if everything goes well." she said quietly.

John nodded.

"I'll make you something for dinner." she continued, before setting Andrew down and leaving the room.

John remained standing, before one Ophelia began to cry. Quickly running over to the couch, he set both girls down before giving her a small toy to play with.

She ignored it, her face reddening as her cries grew louder.

"Come on, what's wrong?" John asked, picking her up and feeling her bottom. She wasn't wet, and he had just fed her.

Jodi came rushing into the room, and put Andrew down on the sofa before scooping the little girl up out of John's arms.

"I don't know what's wrong with her she just started crying." John shrugged.

Jodi turned her back on him, kissing the girl repeatedly and patting her back lightly before the unmistakable sound of a baby's burp came through.

"Did you burp her?" Jodi asked, turning around.

"Um..." John began, as she already knew the answer.

She gave him the smallest of smiles before putting the girl down and leaving the room again.

John watched her as she left.

Last night he had gotten together with George, who had assured him, although what Jodi was doing was not healthy, he did not think she was going to hurt their kids. The only thing, was that she might seriously hurt herself. The only option would be seeing a psychologist, and hoping she would agree.

Sitting down on the couch, he grabbed all of his kids, looking down into their large eyes.

He loved her so much. He loved them. This was his family. His everything. And he would do anything to help her.

* * *

"So what exactly are we supposed to be doing here tonight?" Olivia asked, stepping past Fin into the luxurious townhouse that belonged to John and Jodi.

"I need you to watch the kids until I get back. I'm going to go pick Jodi up after her show, and take her somewhere to talk. I'll call you to let you know where I'm on my way back."

"But what am I supposed to do?" Olivia asked nervously. She had never actually taken care of a baby for a long period of time. Let alone several of them. Besides, she had promised Calvin she would be home in time to help him with his homework.

"They're kids Liv, not rockets."

At this Fin laughed, remembering the days when his own son could have very well been a rocket with the way he had defeated his diaper. Walking over to his godkids, he smiled.

"Hi." he said sweetly. Andrew looked at him, before breaking into tears.

"Okay, I have to go, bye." John said quickly before slamming the door behind him.

Olivia looked down at the other two infants, who simply stared at her. What the hell had she gotten herself into?

* * *

"God, I thought that was the end. I can't believe Samantha actually tripped over her own feet during the Pas de Deux. I mean, that's one of the biggest scenes in the entire ballet! Everyone knows it!" Jodi exclaimed, removing her makeup and wincing as she rubbed her skin raw.

Behind her, Alexander continued to remove the pins holding up her extravagant updo.

"God, even after high school girls are catty." he replied with a chuckle.

"What? She fell!" Jodi exclaimed, looking up at him in the mirror.

"Don't pretend you weren't happy about it." Alexander retorted.

"Of course not, she wiped out in front of all the most important people in the city. Why would I be happy about it?"

"Because you've constantly referred to her as "that ogress" since day one."

Jodi slammed her things down on the counter beneath her, and turned around to look at Alexander before laughing.

"Okay. You're right. And no, girls actually don't ever grow up." she shook her head, turning around again before gasping.

In the reflection of the mirror, standing in the doorway, was none other than John, holding a bouquet of flowers.

"John?" she turned around, trying to see if he was really there, or if her mind was just playing tricks on her.

He shifted back and forth, holding the roses nervously in his hands.

"Hey."

"...Hi." Jodi stood up, completely astounded to see him there.

"Um...these are for you." John held out the bouquet, like a nervous teen on prom night.

Jodi walked forward, still in her costume and pointe shoes.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I came to see you. I was wondering if we could go somewhere after this. You know, to talk."

"And I'll be leaving now." Alexander said, clearing his throat.

He stepped past the two of them, before giving Jodi a look that she knew meant to come find him if things went wrong.

Closing the door behind him, the two stood there in silence, before Jodi took the flowers.

"Where are the kids?" she asked.

"With Fin and Liv. I figured that now was as good a time as any for them to start spending some time together."

Jodi said nothing, only nodded before clearing her throat uncomfortably.

"So...will you come with me?"

Jodi looked up at him and nodded. She'd rather they live in a cold household then have to get a divorce not long into her first marriage.

"Yeah. I need to take all this stuff off first though." she shrugged, before turning around and walking over to her dresser.

"Let me help you." John said, stepping forward before grabbing the top laces of the corset she wore.

She twitched beneath him, and she felt John recoil for a moment.

"Sorry." she sighed. She hadn't had him touch her in so long.

He said nothing, and began to undo the laces of her corset.

After he reached the bottom of the garment, Jodi slid out of it, stepping out of the stravagant tutu that was attached.

She was virtually naked in nothing but a white thong and her tights. Taking them off, she got rid of her shoes before grabbing her clothes and putting them on.

Leaving her eyelashes, eye makeup and lipstick on, Jodi turned around and grabbed her purse.

"Okay, I'm ready she said."

Following John, she pulled the pins from her hair and closed her dressing room door behind her, wondering just what the near future would hold, and what it would mean for them.


	28. This is NOT another chapter

**Hey all!**

**Just want to apologize for the hiatus. I've recently just wrapped up my last year of high school, and things got a little hectic to say the least. I'm posting this just to let you know that I will be back in business within the next few weeks, so start expecting updates and I'd suggest going back and rereading the stories a little so you can refresh your mind (I know I am)! I've really missed you all, and expect some great updates coming soon! I'm glad I returned for the Image feature, so now I can put story covers on! Anywho, hope you all will come back!**

**Love and kisses!**

**-61**


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